Jodief100--- random stuff and BIG news

[aggieterpkatie]

Sorry you're going through this. I'm a stepmom too, so I can understand how challenging it can be! Sounds to me like he should definitely live with you guys!

 

[jodief100]

I'm really sorry to hear that your family is going through this. I would think that given what care you / DH give both physically / emotionally / monetarily that DH could get custody, but some states are weird about fathers and custody. I wish you the best possible outcome.

He and his mom live in Cincinnati so it is Ohio laws and Hamilton county courts we have to deal with. You have some fimiliarity with Ohio child custody issues so you know how screwed up they are. We had 3 different laywers tell us there is NO WAY Hamilton County courts will award custody to the father unless the child is in immediate, physical danger and even then it will only be temporary until she takes "parenting classes" One female lawyer even said "Hamilton County courts are run by a bunch of man haters"

Hamilton County CPS is currently under investigation by the state due to the fact they have had 8 child deaths in the last two years. All of them kids that CPS either placed in the home or refused to remove from the home.

Unfortunatly what is best for the child isn't a factor. Ohio state law will not even allow a child to choose or use income as a consideration. Though her problem isn't an income problem, it is a spending/lack of budgeting or planning problem.

 

[elevan]

I think County plays a role within the state. My uncle just got custody of his kids in Morrow County. The kids had a huge say in where they wanted to live (age 11 and 14) and they both chose their dad. I actually know quite a few cases in my county and surrounding counties where the father got custody and it generally came down to finances and lack of responsibility (on the mother's part) in those cases.

I know it's hard but sometimes you have to stop providing anything beyond what you're ordered to do in order for the truth of the matter to fully come to light and make any difference. That's what my uncle did.

 

[Queen Mum]

Set aside the money issues for a minute and ask yourself one question. Other than that one issue, is she a good mom? If the answer is yes, then let it go. If the answer is no, then there are bigger problems than money. My heart goes out to the child.

 

[elevan]

Define a good mom...Providing for your child is part of that. It sounds like she'd rather someone else provide for the child while she just spoils them.

 

[jodief100]

I feel I need to clarify- this isnt about money. It is about giving my SS every opportunity we can to succeed in life. It about not lying to him and not making promises you cant keep.

Is she a good mom? Well, she loves her kids, she would do anything for them but she doesnt know how. My SS is not learning things that I consider crucial- responsibility, personal accountability, planning, good decision making. She spends every penny as it comes in the door, usually on her and then when she needs something and doesnt have the money she exploits her children to get someone else to pay for it. I don think she is a bad mom but sometimes love isnt enough.

The critical issue here is she is making promises she cant keep and the consequences are dire. She is lying to herself and to him.

Here are the choices:
He can go to public school which we all agree is not an option. I have nothing against public school in general but the one that is available to her is the stuff of nightmares. Violence, 69% graduation rate, and 22% of the students meet standards. I know it is not the school's fault, it is the parents. We do not want him going where he will be influenced by peers who drive a 31% drop out rate. Neither does she. He is a small kid who loves to please his parents and teachers. He will get bullied and beaten up on a regular basis.

He can come and live with us and go to a school that is not as good as R Bacon but is a good school nevertheless.

She is telling him he can go to R Bacon. There is no way to pay for it. It broke his heart when she told him he couldnt go the first time. What is it going to do to him when she has to tell him again? We are afraid she is planning on enrolling him and then when she fails to keep up with the payments they will not let him continue. We feel it is better for him to change school systems now when he is going into high school as opposed to having to change part way through.

One way or another, J is going to get hurt and his mom is making things worse than they need to be.

As for not paying for anything but what we are required to. When we say no she goes to Rans Mom and get Grandma to pay.

 

[elevan]

Sounds like you're really boxed into a corner.

 

[jodief100]

J's 8th grade graduation was Friday. He was voted the Top Scholar Athlete of his class and won an $800 scholarship. Nice but still no where close to enough. We are very proud of him! He has done so well under some very trying conditions at home His mom and her boyfriend fight a lot, he has kicked her out a few times. 2 years ago his mom had the kids in a studio apartment with the kids sleeping on the floor for three months. She wouldn't tell us where they were, we picked him up at a neutral place. It was difficult for us and more so for him.

He is such a great kid! I wish only the best for him.

At the farm, we are bringing 5 bucks to the MD buck test. We agreed to transport two other farm's goats as well and my loaner trailer fell through. So I am scrambling to find a trailer for 20 goats next weekend.

We got all of the goats run through the headgate, FAMACHA checked an hooves trimmed and tonight all fo the open does are moving out to the pasture along with the biggest kids whose moms are dry. So we are down to two due does and 6 nursing does in the barn along with 18 kids. 8 little bucks in the buck pen, 5 for the test, one alternative and 2 going to the pen/field feed study.

It is very hot and humid......... I hope to get started n the turkey tractor tonight.

 

[jodief100]

Jaz kidded, 144 days from when she went in with the buck. One was stillborn, the other was too weak to even cry. I tubed him and made him comfy but he only lived a few hours. Both were tiny. I doubt they could have reached a teat if they had been able to suck. I accidentally wormed her with Valbazen last week ( I grabbed the wrong bottle an didn't realize until it was too late). Do y'all think that may have caused her to deliver early? She is not producing much and not as active as I would like to see so I am going to dry her off quickly. She is eating but not ravenously like she normally does. There goes my summer cheese making plans but Jaz is more important.

I got the turkey tractor started. Ran bushhogged the back field and around the chicken pens. We have lost a few free rangers the last few weeks so we hope cutting down the long grass helps. Ran wants them to stop roosting on his truck.

I need to sell more birds. I am going through a 50 lb bag of feed every day! I sold 15 last week, need to sell more. I am getting a lot e-mails and a few calls but all my sales are twosie threesies so I need more traffic.

The meaties will be processed this week. I am sick of the big, ugly, fat things. The heat is really getting to them.

 

[elevan]