I thought I had accepted what happened but now as Im on my last few days of vacation it really hurts, its finally sinking in. I tried to push it away not think about it but..I just.. I remember the last time I saw her I knew that when I got home she wouldnt be there to greet me with her small nose. I wouldnt have to mix formula or let her play until she got tired. I wouldn’t call her name and wait for her reply. Or when she jumped up and started screaming for food. I wouldnt be putting a towel on the floor so she wouldnt make a mess. I think whats really gonna hurt is when I get home and go to where she’s buried. She’s under an ash tree that is near our barn. Im thinking of hanging a crescent moon on the tree to celebrate her life. I havent hurt this much over an animal since Mammy. It’s just..hard
What is making it worse is that you weren't there. Don't beat up on yourself. We all know that you are a loving, caring person that loves her animals. You do deserve a trip away sometimes, we all do. Big hugs. I like the moon idea.