mysunwolf - four acres and some sheep

[Bruce]

He has been paying me in hay, even though I tried to refuse, so I'll take that.

Never turn down someone's offer to thank you with something useful - item or help. It is an insult Obviously you weren't doing it expecting a "reward" but a person might not ask for help when they need it if they think you are turning them into a charity case when they DO have something to give back but you won't take it.

 

[mysunwolf]

Never turn down someone's offer to thank you with something useful - item or help. It is an insult Obviously you weren't doing it expecting a "reward" but a person might not ask for help when they need it if they think you are turning them into a charity case when they DO have something to give back but you won't take it.

This would be EXCELLENT advice, if this particular neighbor didn't own half the hills around my property and beyond so he is not in danger of becoming one of my charity cases But point is taken.

Actually, I am really bad about that particular thing. I just want to do kind things for people and get nothing in return, I honestly had never thought about how that would classify it as charity for most people. Now I feel pretty naive

 

[CntryBoy777]

It is difficult to become a good "Receiver" when your thoughts and actions are "Giving" driven....I know cause I'm that way and it is difficult to accept another's kindness and thanks, when ya are just doing what ya do.....I didn't learn until I was in my 50s...so, don't be too hard on yourself.....

 

[Bruce]

Charity doesn't always mean money The sort of thing I'm thinking about is non cash. I pay Al down the road when he mows my field, it is a hired job, not a favor.

I brought it up because my neighbor across the road is one of those "I'll do for you but you can't do for me" types. If I'm always on the receiving end and he's always on the giving end because he won't let me reciprocate, I become a "charity case" in my mind.

I don't feel a need to "keep score" and be equal but I do want it to be "I'll help you when you need help and you'll help me when I need help". Some things just take 2 people!! He has really bad shoulders, there are things he probably shouldn't do with help that he does by himself. I'm home pretty much all day every day, what is 10 minutes of my time? NOTHING!

I did manage to sneak my way in to help when he and a friend were having trouble getting a junk car onto a trailer. So junky in fact that the engine was dropping out and catching on the end of the trailer.

 

[Baymule]

True. True. Sometimes you have to be the receiver instead of the giver. if you deny someone's gift, then you rob them of their blessings. Listen, feel and pay attention to all your senses, you will know when you need to be the receiver, that someone else has the satisfaction of giving, no matter how large or small the gift.

We had a large furniture store. We delivered new furniture and took away the old furniture. if it was pretty nice, we held it in the back room to give away. Sometimes people's house burned and we were able to give them what we had. Sometimes people were just so desperately poor and didn't even have a bed to sleep in. Sometimes we gave away brand new furniture to people who had nothing. We gave some furniture to one little lady who lived in the Senior apartments and delivered it to her, several times. Miss Mary would walk to the doughnut shop and buy us a box of day old doughnuts. It was a sacrifice for her, she was very poor. Not once did I tell her not to do that. She was proud to do something nice for us and I would not take that away from her. For all the giving we did, sometimes it was time to receive.

 

[mysunwolf]

All of your advice means so much to me, no one has ever explained these things to me outright before. I honestly was taught that how much money someone had--perceived wealth, at least--dictated if you could give to them or not, accept their gifts or not, and also who they could give to and receive from. Maybe this is a city mentality. Since moving to the country I have had to learn a whole different culture and I love it, I would never live anywhere else. But I am still learning things daily about country culture, and honestly Appalachian culture, because it's so distinct.

Maybe it's not just country culture, maybe it's something else, because I see a lot of people judge someone else's wealth and decide what is and what isn't theirs to give. That doesn't seem right at all now that I spell it out.

Thanks @CntryBoy777 that makes me feel like I've got a lot of time to learn! At least, oh, 20 yrs or so

@Bruce honestly this happens to me with a lot of my neighbors. Of course just because I'm home almost all the time doesn't mean I'm not working (I usually am, except when I'm bumming around BYH ). But I always tell them that I really truly would like to come over and help out, even when they don't *need* it. Every now and then they take me up on. Sometimes I have to invite myself over to help out and then I worry I'm forcing my presence on them, and/or that I won't be much help anyways.

@Baymule I love that furniture store story, perfect illustration of something that I see so many times in my community. A whole lot of people that I see would not have accepted her doughnuts. A lot of people in Miss Mary's position would have left the doughnuts anyway, another important action as a giver that I'm still learning.

 

[Bruce]

It can be difficult to know if someone is working on something and COULD use help or they are fine just beating on it a bit. I'll err on the side of being "less helpful".

 

[Mike CHS]

Most of our neighbors will offer if they are out and about and most of us have no problem saying No Thanks if we don't need it. I'm not bashful about accepting help either but there are some things I would rather do myself since I can keep my own pace.

 

[mysunwolf]

Well we have two lambs, I've been bad about posting! Charcoal lambed a few days ago, one male and one female, both from Zee. She outright rejected the white female and I had zero success trying to get her interested. (I'm going to kill her, possibly literally.) So we are milking Charcoal out and feeding it to our new house lamb Though the male keeps stealing all of the milk and leaving very little for me to milk out for sister. Tonight he is inside as well, and we'll milk mom in the morning and see if we can't get a full day's rations for the female. I have Pipestone milk replacer on order but until then I'd like her to be on her mom's milk since she is doing so incredibly well. Growing good and perfect poop.

Here are my bad phone photos, I'll have to get good ones later.

Carbon:

Princess:

Princess from today, hanging out in the pottery studio.

 

[CntryBoy777]

Uh-Oh!!....I think the word has gotten out thru the BAaa....BAaaa.....vine on just how wonderfully Great ya are as a BB MOM!!.....
I guess ya are not counting sheep at nite to go to sleep....no...wait....well, ya are counting them Literally....all day Long.....poor young'un ya are.....sure Hope things work themselves out for ya....and I bet the assistance on the potter's wheel there sure comes in right Handy I'm sure....