B&B Happy Goats....journal

[Mike CHS]

My Aunt and Uncle in Florida may have started a new trend for many in my family when she died this past year. They didn't have a service of any kind and she went from the hospice straight to the mortuary where she was cremated. They both felt that all of the friends and family that knew her had time to celebrate her life while she was still alive.

 

[Bruce]

My step-mother went the same way. Small family gathering a month or so after the cremation. And by small I mean Dad, kids (both sides), grandkids. DD1 and I were over the Atlantic on the way to France when she died but we had gone out to Oregon to visit the week before.

 

[Baymule]

Dead people require some kind of farewell party. Funerals, memorials, whatever, they are for the living. Some people don't handle death very well and they really need that grieving process. My sister in law went bonkers after my brother died, took her several years to return to her normal. Besides, it is a great time to visit with extended family and friends.

But it's the whole process that gets me tickled. People have to comment on how good the deceased looks. I don't get that part, what? Were they ugly in life and now they look better?

After my Daddy died, a lady at church kept pushing me to join some kind of grieving group. I politely declined several times until she annoyed me. Then I told her that I didn't need a bunch of maladjusted sad sacks whining about their loss that they couldn't cope with. Death happens, nobody gets out alive and I have a real good grasp on reality. Ya' know, she never brought it up again.

I went with my cousin to pick out a casket for her mother. I had a blast. I told every terrible mortuary joke I knew, cracking jokes with the guy who was trying real hard to be professional. I asked him stupid questions that had my cousin dying laughing, but I kept a straight face and acted real serious....I want to know what is the comfort level on this casket versus the more expensive one over there.....she is going to lying in this for a long time and I want her to be comfortable.....and so on. I was a real ass. My cousin had fun though.

 

[Mike CHS]

My Uncle talks to my Aunts urn every time he goes by it and his plans are that he will treated the same as her at his death. The remains of both goes to the oldest and she can do what she wants with both remains. I personally think he should have some kind of instructions so she doesn't wind up with a guilt problem since she already isn't the most stable of the bunch.

 

[Mike CHS]

He's more of a brother than an uncle so yes, we will have that conversation.

He is only 13 years older than I am and we have been together most of my life. He was the baby of the family of 12 kids.

 

[Bruce]

when i asked him if he wanted his cremains in with hers when he died...he said no, i couldn't get away from her if we had a fight, i want my own box beside her. ...lol

Man's got a good sense of humor.

i really wish i could have a thread to let people know the real truth about what happens, how they charge and the true diffrence between cremation and funerals.....when i was done, i bet most would choose direct cremation...

I bet. Some places require embalming even if you are going to cremate. And a casket as well. All to make money because neither are necessary assuming you aren't going to have a viewing. Even embalmed and in a casket a buried body won't be "whole" all that long.

 

[Baymule]

My sister in law has my brother's urn on a table right when you walk in the front door. She made a shrine to him. To me, that's going a bit overboard....ok a LOT overboard. She still hasn't adjusted that he's gone and probably never will. He was blessed with her, she adored him.

 

[Bruce]

Same with my Dad. My stepmother died 11 years ago, the urn is in the bedroom. No shrine though.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

I lost both of my parents within a 6 week period this past summer. Thankfully, they had already taken care of all of their arrangements and had reserved spots in a mausoleum. Mom passed first and was therefore installed in the mausoleum first. Their spots were "in-line" and mom went in feet first, head facing out. When dad passed - he went in head first with feet facing out. The funeral director said they'd be butting heads for eternity! He never met them when they were alive - but he sure pegged it!

 

[Mike CHS]

I'm having that same lack of motivation. I went out to feed the dogs, take some hay to the sheep and broke the ice in the water troughs and then came right back to the house.