Confidence Club

[ridinglizzard]

Well... I can't believe it, but the more often I ride my mare, the LESS confident I become! It's not like she has even DONE anything scary, it's just that I anticipate that she will!

She is a great horse, dead solid on the ground, I am super comfortable handling her and doing anything with her as long as I am not on her. But it is getting to the point that when I hop on I just freeze, and I know that she senses this. Today I led her around for awhile to warm up, and then hopped on at the bottom of the yard (she stands absolutely beautifully to mount, not moving a muscle until you cluck) and we stood there for a few moments enjoying the view. Of course, as soon as I ask her to walk she starts, and then decides she wants to trot up the hill towards home (which I anticipated, but of course I start to get anxious anyway). I basically spin her all the way up the hill trying to get her to stop (which she does beautifully in front of the house at the top of the hill!) leaving me anxious and everyone watching wondering what the heck I am doing.

I called my mom tonight and told her (keep in mind that I am a confident, grownup, career type woman and my mom is 70), and she says to me: "WHAT?! What are you worried about! You used to be such a confident rider!". I know, I know.

So, this is my plan... no more riding in the open... I will take lessons with my mare in an enclosed arena type area until I am confident that I can make her respond the way I want. She is smart and been-there-done-that, and I think that she is now playing off my nerves. The thing is, I know that I will be comfortable and confident in an arena and that everything will go swimmingly, but I think that I just need to KNOW this is my BONES again.

Yikes. I wish I was a teen rider again.

 

[michickenwrangler]

One thing: it is EASIER for a horse to TROT up a hill than walk. Some horses are even taught to charge up hills for conditioning purposes, builds big hindquarter muscles. As the resident distance rider here, I spend about a third of my riding time purposefully riding up and down hills in various ways.

Does she stay trotting? Or does she try to break into a faster gait?

Lessons are always helpful no matter the issue.

Relax and don't think so much. That was always my issue, I was always thinking ahead, thinking "What may happen?" Sometimes good, but too much leaves your head spinning.

 

[LauraM]

Absolutely get some lessons. Even when you KNOW all that stuff, having someone TELL you that you are doing it right etc, will boost your confidence. Also, find an instructor that would be willing to come to your house when you are ready and work with you where you will be most commonly riding......in your yard and fields. That is what I do the most......I go to people's houses and work with them and their horse where they want to ride and feel comfortable. As you say, it's an entirely different ball game when the horse is in an enclosed arena and when they are out in the open. For both you AND the horse.

 

[ridinglizzard]

I took my horse to a friend's place for lessons this weekend. They are very experienced and it was great to watch them work with her. They lunged her around, and my friend rode her. My mare was goosey for my friend too, which made me feel a bit better since I know it wasn't something that I was doing to make her jumpy. We rode her without the tiedown and with a snaffle bit in the arena, and by the end of the session she was doing great, holding her head lower, and staying at a nice walk instead of trying to take off everytime something made her nervous. She seemed relieved (and I know I was too!). We ended on a good note. I am going back there for the next few days and I am feeling really positive about the whole experience .

 

[michickenwrangler]

Great!

 

[LauraM]

I took my horse to a friend's place for lessons this weekend. They are very experienced and it was great to watch them work with her. They lunged her around, and my friend rode her. My mare was goosey for my friend too, which made me feel a bit better since I know it wasn't something that I was doing to make her jumpy. We rode her without the tiedown and with a snaffle bit in the arena, and by the end of the session she was doing great, holding her head lower, and staying at a nice walk instead of trying to take off everytime something made her nervous. She seemed relieved (and I know I was too!). We ended on a good note. I am going back there for the next few days and I am feeling really positive about the whole experience .

That sounds great!

 

[ridinglizzard]

My mare is in boot camp! I have decided to board her at my friend's place for the month. We are working with her daily (I am lunging, doing groundwork, and some riding, but my friend is doing the real training stuff). I am amazed at how little the 'well broke' horse that was sold to me actually knows! Goes to show how green I am! They are taking things really slow with her, like trying to get her to lower her head while standing, walking, trotting (remember, she was in a tiedown, probably for her whole life, and is used to holding her head HIGH!), and trying to get her to move off the leg, and even trying to get her to back up! Anyway, my friends are being extremely gentle and patient with her, and she is responding really well. I don't think that she has ever had anyone be so sweet with her!(she lived with an old bachelor in the mountains all her life... I am guessing that they had some relationship but it obviously didn't include formal training). She is so anxious, but then as soon as she does what my friends ask (even a millimeter) they praise her so hard and you can visibly see her relax as if to say "really, is that all you want??!". As soon as she 'gets' it, she does exactly what is asked of her... she seems to be a quick learner. She is still getting flustered pretty easily, but is clearly trying. I am willing to put in the time with her if she is. I have to say, she is clearly NOT the 'confidence builder' that I thought she was, but I am growing to love her and I hope it all works out. Liz