greybeard
Herd Master
I like Baxter Black....funny guy and he's the real deal when it comes to livestock.
(The following is of course mostly satire)
A concept in protecting coyotes has been introduced by a group of Montana animal rights disciples: Predator Friendly Wool.
They proposed to develop a market for wool raised on ranches where sheep are not protected from predators. The sheep raisers who do not practice predator control are to be paid a bonus on their wool. They propose to sell Predator Friendly Wool products through boutiques.
Well, all I can say is HALLELUJAH! When was the last time anybody wanted to help sheep people? The government took away wool subsidies, eco-freaks wear petrochemical derivatives and cowboys won’t eat sheep. Suddenly, from out of left field we have concerned citizens with expendable income willing to buy and wear wool items. The hitch is that the sheep ranchers must help feed the coyotes, wolves, bears, lions, eagles, wild dogs, carnivorous poachers and mutton-loving piranha.
How can we go wrong? We’ll get national promotion. We can reduce costs by laying off herders and border collies. Park the camp wagons, use the carbine guns as planters, sell the mules. And all for the price of a few baby lambs and old ewes.
Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? And if the idea works, it may spread to other areas. Inner cities, for instance. They suffer from a terrible image problem. The streets are unsafe, tourism is nill, budgets are always in the red. How about Predator Friendly Neighborhoods.
Any community that did not discourage muggers, buglers, murderers, arsonists, purse snatchers and other assorted predators would be given increased federal dollars.
Police expenses would be cut drastically. Courts would close at noon. Lawyers would desert the community. Tours could be scheduled that allowed sensitive patrons to see predators in their natural habitat rolling winos, mugging passers-by, selling drugs and stealing cars. And all in an environment nationally advertised as Predator Friendly.
And just like the Predator Friendly Wool program, the new Predator Friendly Neighborhood plan could all be accomplished simply by sacrificing a few more sheep.
Or, how ’bout new election laws where presidents and politicians were elected for life. A Predator Friendly Congress, unaccountable to any voter.
Ah, my imagination ran away with me. But the sheep business needs a shot in the arm and the trade-off, though distasteful, is well worth considering. I guess my hesitation is the calling we have chosen.
Ezekiel 34:8 “… and my flock became prey to every beast of the field because there was no shepherd. …”
We are the shepherds."
Baxter Black is a cowboy, veterinarian, poet and humorist. His website is www.baxterblack.com.
But yes, there really is a Predator Friendly organization, and they have a website:
http://www.predatorfriendly.org/about/
(The following is of course mostly satire)
A concept in protecting coyotes has been introduced by a group of Montana animal rights disciples: Predator Friendly Wool.
They proposed to develop a market for wool raised on ranches where sheep are not protected from predators. The sheep raisers who do not practice predator control are to be paid a bonus on their wool. They propose to sell Predator Friendly Wool products through boutiques.
Well, all I can say is HALLELUJAH! When was the last time anybody wanted to help sheep people? The government took away wool subsidies, eco-freaks wear petrochemical derivatives and cowboys won’t eat sheep. Suddenly, from out of left field we have concerned citizens with expendable income willing to buy and wear wool items. The hitch is that the sheep ranchers must help feed the coyotes, wolves, bears, lions, eagles, wild dogs, carnivorous poachers and mutton-loving piranha.
How can we go wrong? We’ll get national promotion. We can reduce costs by laying off herders and border collies. Park the camp wagons, use the carbine guns as planters, sell the mules. And all for the price of a few baby lambs and old ewes.
Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? And if the idea works, it may spread to other areas. Inner cities, for instance. They suffer from a terrible image problem. The streets are unsafe, tourism is nill, budgets are always in the red. How about Predator Friendly Neighborhoods.
Any community that did not discourage muggers, buglers, murderers, arsonists, purse snatchers and other assorted predators would be given increased federal dollars.
Police expenses would be cut drastically. Courts would close at noon. Lawyers would desert the community. Tours could be scheduled that allowed sensitive patrons to see predators in their natural habitat rolling winos, mugging passers-by, selling drugs and stealing cars. And all in an environment nationally advertised as Predator Friendly.
And just like the Predator Friendly Wool program, the new Predator Friendly Neighborhood plan could all be accomplished simply by sacrificing a few more sheep.
Or, how ’bout new election laws where presidents and politicians were elected for life. A Predator Friendly Congress, unaccountable to any voter.
Ah, my imagination ran away with me. But the sheep business needs a shot in the arm and the trade-off, though distasteful, is well worth considering. I guess my hesitation is the calling we have chosen.
Ezekiel 34:8 “… and my flock became prey to every beast of the field because there was no shepherd. …”
We are the shepherds."
Baxter Black is a cowboy, veterinarian, poet and humorist. His website is www.baxterblack.com.
But yes, there really is a Predator Friendly organization, and they have a website:
http://www.predatorfriendly.org/about/
