A NEW DIRECTION FOR THE OLD RAM

[The Old Ram-Australia]

G'day B M, the lambs were from the new ewes we purchased .Our current C O P is about $60.00 per year, it will fall to about $40.00 per breeder ewe per year when we reach full carrying capacity......T.O.R.

 

[The Old Ram-Australia]

I guess it’s been about six eventful months since I last spoke about Jenny.

Her condition has slipped quite a bit in that time, her “short term and to some extent her medium memory “has completely faded, processing and keeping track of simple tasks and conversations is very hard for her. I am sure in lots of respects she is aware of her condition and in recent times has in an effort to protect herself she avoids if possible contact with people (outside of the immediate family) especially in new or unfamiliar places. She will greet acquaintances warmly but later on she will inquire as to who they were and where we know them from.

Over time I have learned to recognize most of the “trigger points” for a coming “meltdown” and so I can in most cases take evasive action to calm the situation, but it does not always work unfortunately and so the rest of the day can be quite a trial for me to cope with, that is until the next morning when she remembers nothing of the day before. This is probably the hardest part for me as I remember it all and the toll it takes on me emotionally and it is very hard sometimes not to “resent” what I have had to endure the day before, but am expected to “just get over it overnight” and the next day go forward as if nothing has happened .

Life on the farm now has to proceed at her pace and so I am finding that many tasks take so much longer to get done, but I have structured the farm now so the normal pressures are such that I can make allowances for unexpected delays.

I am consoled by the fact that the two ladies from the semi govt agency(Dementia Australia) that watch over me consider that I am doing a very good job given the circumstances and the isolation in which we live and the fact that having anyone come to the house causes Jenny to become anxious and increases her stress levels, but we are in this for the long haul regardless of what challenges we face and we will face then together...............T.O.R.

 

[Baymule]

And that folks, is true love. Many people live their whole lives long and never know what love like this, is. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I can only imagine what both of you go through with this debilitating disease.

 

[Hens and Roos]

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Having recently gone through this with both parents I want to emphasize how important it is for you to get a break. The stress, as you already know, is at a high level most of the time. I would find that 'barn-time' worked wonders for me. I pray that you have a way to get a breather from time to time.

 

[Finnie]

I want to emphasize how important it is for you to get a break. T

Amen to this.

@The Old Ram-Australia What you describe is exactly how my mother described it when she cared for her mother.

It's hard not to take the "meltdowns" personally. It's hard to remember in the moment that it's the Alzheimer's yelling at you, not the loved one. For 5 years, my grandmother had no knowledge that the "mean" lady living with her was her daughter. She was forever telling her to go back where she came from and make sure to leave the checkbook when she went.

They were in an urban area and not isolated, but my mother did not successfully get help and support. It was a risk to leave long enough just to go out and buy food. I think not getting support took a great toll on my mother. (They were in Florida, far away from other family members.)

You may have to weigh the risks vs benefits of getting someone in to relieve you occasionally, since it sounds like it would stress Jenny. But there will be times when you will need help. I know I'm a stranger, but I wish you strength for the road you travel on.

 

[Ridgetop]

Finnie is so right! You need to get some help so you can have an occasional break from the constant stress of watching over Jenny and coping with her disease. Coping with this is more exhausting than you realize until you have someone give you a break from it.

My FIL took care of my MIL for years and we did not realize how bad she had become. When we did, we brought her back to California and found a good Assisted Living facility. They had an Alzheimers unit for patients that would eventually not be able to stay with their husbands/wives, as well as a "daycare" room so the spouse could get some relief. The first time my MIL went there, Daddy sat down and promptly fell asleep for the next 4 hours. He didn't realize how little rest he had been getting watching over Mom. He always to be alert than she did not get out and get lost, leave on the stove, etc. Luckily my MIL never had to go to the "lock down" facility at the Assisted Living home. She passed away from Alzheimers related problems right about the time the facility was trying to talk Daddy into moving her into the "lock down' section for her own safety. We lost her twice, once when she no longer knew us, and again when we laid her to rest. It is a hateful disease, and causes the most grief to a person's loved ones.

Our prayers and love are with you and Jenny. Being able to give her a quiet life on the farm is a blessing.

 

[The Old Ram-Australia]

G'day folks and thank you for your support and comments,your story's and support are of great help for me especially when i'm a bit "down".

Anyway back to the farm:I think i spoke about the three new groups we purchased recently,they have now started lambing,the B H Dorpers have produced 1 set of twins and 2 singles so far,1 of the Darmara's has had a single i am not worried about the lamb numbers as they have all come off pretty "hard country",but the ewes themselves have come away in leaps and bounds as far as condition is concerned.

It has been "damm cold" (well for us anyway ) -8 C in the mornings and we are paddock lambing so these lambs will be pretty strong types when they grow.Our main lambing is late July through August when we will have some results of our new breeding program.....T.O.R.

 

[mystang89]

My heart goes out to you for having to go through this. My sister and grandmother both had this and I fear myself one day will succumb to it. It is something that scares me not a little but my heart warms to know that people like you are there for those who suffer from this.

 

[Baymule]

We will always be here to listen, share and cheer you up. I have no personal experience, but have seen the effects on friends and their families.

That sounds good about the ewes. They are now in paradise compared to where they came from.