# Bee's trying to lose a whole person thread....



## Beekissed (Jan 4, 2012)

I don't know that this journal will inspire anyone at all, but Redtailgal wanted me to put it down in words, so here it goes.  

I have been gaining weight steadily since getting married and then having children...back in 1986.  I'm a stress eater and my life has been one stressor after another since getting married, divorced, raising three boys as a single, working parent and then entering one of the most stressful careers~nursing.  Nurses, cops, air traffic controllers have been voted as having the most stressful jobs due to having enormous responsibilities and absolutely no control over how things are done.  

I'm now 45, my boys are grown and out of the home, I just quit my job as a hospice nurse~I loved it but I was dying the death of a million paper cuts.  Now I am starting to write a book and trying to change my eating and activity levels.  

I have no structured diet plan(I've never actually been on a diet before...can you believe that?), nor would I stick with one.  I've been on exercise programs in the past but have no interest in developing a plan of any kind.  I'm just not that kind of person...structured days do not appeal to me and I would never stay with it.  I like a normal flow of life to happen and so wish to just introduce different eating habits and activities as a normal part of my day to day living.  

I've always been physically active and muscular, despite my weight, and I carry it well.  My top weight was 289 and that was recorded back in October.  I started to slide towards different eating styles back then and have lost weight since then down to 270.  My goal weight is, ultimately, 140 but I just want to get to the next 10 lb mark as my short term goal.  Every time I go down another 10 lbs I will feel I'm accomplishing something.  

In the past 3 years I've went completely off the reservation with my eating habits and had been eating a lot of what I consider junk foods.  My job had no set hours, I was traveling all over 2 counties, never had set break times or meal times and often would come back to the office and home ravenous, tired, completely emotionally drained and needing comfort.  Bad combination.  :/  

Meanwhile, God has been working in my life and, I feel, preparing me for something other than my current life.  I've been trying to live more in God's will for me in the past 5 years, so I am ready for anything and everything that He would have me do.  I really want to do a ministry or missionary work of some kind and I feel led to write this book that has been in my mind for a long time.  I feel He is also helping curb my appetite, has placed me where I have less stress and more time to concentrate on Him and my book, and where I have time to get some regular activity.

My plan?  Try to get up earlier, read my Bible and talk to God, pray for guidance and inspiration, work on the book, walk and train my old dog, eat healthier, smaller, more frequent meals, do whatever chores are waiting, read a good book, go to bed earlier, get good rest.  Repeat every day that I am able.  

I'll try to journal my progress!


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## SmallFarmGirl (Jan 4, 2012)

Keep going !!! You can do it and we are rooting for yah!!!


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## autumnprairie (Jan 4, 2012)

WELCOME to the RHM club!!!!!
You can do this !!!!
WE WILL BE HERE FOR YOU


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## daisychick (Jan 4, 2012)

Welcome to the fun,  Bee!!!     You can do this.  

Writing down what you eat during the day really helps you to see what you actually eat in a day.   Even if you just keep it on a little notepad at home for your eyes only.   It is amazing sometimes how much I "mindlessly" eat and don't realize how much I put in my mouth in a day.  When I write it down I sometimes think twice before reaching for certain snacks etc. and it helps me.


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## redtailgal (Jan 5, 2012)

Thank you for taking the time to write it out.  I think that is wonderful for people to see all the many different methods there are to weight loss.  There are enough of us in this group, each of us with different motives, methods and expectations, that we can support one another and answer each other's questions, as well as sooth each others frustrations.

When you get tired or frustated, come back and re-read what you wrote, have a moment with God and keep right on truckin'!

I'd love to hear more about your book sometime, but if you are not sharing until you are done, I understand that.

We will respect your unstructured style by not pressuring you for constant updates, so please dont think it a lack of care.

I do really recommend you keep a food journal for a week or so.  You may be suprised at what you are eating without thinking about it.

I worked for awhile as a palliative care nurse.  It's a thoroughly exhausting job.  There just is no way to "turn off" when you sigh out for the day.  It's physicaly and emotionaly draining 24 hours a day 7 days a week, much more so than alot of other jobs.  But, it's also very rewarding, too.  I think doubley so for a Christain minded person.  I quit for much the same reason as you.  My paper cuts were the substandard care I was forced to give becaus I was assigned too many patients, not being allowed to pray with a patient....even when they asked me too, etc etc etc.

I think your plan sounds awesome!


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## Beekissed (Jan 5, 2012)

> My paper cuts were the *substandard care *I was forced to give becaus I was assigned too many patients, not being allowed to pray with a patient....even when they asked me too, etc etc etc.


You hit the nail on the head! But it wasn't from having too many patients, it was from the unethical work practices of my employer and other coworkers.  Their laziness and failure to deliver the good care they promised made many people suffer needlessly and I was constantly trying to fix these lapses.  Watching people suffer and die a lot also contributed to the emotional stress...one can only take so many tears without crying any of your own.  

This is a pretty snack free home, trust me.  I am currently visiting with my mother while I'm writing this book and she is obsessed with keeping weight off, exercising and staying thin.  She has been a vegan for the past 17 years and just recently relaxed that diet structure a little....just a little.  Enough to allow some chicken now and again, some eggs but rarely and some sweets, but very minimally.  

She is 77 years old and can work circles around us younger folk.  She line dances a couple of times a week, square dances each Sunday afternoon, walks on her stair climber each morning, as well as bounces on her rebounder.  She also walks a mile roundtrip to the mailbox twice a day...and she walks _fast_.  She weighs the tremendous amount of 110 lbs when she's "heavy" and 105 when she's not.  

Trust me when I say this...I am living in Diet Central.  I don't need to keep a journal because it is all in my mother's head, I need only ask.  Actually, I don't even have to ask.  

Thanks for the support, ladies!  I will try to offer the same and keep praying for us all.


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## Ms. Research (Jan 5, 2012)

Just popping in with a CHEER!

YOU CAN DO IT!  

Wishing you all the success in arriving at the Red Hot Mamma Status. 

BTW, my hats off to you for being there for the sick.  After being at CHOP, and seeing all the suffering of children, and my own, the nurses there were amazing.  For both the children and the completely unwrapped, devastated parents.  

K


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## daisychick (Jan 5, 2012)

Beekissed said:
			
		

> Trust me when I say this...I am living in Diet Central.  I don't need to keep a journal because it is all in my mother's head, I need only ask.  Actually, I don't even have to ask.


Sounds like you are in good hands at  your mother's house.    You have your own personal journal keeper, exercise coach, and whatever else you might need right there.      Thank you for sharing your journey with us.


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## aggieterpkatie (Jan 5, 2012)

Good luck!  Just wanted to share a really good tip I got from someone when I complained of never wanting to exercise, even though I really needed to.  She said figure out something you do every single day, and exercise before you do that.  For example, I feed my animals every day when I get home from work, so she said make yourself walk before you're "allowed" to feed the animals.   For you, Bee, maybe if you exercised before you read the bible and have your time with God.  Just an idea!


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## Beekissed (Jan 5, 2012)

I'm going to incorporate brisk walking along with the dog...which I've been doing every other day but will ramp up to every day, then twice a day.  The mailbox beckons!    It's half a mile away, so mile roundtrip.  

Then, as leg and torso strength increase, I plan to take the circuitous route to the mailbox, which runs up and down a few pretty steep hills and hollers through the woods.  As time and strength increase, I'm making hiking my "forced" exercise and daily choring my intermediate activity.

I'm starting out easy and working to harder.  I think that is where some people fail at diet and exercise, after seeing this in the medical field all these years. 

They start out determined and strong, wanting to really jump start their new willpower and plans...then they get discouraged because the goals they set for themselves are so new and different, not to mention difficult on soft muscles, that they lose the inclination to continue.

My strategy is to change things a little each day and work to incorporate realistic activities and meals that fit into my life right now and will probably always fit into my lifestyle.  I use to be very active and ate reasonably before I got this big and my goal is to go back to that previous time~just not all at once.  

I've found that those who lose quickly seem to gain it just as quickly when they quit dieting.  I'm looking more for a return to a healthy lifestyle, not necessarily a diet...does that make sense?  I asked myself: "Can I do this for the long run, even if I return to stressful jobs and life situations?  Will I continue to exercise if it is a timed regimen when I have no more time after work and life?

I know I won't if I am trying to count calories, cut down on this or that fat or sugar, exercise for 30 min. at a certain time of the day, etc.  That is not real life, nor do I feel it necessary in a real life...at least in MY real life.  

What I do feel is necessary is to go back to whole foods, raw fruits and veggies, eating when I'm hungry but slowly and only enough to fill me~ but not enough to stuff, work back into moving around more instead of sitting, even if that means more housework, more yard work, more exploration of my surroundings, etc.  THAT, to me, is what I need, is what I have lost or moved away from and the only way back to the body I once had.

Anything else is something I'm sure to never maintain...this, at least, I know about myself.


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## Cabinchick (Jan 5, 2012)

aggieterpkatie said:
			
		

> Good luck!  Just wanted to share a really good tip I got from someone when I complained of never wanting to exercise, even though I really needed to.  She said figure out something you do every single day, and exercise before you do that.  For example, I feed my animals every day when I get home from work, so she said make yourself walk before you're "allowed" to feed the animals.   For you, Bee, maybe if you exercised before you read the bible and have your time with God.  Just an idea!


Great Idea aggieterpkatie. Here's another twist: my faith teaches me to spend time with God before anything else. Praise and worship both count as God time, so I put on some NewsBoys, or LeCrae, or Third Day music CDs and wear the headphones while I walk. Sometimes I sing right outloud  but then if I can sing, I need to pick up the speed. It really gets me going! If you're not into that, www.Sermon.net has many local, national and international sermons. You can at least listen to God's word as you walk. 
Good luck!

Connie


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## Beekissed (Jan 5, 2012)

I started my new routine this morning...awake at 6 am, hit my knees to pray shortly after, Scripture, devotions and song after that.  I actually talk to God all day, so my worship and communion with the Lord isn't really contained to a set time~ but I like the morning hours when it's quiet and dark are a peaceful time with just God and I.  

Then an hour or so on the book while drinking a nice, cold glass of water.  After that routine, I won't have a routine....just moving, grooving, sitting to write on the book as inspiration arrives, etc. 

Right now I'm heading out to the mailbox with the old dog.  He's good company and he doesn't interrupt my conversations with God.


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## redtailgal (Jan 5, 2012)

Beekissed, your mom sounds like my kind of gal!  

Enjoy your walk with God!


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## Beekissed (Jan 5, 2012)

I did!  The sun shown down on my face, God was willing to let my mind run a million miles a minute without concentrating on what He was saying, the dog didn't feel like roaming today and stayed in "heel" position~ though I didn't ask~ and I worked up a sweat.   I could feel those long dormant leg and butt muscles working...when I no longer feel them working, I'll step it up a notch or two until I can feel the strain again.  

Good morning!!!  :bun


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## Cabinchick (Jan 6, 2012)

Good Morning! Sounds like a wonderful way to start the day!


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## Beekissed (Jan 7, 2012)

Went totally off the reservation yesterday and couldn't seem to get enough to eat....hormones in full display!    Needed something spicy, something sour, something tangy, something sweet...actually, I needed ALL those things.  Or thought I did.   

Today I'll do better....


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## Ms. Research (Jan 7, 2012)

Beekissed said:
			
		

> Went totally off the reservation yesterday and couldn't seem to get enough to eat....hormones in full display!    Needed something spicy, something sour, something tangy, something sweet...actually, I needed ALL those things.  Or thought I did.
> 
> Today I'll do better....


It happens.  Know ALL ABOUT those hormones and THEIR needs. lol    Dust yourself off, take a nice deep breath, and start again,  I KNOW you'll do better.  

Keep the faith.

K


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## redtailgal (Jan 7, 2012)

Beekissed said:
			
		

> Went totally off the reservation yesterday and couldn't seem to get enough to eat....hormones in full display!    Needed something spicy, something sour, something tangy, something sweet...actually, I needed ALL those things.  Or thought I did.
> 
> Today I'll do better....


Um, well, my lizard has the same problem from time to time.


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## Beekissed (Jan 7, 2012)

I only have one ovary but it works well each month to remind me that it's still here and needs some attention.  I get a little...er..._edgy_...and I crave certain foods for a couple of days.

Anyone else get those same symptoms?


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## Ms. Research (Jan 7, 2012)

Beekissed said:
			
		

> I only have one ovary but it works well each month to remind me that it's still here and needs some attention.  I get a little...er..._edgy_...and I crave certain foods for a couple of days.
> 
> Anyone else get those same symptoms?


Yep, a "One Ovary" Gal myself.  Know exactly what you are going through.

And Lucky me, I'm getting to have the pleasure of learning what a "One Ovary" Gal goes through "Pre Menapause".  

K


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## Beekissed (Jan 7, 2012)

Mine still gets large cysts on it, which seem to increase the release of hormones....I can actually feel the bulk of the cysts when they are that big and they ache like a toothache~I expect from just tissue displacement in the abdomen.  Then they burst, it burns for a little while and everything goes back to normal....grrrrr! 

But I'm glad I kept an ovary...not menopausal yet(knock on wood!)


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## Ms. Research (Jan 7, 2012)

Beekissed said:
			
		

> Mine still gets large cysts on it, which seem to increase the release of hormones....I can actually feel the bulk of the cysts when they are that big and they ache like a toothache~I expect from just tissue displacement in the abdomen.  Then they burst, it burns for a little while and everything goes back to normal....grrrrr!
> 
> *But I'm glad I kept an ovary...not menopausal yet(knock on wood!)*


Me too.  I would have never had the pleasure of the gift called Henry.  

Unfortunately at the age, knocking on wood ain't working.  Oh well, another change in life's journey.  

K


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## autumnprairie (Jan 10, 2012)

Wanted to say Hi and say keep up the good work 
WE can do this!!!!!

:bun


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## Cabinchick (Jan 10, 2012)

:bun Yes we can, Yes we can :bun
 Beekissed, how ya doin'?


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## Beekissed (Jan 10, 2012)

Well...gained a few pounds of water weight with this hormone flush.  Also got depressed and lethargic from the same.  It is passing, thank the good Lord, and today the headache and fluid is leaving.  Lost the weight I'd gained and am back to where I was....YAY!  

Went off the reservation with eating during this episode but am back to normal today.   Drinking lots of water, going to take a hike with the muttly, work on my book, chore around and just get back into the swing of things.  New goal is the next 10 lb. mark.

Started out the day with getting up early, praying, reading of Scripture, communed with my ol' mama and planned activities for the day.  Will eat some fruit for breakfast and a good salad for lunch and see how the day goes from there.  

How are you all doing?


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## autumnprairie (Jan 10, 2012)

Beekissed said:
			
		

> Well...gained a few pounds of water weight with this hormone flush.  Also got depressed and lethargic from the same.  It is passing, thank the good Lord, and today the headache and fluid is leaving.  Lost the weight I'd gained and am back to where I was....YAY!
> 
> Went off the reservation with eating during this episode but am back to normal today.   Drinking lots of water, going to take a hike with the muttly, work on my book, chore around and just get back into the swing of things.  New goal is the next 10 lb. mark.
> 
> ...


 
Congrats for pushing through it and starting over, it the small steps that count the most and will add up quick. Great JOB


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## Beekissed (Jan 11, 2012)

Haven't been sticking with exercise, as it's been raining cats and dogs here.  Been eating more than I should...but I'm still praying daily for help.  Lost 2 lbs more!  Praise God for help when I can't help myself!


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## autumnprairie (Jan 11, 2012)

Beekissed said:
			
		

> Haven't been sticking with exercise, as it's been raining cats and dogs here.  Been eating more than I should...but I'm still praying daily for help.  Lost 2 lbs more!  Praise God for help when I can't help myself!


Congrats, keep up the good work


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## daisychick (Jan 18, 2012)

Keep up the good work!  Sounds like you are keeping yourself if check, which is what I have to do everyday.   Set your sights on that next 10 pound goal and you will get there.


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## Beekissed (Jan 18, 2012)

I am!  I have little markers you can move around the dial on the scale, so I set one for the next small goal and one for the ultimate goal.  Gives me a mark to shoot for, ya know?  

I have incorporated more activity this week with walking on the tread-climber and some work on the rebounder, as well as just getting up every so often and attending to some chore or other.   Since this household, buildings and grounds are so well taken care of it's hard to find any activity of sufficient complexity to require any time/effort at this time of year.  

Thank you all for the encouragement.  It's really nice to know that others are having the same struggles and you can discuss the ups and downs together.  I tend to not intrude much on another's journal but I need to get over to y'all's place and offer the same encouragement.  It doesn't come natural to me...just not used to having gal pals, ya know?


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## autumnprairie (Jan 19, 2012)

Keep up the good work.


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## autumnprairie (Jan 25, 2012)

How ya doing Bee? Keep up the good work


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## Beekissed (Jan 25, 2012)

Not well at all...I'm in a slump and have gained back some weight.  Right now I'm a little under the weather, so I'm not too active.  

No worries...another day dawns tomorrow!


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## autumnprairie (Jan 25, 2012)

Beekissed said:
			
		

> Not well at all...I'm in a slump and have gained back some weight.  Right now I'm a little under the weather, so I'm not too active.
> 
> No worries...another day dawns tomorrow!


 very true


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## redtailgal (Jan 25, 2012)




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## kstaven (Jan 26, 2012)

Beekissed said:
			
		

> Not well at all...I'm in a slump and have gained back some weight.  Right now I'm a little under the weather, so I'm not too active.
> 
> No worries...another day dawns tomorrow!


With any weight loss attempt the body metabolism will shift and you will experience ups and downs inclusive of upward weight shifts because your bodies norm is shifting and your system gets more efficient at using food and/or slows you down to better store resources. It is a genetic survival mechanism that kicks in at some point for most.


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## Beekissed (Jan 26, 2012)

You are right...and my body has that survival mechanism in spades!  I once stayed with my mother for a couple of months between jobs and ate what she and Dad ate~pure raw vegan~exercised when they did....and didn't lose a pound.  My mother was amazed and said she had always thought I was overeating when they were not around but when she got to see everything that didn't go in my mouth and the results of it, she changed her way of thinking.  She now knows that I burn fuel efficiently, no matter how much or how little I've added to the furnace.  She and Dad, on the other hand, are tiny, skinny people who gain quickly if they vary from their diet and exercise routine.  

When it comes down to it, everyone metabolizes differently and some have a metabolism that adjusts easily to decrease in fuel and increase in activity by burning more efficiently.  For those of us who have this, it takes a long time to see real results after a change in diet and lifestyle.

I watched a few of those shows done over in the UK where they were showing everything these people ate in one week and then showed them how to stop eating it.  I marveled at the huge amounts of sugary and fatty foods these people ate and how big they were NOT from eating all that junk!  If I had eaten even 1/4 of their regular diets I wouldn't be able to walk across the room or even get off the couch!

I carry my weight well, have a pretty solid muscle base under it and I burn slow and steady.  Drastic changes do nothing to me...only long term, steady changes effect my metabolism and it takes awhile for them to settle in and start showing in my weight loss.

I don't stress over it but it does get me a little down when I plateau after having a stretch of steady progress~_that's_ the impatient woman in me.


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## autumnprairie (Jan 26, 2012)

I start gaining weight when I start eating a lot of carbs and not a balanced meal, I grew up eating baked meat (chicken, pork or beef) potatoes and a veggie everynight. I was tiny I found that when I go back to what is healthy for me even if I eat out as long as I eat this way 3 times a week I will lose weight as long as my serving size isn't outrageous.
um, green tea may help it cleans to body.
Whatever works right. WE WILL ALL GET THERE!!!!!!!!
SUPPORT being a big help


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## Beekissed (Jan 26, 2012)

I do appreciate the support!  That's something I've never had and it is very nice.


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## Beekissed (Jan 30, 2012)

Back on track on the weight loss and all is well.  Hope everyone is progressing well on their goals.....spring is just around the corner when you feel more energy and more cheer!


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## Snowhunter (Jan 30, 2012)

Keep at it Bee!! YOU CAN DO IT!  :bun


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## daisychick (Feb 10, 2012)

Checking in to say keep up the good work!  You can do it!


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## autumnprairie (Feb 10, 2012)




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## RPC (Feb 10, 2012)

Keep up the good work you can do it and with spring around the corner you will be able to go outside to exercise.


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## redtailgal (Feb 10, 2012)

Bee, just remember that with God's help all things are possible.

You keep at this.  It will work for you.


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