Promise Acre: Our Journey

[Mike CHS]

When we started gutting our home, we cleaned and painted one room that was our "camp" for the 3 or 4 days a month that we were here. We had a small heater for when it was cold and bought a window A/C unit for the warm months. We still had to bath in a water trough and use buckets to flush the toilet but it worked for us for over 4 months.

 

[greybeard]

Everything else is just roadside entertainment on the journey. It's all about the destination!

I am, of the opposite thought. We all already know what life's ultimate destination is.
Life, is about the journey and how we make our way along it.

Well...why not move YOUR possessions into one of the nice buildings, convert the garage one into a live here/camp here for your family and sell yours to finance the reno? Just an option.

This would be the route I have personally taken twice in the past and more than likely would again.
However, the circumstances involved in the issue being discussed involve small children as well as a husband and wife. It does make things more difficult, tho I did do it once with 4 children too.

let mom muddle along as she feels she wants -- one day she'll get right with herself.

I have a mother-in-law in extreme North East Texas, (obviously older than my 68 years) living alone in an old doublewide except for a dopehead grown son that sometimes stays with her. (he's not worth shootin IMO) The property she has is small and probably not worth the cost of a bulldozer rental to push it all off in a hole, but it's hers. When her husband died about 8 years ago, wife and I tried to get her to come live with us, and offered to either live with us, taking the downstairs spare bedroom, let us put a new mobile home in for her or build a small one bedroom "mother-in-law house" for her on a little hill under some magnolia trees about 100 yards away from our house, here on our property. She declined, saying she was happy where she was, wanted her own place and the one she has was free and clear and was "home". My wife was very upset, and to honest, I was disappointed but we kept to "Honor thy father and mother".

She has been extremely happy with her choice, tho we have had to help her out financially some along the way. She is content to garden, tend her chickens, her yard plants and raise a few litters of yapper type little puppies of some kind , and I think 'right with herself' describes how she is living her golden years.

 

[Latestarter]

I am, of the opposite thought. We all already know what life's ultimate destination is.
Life, is about the journey and how we make our way along it.

Wasn't referring to the journey of life... just referring to the "minor" journey to new home ownership, the "distractions" encountered on the way, eventual refurbishment, and future enjoyment when completed.

 

[greybeard]

Wasn't referring to the journey of life... just referring to the "minor" journey to new home ownership, the "distractions" encountered on the way, eventual refurbishment,..

Yes, but All of which, is still, part of that life long journey.

the 'mom' (as well as my m-i-l) are now engaged in living this part.

and future enjoyment when completed.

Admittedly tho, I do tend to take a very long and wide view of things, and long ago realized that all things are connected, and the part can never be dissected from the whole..there are no 'minor' parts.

 

[Baymule]

@Promise Acre I am one of those who carefully thinks things through, calculates all the what-can-go-wrong/right-scenarios, then makes a decision based on research and facts. That's the not fun me.

Now.....the fun me is the total opposite, and yes, both of us live in the same body. I am also a believer in jumping in the deep end and learning to swim. It makes for some fascinating experiences. LOL

My husband of 22 years has commented that just as he thinks he has me figured out, I change directions. Poor confused man.

That said, you obviously have done your research, you have checked off all the facts and you have made your decision. You are going into this with your eyes wide open. You know the work ahead and you are primed and ready for it.

Now your Mom is waffling on the deal. It sounds like maybe she really doesn't want to move, so be it. It has been said that it might be best for you for the place to be in your name. (when I say you, I mean you and your husband)

This where the fun comes in, a leap of faith, and jump in the deep end. It has already been mentioned to fix up one room or the garage, sell your place and move in. Tell the kids that y'all are going to camp out in your new house. It will be crazy, a mess, hard work, a pain in the butt. But it will also be an adventure, make it fun, put it to family vote on the next room to get remodeled, then do it. I have this wacko attitude and can fall in mud and come up laughing. Crazy has always worked for me. Just do it.

 

[farmerjan]

I will put in my 2 cts..... I have to pretty much agree with what @Latestarter said. It seems that as many times as your mom has waffled on her place, that you should HONOR your DH and your marriage, and your kids, and do what is right for your IMMEDIATE FAMILY. If you are getting this place, with no "guarantees" from her sale or her name on the deed, then the bank obviously thinks you can make it fly. DO IT ON YOUR OWN... when and if she ever does get to where she has to sell, then make a place for her there. But if this is what you really want, then make it work for your household. She has too many horses by what you've said in the past, cannot take care of things the way she should perhaps due to finances.... but you have to take care of yourselves first. Get a couple of rooms done so you can move in. Looks like the downstairs is more habitable. Kitchen, bath, slleping quarters. Then get yours on the market and sold. Then take that money that you have left after paying off your obligations, and put into the renovations and fencing or whatever you need. Once she gets to where she has made a decision, and followed through, you can add her to YOUR place.

 

[greybeard]

This where the fun comes in, a leap of faith, and jump in the deep end. It has already been mentioned to fix up one room or the garage, sell your place and move in. Tell the kids that y'all are going to camp out in your new house. It will be crazy, a mess, hard work, a pain in the butt. But it will also be an adventure, make it fun, put it to family vote on the next room to get remodeled, then do it. I have this wacko attitude and can fall in mud and come up laughing. Crazy has always worked for me. Just do it.

I agree with this, in some form or fashion.

 

[Baymule]

Haha that is funny!

 

[greybeard]

. It seems that as many times as your mom has waffled on her place, that you should HONOR your DH and your marriage, and your kids, and do what is right for your IMMEDIATE FAMILY. If you are getting this place, with no "guarantees" from her sale or her name on the deed, then the bank obviously thinks you can make it fly. DO IT ON YOUR OWN... when and if she ever does get to where she has to sell, then make a place for her there. But if this is what you really want, then make it work for your household. She has too many horses by what you've said in the past, cannot take care of things the way she should perhaps due to finances.... but you have to take care of yourselves first. Get a couple of rooms done so you can move in. Looks like the downstairs is more habitable. Kitchen, bath, sleeping quarters. Then get yours on the market and sold. Then take that money that you have left after paying off your obligations, and put into the renovations and fencing or whatever you need. Once she gets to where she has made a decision, and followed through, you can add her to YOUR place.

If I remember correctly, (and I may not) mom's name was needed solely in order to get the financing for the 20 acre place..if even for that. I do not remember if she (mom) is listed as co-signer or 2nd guarantee or not or because PA's current home was on the edge of being appraised high enough to cover the amount of the new loan.

I do fully agree too, that should mom need a place to stay when the time comes, that she should always have one available at her daughter and son-in-law's new place.

 

[promiseacres]

Moving ahead. Did a walk through last night...
So between it was her original offer, then the CU wanted her to come sign...well she's on the papers. She is still wanting to get it and is willing to pay her part... maybe regrets her refusel of the offer... not much we can do. But things get to tight and if we need to we will get ours on the market come spring. We'll set up the camper and camp until we can move in. It's our dream place so why let it go now?? Yes Mom will have a place if she decides it's what she wants. Am going to focus on us...will help her as we can. DH has made arrangements to start getting our and her equipment moved over the long weekend.
Hope you have enjoyed the ride so far....