It's a shame you can't sue for stupidity... though looking at some of today's lawsuits, that's debatable... I suggest a detailed but concise/short letter of explanation detailing out all the BS you've been dealt in this process and get serious with the CU. It should also include all the accounts you've been required to and have paid off in the process. I wouldn't worry about informing the present loan officer or potential lender. Just go. If the present lender gets their head out of their backside and gets the loan done, then fine... If the CU comes through for you, then just move forward with them and get 'er done. The original lender's loss. Sorry the LO loses a commission, but he chose what lender to work for.
When they look at your CR and see the inquiries, it should be apparent to them that they are all recent and all due to the home purchase process. Many CU's have an underwriter, but then the loan goes before a loan committee to make the final decision. Just for GP, the credit score breakdown is 680-720 is all considered the same. 740+ is considered exceptional. If you were at 700, the next pull will put you at 697. The magic number is 680. Below that, you have the FHA/VA which allow down to 620, and with exception, as low as 580. Below 580, not much chance of getting a typical mortgage.
When they look at your CR and see the inquiries, it should be apparent to them that they are all recent and all due to the home purchase process. Many CU's have an underwriter, but then the loan goes before a loan committee to make the final decision. Just for GP, the credit score breakdown is 680-720 is all considered the same. 740+ is considered exceptional. If you were at 700, the next pull will put you at 697. The magic number is 680. Below that, you have the FHA/VA which allow down to 620, and with exception, as low as 580. Below 580, not much chance of getting a typical mortgage.