fuzzi's "Gardens and Chickens...and Goats? Oh My!" Journal and More Thread

[fuzzi]

Do you mean what we did after our beloved was gone or beating up on ourselves second guessing what we shoulda’ woulda’ coulda’ done?

Yes.

Not so much about how we shoulda coulda with our beloved, but about getting rid of things and regretting later.

 

[Baymule]

I gathered up BJs clothes and shoes and took to a men’s mission and shelter. I kept some favorite items. What good was his clothing going to do for me, when the bags and bags of blue jeans, shirts, dress clothes, coats, boots, tennis shoes and other things could make a profound impact for someone in need?

I am wearing one of his long sleeved Tshirts right now. It brings me comfort.

I cried over some of his things. Big sobbing grief. I was packing up to move and I couldn’t take it all. He was a bit of a hoarder and kept many things for sentimental reasons. I couldn’t keep all his stuff because it meant something to him, I have some of his stuff because it means something to me. I still have boxes of his stuff after moving twice. It’s been 3 years, someday I’ll finish going through everything, but I’d rather go outside to play.

Lots of people tried to tell me not to make any decisions for a year. Well, maybe good advice for them, but not for me. I don’t waffle around in a dither, overcome and unable to make a well thought out decision. I sold our farm, moved to my son’s house that needed a lot of work, 6 months later I bought 25 acres and moved again.

I’ve got more to do here than I’ll ever get done and that’s ok with me. I’m doing what makes me happy.

I have no regrets. I made the decision to sell our farm of 7 years. We lived our dream and loved every minute of it. But he wasn’t there anymore. He is gone. I can’t bring him back.

My advice to you is dont wallow in self pity, your grief is deep, it is personal and although it gets better, a part of you will always be missing. But the rest of you is still alive and deserves to be happy. Face reality head on, take control of your life and do what makes you happy. If it takes you a month or a year, it is a huge adjustment and you will do what is right for you.

 

[fuzzi]

I gathered up BJs clothes and shoes and took to a men’s mission and shelter. I kept some favorite items. What good was his clothing going to do for me, when the bags and bags of blue jeans, shirts, dress clothes, coats, boots, tennis shoes and other things could make a profound impact for someone in need?

I am wearing one of his long sleeved Tshirts right now. It brings me comfort.

I cried over some of his things. Big sobbing grief. I was packing up to move and I couldn’t take it all. He was a bit of a hoarder and kept many things for sentimental reasons. I couldn’t keep all his stuff because it meant something to him, I have some of his stuff because it means something to me. I still have boxes of his stuff after moving twice. It’s been 3 years, someday I’ll finish going through everything, but I’d rather go outside to play.

Lots of people tried to tell me not to make any decisions for a year. Well, maybe good advice for them, but not for me. I don’t waffle around in a dither, overcome and unable to make a well thought out decision. I sold our farm, moved to my son’s house that needed a lot of work, 6 months later I bought 25 acres and moved again.

I’ve got more to do here than I’ll ever get done and that’s ok with me. I’m doing what makes me happy.

I have no regrets. I made the decision to sell our farm of 7 years. We lived our dream and loved every minute of it. But he wasn’t there anymore. He is gone. I can’t bring him back.

My advice to you is dont wallow in self pity, your grief is deep, it is personal and although it gets better, a part of you will always be missing. But the rest of you is still alive and deserves to be happy. Face reality head on, take control of your life and do what makes you happy. If it takes you a month or a year, it is a huge adjustment and you will do what is right for you.

That is extremely helpful, and I thank you for taking the time to share your personal experience.

 

[fuzzi]

I was already mentally cleaning out Ron's dresser, thinking about storing extra blankets and such in the space. I'm being practical, not uncaring. I can't fit anything of his, so it's being donated.

Our son's been cleaning out the "man cave", sorting through so much junk, papers, things with no sentimental value. But I found an ID bracelet that I gave Ron when we were dating. It's now in my dresser drawer.

We were planning on moving to eastern Kentucky or maybe WV when we retired, but that is on hold. The house is paid for, let's see what happens in the next year or so. Wherever I am I will have my critters.

 

[fuzzi]

Ron's pillow still has his scent. It's staying on his side of the bed

 

[SageHill]

You are wonderfully amazing.