DBF and my hoss...

[rodriguezpoultry]

My dad is nervous about our eventual move to Penn. DBF and I are in AR. He's afraid that I won't be able to keep myself out of debt while maintaining Max. When he broached the subject of possibly selling to me I told him flat out no..Max is with me until he dies. He turned to my boyfriend and asked him what he thought.

DBF got a bit upset and said "No offense sir, but I love that horse as much as she does. He is coming with us come heck or high water."

*sigh* I love DBF...

Dad's just being a dad...nervous and worrying about me.

In the meantime, I'm wanting DBF to learn how to ride fairly accurately. I'm almost certain he needs to learn on a dead-head horse who has been there and done that and can read between the lines of DBF's confusing cues. Max is still coming into the cues with legs and neck reining. He does fairly well, but when he gets confusing cues, he just stops and walks over to me as if to say "Can you please teach him?"

I'm not sure if I should be the one teaching DBF to ride. I know very little about teaching someone how to do it, but can get it down pact myself. I think it's the fact that I'm not a teaching person..I'm a doing person. I know how to keep my butt in the saddle and can sometimes make myself look somewhat decent doing it, but that doesn't mean I know how to make him confident enough about it as well. And then, having a horse who is still learning cues as well...doesn't seem to build confidence to those who don't have a clue what they're doing.

Max is like a giant puppy dog. He will treat you well. He makes SURE that you are safe.

I suppose I'm just afraid that I may be teaching harmful things to DBF than good things. But then, I've been with the trainer and I know they can be VERY, um, harsh in their tones.

Should I just keep blumbering through and let him eventually catch on to the cues? Or should I tell him he needs to take some lessons. (Either way, it'll have to be on Max. None of the other horses are calm enough or big enough for him.)

 

[patandchickens]

Seems to me it depends on his preferences. It sounds like Max is probably a reasonably good beginner teacher, all on his own -- the kind of horse who, when misled or confused, just stops and goes 'huh?' and waits for the rider to start talking sense, rather than the kind of horse who gets all upset or who tries to literally *do* the bizarre things he's accidentally being told.

So if he is happy enough with the trial-and-error, listen-to-what-the-horse-sez feedback method of learning, I see no harm in it as long as it does not seem to be resulting in a more-confused horse when YOU ride.

OTOH if he WANTS someone to be telling him what to do, then of course that is a perfectly fine option too Whether it should be you or someone else depends on whether you can constructively teach him. You could try it and see. THe worst that happens is you might say 'oh, this is NOT working' and go find a professional. Or, it might work out fine. I've seen it go both ways and everything in between.

Good luck, have fun,

Pat

 

[michickenwrangler]

I would suggest that DBF take at least a few lessons from an instructor. That way he knows his teacher is being objective. I've known many married women get into fights with husbands trying to teach them how to ride. Once he gets the basics down, an occasional "Honey, you're slouching a bit in the saddle," is accepted with more grace.