A Jesusfreaks tales of farm life with soon to be Six kids

[thistlebloom]

I think physical distance from family can be a good thing too. Although I miss my older sister terribly at times, she can be a little overpowering with helpfulness. A yearly visit is fun.

 

[Bruce]

Sounds like you have an "Ant and the grasshopper" family JF. Unfortunately you are the only ant. As others said, it is your and DH's responsibility to protect and provide for your kids and each other. Your family are all adults, have been for years, and need to take care of themselves not put a burden of any sort on you. And yes, protect your sanity!

 

[Jesusfreak101]

Mom called me this afternoon and wanted to talk. Her area on lock down and her job is essential but they offered her the choice not to work. She wanted to know my opinion i asked her if she would get paid if she didn't got to work she said probably not. Well then it's really up to you on that. I could tell she was hurt cause I didn't offer her a job up her right then but come on i can't do that first off one we don't have another vechical and I refuse to go in debt to get one for them. Second i am not wanting to employ friends or family and I haven't told her that yet. Mostly because i know it hurt her. Secondly because i don't feel like dealing the the guilt tripping. I told dh if they moved up here I be moving to Alaska. He told me not to tempt him as he had a great job offer there.... i am gonna freeze lol.

 

[Jesusfreak101]

Well they called her back to tell her they closing down the office now what...

 

[B&B Happy goats]

Well they called her back to tell her they closing down the office now what...

She finds another job or files for unemployment, food stamps..whatever THEY need to do to take care of themselfs as most adults do...times are going to be tight for everyone...time they grow up, just like you did

 

[farmerjan]

She finds another job or files for unemployment, food stamps..whatever THEY need to do to take care of themselfs as most adults do...times are going to be tight for everyone...time they grow up, just like you did

EXACTLY what Barb said. They have to take care of themselves. If things are shut down, then that means they have to stay in also. So file for unemployment, STAY HOME, and grow up and act like an adult.

And maybe you need to outright say, that you are in a shut down, lock down area and you cannot risk anyone coming in near the baby. PERIOD. She needs to have some respect for the fact that you have a "vulnerable" infant as far as immune systems go. No matter how healthy, her immune system has had a couple of months to START to develop. She does not need to be exposed to others , like your mom, who has had exposure to others out and about. Bad enough your husband is out with others and comes home to all of you.

 

[Jesusfreak101]

EXACTLY what Barb said. They have to take care of themselves. If things are shut down, then that means they have to stay in also. So file for unemployment, STAY HOME, and grow up and act like an adult.

And maybe you need to outright say, that you are in a shut down, lock down area and you cannot risk anyone coming in near the baby. PERIOD. She needs to have some respect for the fact that you have a "vulnerable" infant as far as immune systems go. No matter how healthy, her immune system has had a couple of months to START to develop. She does not need to be exposed to others , like your mom, who has had exposure to others out and about. Bad enough your husband is out with others and comes home to all of you.

This gave me an idea. Currently she still coughing from the bronchitis that she and dad both had. Light bulb as some would say. Also dh takes a shower and changes his cloths as soon as he gets home he doesn't touch any of the kids if he doesn't have to.

 

[farmerjan]

I wasn't implying that your dh wasn't taking precautions, I hope you realize that wasn't a criticism.... Just was trying to make a comparison that he has to be out.... and i really figured that both of you would have a protocol to be as safe as possible.
YEP, bronchitis is a very good reason for her to not be allowed any contact at this point with the baby. Whatever works sadly, you are going to have to just find the fortitude to outright refuse to be their safety net since they have not done all they can do to protect and provide for themselves.
It's not like they have never heard you say these things in the past. It would be a little different story if this came out out of the blue and hit them broadside...

 

[Jesusfreak101]

True, the biggest issue for me is dh had already talked to them poor if they lost their jobs that they could work with him. It's just another reason i am hard time with telling them no. Then they ask how business is going for him and the proud wide opens her dang mouth and I want to smack my self.
I think of letting him handle it since he started this nonsense but at the same time I feel bad about it. There are moment I need baymule back bone. I guess it's also hard cause they are my parents and I want to help as well.

 

[thistlebloom]

Of course you want to help. You love them and worry about them. But, honestly, they are the ones who should be feeling bad for imposing those sorts of feelings on you. I cannot imagine burdening my sons with worry about us. I would not tell them if we were having a hard time. I would do whatever it took to keep them from worrying. Even though they are grown men, as a mom I still feel that they are my responsibility, and want to help them if they are in need, not the other way around.

Whatever way things go, I know what an emotional position you are in. It's very tough when someone we love takes advantage of that and hits us where we are vulnerable. You have my sympathy and prayers.