Promise Acre: Our Journey

Baymule

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I would never, ever advocate monetizing one's parents. My point was that many times siblings swoop in to grab everything they can, and in this case, it will be the OP's home and farm. Without proper paperwork and documents, it has the ability to get ugly. I am not saying that it would get ugly, just that it could, so doing all the legalities beforehand would be the prudent thing to do.

I myself, cared for my elderly mother, and she lived with us. I am blessed with siblings who agreed with what ever I did. I kept them informed weekly and never did or made decisions without them. My brother pre-deceased my mother, so I then included my SIL. When Mom died, I divided up her estate as was in her trust and will. No squabbles, not even a mild disagreement.

Not everyone is so blessed. I hope that Promise Acres is blessed with good family and never has a cross word with her siblings. But get it in writing, legal, signed and notarized. Then my wish for her and her family is many years of enjoyment with her mother living next to them and they will be there for her should she need help and care.
 

promiseacres

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@Baymule I didn't think you would. and know your advice is welcome, along with everyone elses. I'm glad to hear all sides, we will take all advice, might not use it all. but again like to hear all sides, I know I don't always respond to every comment, but am "masticating" it all. At this point the property will be titled in ours and Mom's names. We are meeting the lawyer at a family trust workshop (cancelled the last appt as this is "free" and honestly didn't think we'd still be moving forward). At this point is my Mom's preference, that of having the property in a trust. I don't even know if that's possible at this point... since we're getting the loan.
Personally I am not worried about my 2 sisters. They neither would step up to care for Mom nor do I think they'd try to get their "fair" share out of the property. Now my niece is a different story, her mother, my oldest sister passed away years ago so she'll get her share. She has a different way of thinking and though she lived as my little sister for years... I don't trust her. In fact she laid blame on me and my sisters for some issues she had a few years back when I told her our plans. In any case I've been very blunt with Mom that I do not want to loose the property in the future b/c we "owe" my sisters & niece their share of the future value of the property, especially if we are putting our $$ and time into it. I know she understands that. At this point I'm not sure the best route, personally I think a mortgage in DH & I's name would be best long term. But we'll see. We want Mom to feel comfortable about her future also, in case she does need care as she ages.
 

greybeard

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I would never, ever advocate monetizing one's parents. My point was that many times siblings swoop in to grab everything they can, and in this case, it will be the OP's home and farm. Without proper paperwork and documents, it has the ability to get ugly. I am not saying that it would get ugly, just that it could, so doing all the legalities beforehand would be the prudent thing to do.

I cannot help what siblings or other relatives or persons might do. My eldest sister was executor for my father's estate. Had she elected to find a way to keep it all for herself or give it away, I would have done as I always do and simply followed the last line in my sig.
 

promiseacres

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So hoping to hear back today. Lender is wanting us to do a bridge loan at this time. Needing more information on terms... it will require us to get our place appraised again... so will have some more up front costs. But it's a possibility. Mom's house is getting shown tonight...


Took kids to a rabbit show Saturday. They got lots of ribbons, nothing outstanding but they had fun. Sold 2 rabbits this weekend. Still no bites on the mini rex. so putting them on "sale" then they''ll get culled... just can't keep them all.
 

Baymule

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Another thing to think about, and it is something that no one ever wants to have to face. Should your Mom become incapacitated and require to be placed in a nursing home, in many states, their residence is attached for payment. When they die, the state can step in and sell the property for payment. It is something else to plan ahead for. The state will go back for years, tracking down income and real estate to find the money trail.
 
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