Do you let others ride your horse(s)??

[dianneS]

I have been asked many times by people, usually inexperienced individuals, if they can ride my horse. A lot of people just assume that they will be granted the privilege of riding her because after all, that's what she's for right? She's just a recreational vehicle for all of my friends to take out for a spin??

This assumption drives me crazy. My mare is a one-person type of horse and no matter how I try to explain this to people they don't get it!! I had a grand-prix level rider ask to ride my mare and I turned HER down!

My sister just assumes she can come visit and ride my horse. I don't want her to and I have already told her 'No'. My sister has no formal riding lessons and hasn't even been on a horse in 30+ years. She has neighbors right next door to her that would allow her to ride their horses, why doesn't she go over there? I don't know?

My mare responds to dressage cues, and she is very, very sensitive and light. She has to be ridden from my seat and she moves off my leg beautifully. I don't want some heavy handed person ruining that! But I can't explain it to people who don't get it???

What are your feelings on letting others ride your horse? If you don't allow others to ride your horse, how do you explain to them why?

 

[freemotion]

Well, I would've handed the reins over to the Grand Prix rider in a heartbeat, unless they were a jerk, abusive, or a circus trick rider type.

The approach depends on the person. Here are some I've used:

1. My horse and I are in training and I cannot let anyone else get on her at this time. (Said firmly but apologetically.) Except my trainer.

2. We are showing this year and she has to work very hard every day. It would not be fair to her to have her work twice. Sorry.

3. (Added if they are persistent) I'd be happy to give you directions/the phone number to ABC stables. I hear they have some great trail horses (or some great instructors.)

4. My horse is like my underwear. I don't share. (Then laugh and give them a friendly shove.) This line also works when someone wants to borrow your tack. It never comes back in the condition you lent it in, so just don't!


Remember that anyone who persists after you have said no is being rude and you are not required to bow to rude people. How often do people ask to borrow your car? Your house? Your massage table? Your underwear? It just doesn't happen, or if it did, you'd say no and not be considered unreasonable. Somehow people expect to hop on your horse simply because she exists and they know your first name.

Practice your lines. This is one case where it will have more credibility if it flows of your tongue like you've said it a thousand times. Some people detect hesitation and latch on. Take it from a naturally shy person who overcame it....at least on the surface!

 

[Ms. Research]

Let me say I do not have a horse. I've been in love with them from a very young age, but never have had the opportunity or the financial stability to be a true responsible horse owner, or should I say, keeper. I'm sorry to hear about your sister's attitude towards your horse and yourself. A true horse lover would know that it takes time and work for an animal to trust you, let alone do the commands you wish to do. A child has that attitude that a horse is there "for their pleasure" and you just get up on it and "take off". As you have experienced, some adults have continued that attitude. Horse experts and horse lovers like myself understand what you stated in "Plain English" just now. But trying to make someone who "just doesn't understand" understand "Plain English" is like banging your head against the wall. I've found that out in other aspects of trying to explain something. Keep doing what you are doing, that beautiful animal is yours and you know what's best. If they don't like the word "no" oh well.

Just an opinion from a Long time Horse Lover

 

[carolinagirl]

Freemotion's response are excellent. If I had just plain 'ol horses I MIGHT let someone ride one, but not a highly trained sensitive horse like yours. NO WAY!!!

 

[dianneS]

I turned down the grand prix rider a few years ago because my mare was over coming some past abuse issues and we were going very slow and doing everything on a long loose rein at that time. I was just trying to earn her trust myself.

This mare has overcome a lot. She used to be very angry, now she is the sweetest thing you'll ever meet! I don't want anyone ruining that. Its hard to explain that to people without them feeling insulted. They seem to think that I'm implying that they are a lousy rider (sometimes true) or will mistreat the horse.

I explained to my sister that my horse is in training and I was advised not to let anyone ride her. That she's been through a lot and its taken some time to get her to the point she's at today. I just apologized and said "I'm sorry, I wish I had a horse for you to ride, but I do not. My mare is not an anyone-can-ride-this-horse type, she's a one person horse." I also said that "maybe some day I'll get a "guest horse" for visitors to ride but I can't let anyone else ride this mare."

A child has that attitude that a horse is there "for their pleasure" and you just get up on it and "take off".

That's my sister. She's 55 years old, but has the maturity level of a six year old!

 

[SDGsoap&dairy]

In the same vein of what free said... you wouldn't loan out your husband, why loan out your horse? You've spent hours and hours establishing a partnership based on mutual trust and respect. Just tell them your horse is monogamous.

 

[dianneS]

Just tell them your horse is monogamous

I like that!

 

[goodhors]

There are a few folks I might let ride our horses, but they could be counted on one hand. AND none of them would dream of ASKING to ride. I would have to ask them if they would like to ride the horse. All are excellent riders with skill riding a LOT of other equines, able to softly ask for what they want from the horse. I see a LOT of riders who may ride skilled upper level horses, but not be skilled riders, they are just pushing the buttons of that horse. No adaptability to each animal.

Folks who have to ask to ride, are seldom skilled at all, have NO CLUE about how to manage a horse that is not part of a rental stable. Watched or read too many horse fiction stories.

As mentioned, you have put in the time to be partners with your horse. NO ONE lends out their partner! Would they expect to borrow your dog too? Would you expect dog to even respond to their direction?? I wouldn't. My dog or horse does not respect or respond to other folks beyond being polite for ground handling. And the most amazing part? Folks get OFFENDED when dog or horse ignores them!! "Animals ALL like me", and they want to bother the dog or horse to get a favorable response!

My equines are trained to suit OUR NEEDS and this may be contrary to other folks training methods. My kids may make it look easy, expecially when they were small riders. However kids also did lessons, worked with the animals to get the correct request and response from the horses. For some reason the unknowing equate small rider person with horse anyone can ride. At our house that is about the farthest thing from the truth, because we put our skilled rider kids on our BEST horses, expecting kid to be taken care of by experienced horse when faced with difficulties.

I offer no apolgies for refusing to allow others to ride our horses. We put in the time and effort to get them this nice, not going to expect horse to put up with unskilled riders. I don't have that kind of horses. I have changed my wants in horses since I was a kid, not doing the "$100 wonders" anymore that I fought with back then. I like the "finer feel, better response" from the better bred, better minded animals we have now.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Depends on the person and situation. I will occasionally bring two (of many) of my daughter's friends out for informal riding lessons--usually as part of a birthday present. I lent my Arabian mare to a friend's daughter for a year after her horse died--but she was an experienced rider and took lessons from me. Later went on to compete in competitive trail and did quite well.

Currently, my boyfriend's daughter takes lessons from me on my old endurance horse but both she and dad are learning about every aspect of horse care from me. Dad/my boyfriend and his daughter have learned to brush and saddle and bridle, apply fly spray, hose off horse, horse safety, turnout, cleaning up after themselves and tack care from me. The barn owner also loans her gentle Tenessee Walker gelding out to my boyfriend when he wants to ride so he can learn alongside his daughter.

I don't normally let others ride, and if this guy and his daughter weren't willing to learn all the "peripheral" stuff, I probably wouldn't bother but they are both showing interest and if I can "convert" more horse people, so much the better.

 

[treeclimber233]

My ex-boyfiend asked me one day if he could ride my horse and being a pushover I told him he could (knowing full well he would never catch my horse). After hours of trying to catch my horse he asked my youngest sister to catch my horse for him. There was a rule at home that if you could not catch the horse yourself nobody else was supposed to (supposedly to teach us youngsters to treat the horse well enough that he would not mind being caught the next time). I don't know what happened between the time he left the house with my horse and got back with him but my horse was sweated so much the hair on the bottom of his stomache was crusted with white sweat swirls. You know the crusty white they sometimes get on the shoulders when they dry. He had been completely lathered on his whole body. I rode my horse fairly hard and he was in great shape but I never brought him home looking like that. Later when I got a chance to go riding I only got abut a mile up the road and he pulled up lame. I was only 16 and figured since winter was coming on I would just turn him out to "heal". In the spring when I got him out again he pulled up lame again. I don't know what damage was done but he was ruined. This was over 40 years ago and I have never let anyone ride any of my horses again. Well except my daughter and 2 different trainer when I was there with them. After that I got a backbone and told people "NO" in no uncertain terms!!!!!!!