GLENMAR
True BYH Addict
Very well written. I remember your Hoover episode. I am also inspired by your words. I have my first ever goat kids due in about 30 days. I am so afraid that I am going to do something wrong. Thanks for posting.redtailgal said:Heather......
I get EXACTLY where you are coming from.
Let me tell you about my intro to goats, lol.
I've always had cattle and horses, no problem. Then I decided I wanted goats. I did some research and a former friend told me that she had three orphans I could have, so I went to look.
I found three very skinny babies, and they were all three attempting to nurse their bloated dead mother. She'd been dead for over 24 hours and had just been left in there with them. She was COVERED in lice, and was WAY too thin.
I am a sucker and couldnt leave them there to starve to death while nursing a dead udder, so I brought them home, naming them Spider, Shadow and Piglet. Within a week or two, a dog got in a killed Shadow. Piglet was so traumatized that he got SEVERE bloat and died that night, leaving me with only Spider.
Two dead goats.
Spider never really thrived. He was lethargic and just not a good eater. Meanwhile, while I was working with him, my "friends" ENTIRE herd was dropping dead, one by one, necropsy revealed a SERIOUS copper deficiency and ALL of the goats were emaciated.
SInce Spider was now an only goat, I went and got Hoover, a beautiful nubian wether, so Spider could have a friend.
Eventually, Spiders health got so bad that I had to put him down. He died peacefully in my arms, again leaving me with one lonely goat.
Three dead goats.
I became INCREDIBLY attached to Hoover.
So I got Socrates and Plato to keep Hoover comfortable. Then Hoover got a respiratory infection. The vet came out and we treated with Pen-G. On my birthday of last year, Hoover was to get his LAST injection of that Pen-G. I ALMOST didnt give it to him, as he seemed fine, but I am a stickler for finishing the entire course of antibiotics, so I ventured out to the barn to give my baby boy his last pen-g shot. He reacted to it, and died a horrid horrid death.
Four dead goats.
I felt like a failure. I was very traumatized by the death that Hoover had, and my heart was shattered at losing my beautiful boy. That lil goat! He was so sweet, would wag his little tail when he saw me, and call to me, follow me everywhere........he was my boy and I LOVED that goat. I was shattered and frustrated and terrified that I was going to kill Socrates and Plato.
I'm normally pretty tough emotionally, but I really wigged out when Hoover died. I put Socrates and Plato up for sale, but my bull headed husband refused to sell them, so I refused to have anything to do with them for over a month. I wouldnt even go to the barn. Then one day, I HAD to go down there. I threw up when I walked past the place where Hoover died.
It's been over a year, but there is a little place in the wall that is marked from where his hooves hit it when he was having his death seizures.....it still wracks my gut to see that little spot.
Anyway, after I threw up, I sat down in the barn floor and bawled for my Hoover boy.........and Socrates and Plato came over to check on me. Socrates figured out that my tears were salty and that he LIKED salty things, so he kept licking my face............and I fell in love with another goat. I quickly realized that a goat can make me smile even at my worst.
He's not my Hoover, but he is my Socrates, lol.
In the end, I ended up getting MORE goats. I added two does to the "herd" and have every intention of breeding them next year.
Like you, I had a rotten rotten start, but I learned from it. A sick goat can make you cry, but a well goat will make you laugh. Goats can break your heart into a million pieces, but a goat can mend a broken heart in an instant.
I understand being gun-shy. Even after a year, I am terrified to give Pen-G.........even though I have finally come to terms that Hoover's death was not my fault, but just one of those unfortunate events that reaches out and slaps us all in the face from time to time.
I also understand that its those of us who care this much that make great goat owners. I buried my first four goats.......within months of each other, but things turned around and I have four healthy goats. I take good care of my goats and they show their appreciation with beautiful slobbery goat kisses. I did all I could for the first four..........like you, I am a GOOD goat owner. Now, I am reaping the rewards and I love my goats.
Hon...........its time for you to do the same. Cowgirl up, hike up your big girl panties and get another goat. Sure, a goat is what broke your heart, but its a goat that will mend it.