Peteyfoozer’s Journey (because journaling’s not enough)

[farmerjan]

He looks good after that episode back awhile ago. I see "green" and dandelions so spring is coming on there also!!!!

 

[Baymule]

What a fabulous day!

 

[SageHill]

Fantastic!

 

[peteyfoozer]

He looks good after that episode back awhile ago. I see "green" and dandelions so spring is coming on there also!!!!

Amazing how he came through that and bounced back. We all thought it was the end of him. I’m so grateful he is still with me!

 

[peteyfoozer]

Idk if I am in another flare from hell or if it’s pain still building from last bad fall, but I am struggling to cope. Nothing is diminishing it and it’s everywhere. My head on down. A coma looks good right now. Be back when this passes. Trying to read anything just makes it worse. Take care.

 

[Baymule]

I’m so sorry. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

 

[peteyfoozer]

I’m so sorry. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Thank you. Still pretty sore all over.

I recommend scrolling by the rest as it’s TMI and I just need to vent cuz there is no one to talk to and it feels like putting out there takes its power away.


Had 3 Dr appointments today. Pain Dr says nothing more can really be done, I am maxed on perco and pregabalin. He called for shoulder x rays and if no fracture ( I’m pretty sure it’s only soft tissue, more than likely another tear) he will start injections in 3 weeks so at least there is hope for my shoulder.
Rheumy said same about joint pain. We have been through pretty much every RA drug and more or less failed. There is one more but Medicare won’t cover and I would need monthly infusions at hospital. Can’t afford the gas and high probability it won’t work any better than any of the other drugs I have been on over past 15 yrs. But she is going to check for lupus again as if I have developed it, it might help to treat that instead of the RA. (I don’t think I have ever heard of someone having both) So staying on the drug regimen they have had me on past few years.
Neuro doesn’t think the falling is neurological, doesn’t think I have TBI or anything so that’s good, but doing brain scan anyway to be positive. So basically no one knows why I fall. He suspects all the meds I have had to take over past decades has done something or is doing something, but it’s not something he can “fix”.
They can’t help with the pain levels. Need new dermatologist appt for biopsy to see if they can help with intense itching as I am bleeding all over from it.
If I was an animal I would absolutely euthanize me.
Looks like I only have 2 options to prevent falls. 1. Use a walker everywhere I go, which would mean I can’t leave the house as it doesn’t work on gravel, mud and uneven ground which is all the ranch is. Or 2. Never go out without holding onto Boone. Poor Boone. But he has kept me safe thru many near falls.

To cap off the day, Randy told me at dinner that the nice old guy who brings blueberries to the ranch, his wife killed herself last weekend because she couldn’t cope with her pain anymore. I don’t even know what I am supposed to feel, hearing that. My heart breaks for that sweet man. I understand why she did what she did, but I pray I never do that to my family.
Next week or month has to be better cuz this one just sucked.
On the bright side, I can count on my shoulder improving. And I do have Boone.

He had a difficult day as he is going through a fear period.
1. He whined on the dirt road out, and we thought he had to pee, but he didn’t. Realized it when he started a high pitched sound I never heard from him before, that progressed to all out barking which he’s also never done as soon as we hit dirt road coming home.
2. He was initially afraid to go under table @ breakfast
3. Small Deer statues at the nursery. Too scary to approach. Instead we stopped where he wanted, watched a few minutes and when I realized he wasn’t confident enough to go closer,, I turned around to walk back to the car. He, on the other hand, walked backwards. No way was he taking his eyes off of them.
3. Noises that sounded like elephants galloping on the floor above us in the hospital.
5. Me leaving him with Randy while they x rayed my shoulder. He apparently howled for the benefit of the rest of the hospital waiting room.
6. Ducks sitting on grass in front of our car.
None of which is typical of LGD breed. Definitely fear period.
You’ll be ok Boone. I got your back.

Breakfast

When you don’t fit in stall together

Dr #2

Driving (much to be concerned over…)

 

[Mini Horses]

I see a lot of traffic out that window -- that IS a lot to be concerned about. Statues...yeah, boogies for sure! It's the "don't move, stare" status that's scary. He's still a baby.

As to your constant pain -- wow. That's tough. Maybe you are experiencing fibro, along with everything else. A friend had that and she was miserable. But, somehow, it disappeared after couple of years. Ya know, stress isn't helping your overall. Has any Dr mentioned that as a causative?

All I can offer is HUGS!! Lots of them. . But vent all you want...well listen.

 

[peteyfoozer]

I see a lot of traffic out that window -- that IS a lot to be concerned about. Statues...yeah, boogies for sure! It's the "don't move, stare" status that's scary. He's still a baby.

As to your constant pain -- wow. That's tough. Maybe you are experiencing fibro, along with everything else. A friend had that and she was miserable. But, somehow, it disappeared after couple of years. Ya know, stress isn't helping your overall. Has any Dr mentioned that as a causative?

All I can offer is HUGS!! Lots of them. . But vent all you want...well listen.

Yes, I do have fibro as well (seems to pair itself with just about anything…) and yes, they say stress definitely triggers and exacerbates pain and flares, which is a bummer as it is my greatest skill

Bless you. All of you

 

[peteyfoozer]

This morning’s post from Boone’s breeder (Jo is his dam) :

“Last night we had a mountain lion come into the property, most likely drawn by our newest triplet lambs that were born Monday. The yearling ewe and her triplets, along with another ewe and her twins (one of which we are treating for pneumonia) were separated out from the herd and in their own pen on the interior of the property. They were inside 7ft chainlink fencing. Thankfully, I had Jo in with them, otherwise I would be less several sheep this morning. The lion jumped from the creek up onto one of the shelters and that’s where I found it when investigating why the dogs were upset. It was one fence and 25ft away from both myself and the sheep with their lambs. Jo is a rockstar and held her ground and made the cat think twice about its “easy” meal. I helped scare the cat off and the dogs all quieted down for the rest of the night so hopefully the lion is off finding a more suitable meal.

Here’s a pic of our newest (tiny!) lambs and a very pleased Jo this morning.”

We have a huge cougar population here on the ranch. My Maremmas successfully fended off a few during their lives, guarding my own critters