# Sad and just need to write it down.



## AshleyFishy (Jan 25, 2014)

Sorry I wasn't sure where to put this...

But I'm just frustrated and sad, so I just needed to vent. 

I lost my mother to cancer this past October. My friend was hit by a car, while on foot, and killed, in November. I lost a pregnancy recently. I lost my grandmother this last December. 

And this morning the topping on the cake happened.... I lost my brand new pair of Embden geese last night. I had them for less than 24 hours. I'm so upset. 

In my area they are hard to find and expensive. I guess it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm so depressed my bones hurt. 

Sorry I just didn't know where to put this but I needed to just write it down and get it out. It helps to know someone out there might understand why I'm crying over a pair of geese when no one else does.


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## AshleyFishy (Jan 25, 2014)

Also I got the geese to honor my grandmother... she always had geese when I was growing up and the first quilt pattern she taught me was a little girl in a hat herding two geese with a stick.


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## Goat Whisperer (Jan 25, 2014)

I'm so sorry. 
Things will start to get better.


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## AshleyFishy (Jan 25, 2014)

Funny you should say that. I just a moment ago was handed a small claim/dept claim citation. Over a credit card I defaulted on in 2011 I forgot about.


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## Southern by choice (Jan 25, 2014)

I am so sorry for all your loss.
Af allow yourself to grieve.
Your loss is immeasurable. Thank you for sharing your grief with us in this little community. That is a really big step in helping yourself to heal. I know it doesn't take away the pain but hopefully it brings you some small comfort to know that others really do care and share in your sadness.
After I read your post I went and sat outside thinking of all you have been through, it reminded me a great deal of the story of Job. 
Sending you true heartfelt hugs and praying for strength for you.


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## jodief100 (Jan 25, 2014)

I understand crying over geese.  I am so sorry things are going badly.  I wish I could help but we are thinking of you.


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## elevan (Jan 25, 2014)

I too completely understand why you're crying over the geese.  I wish I could give you a real hug but a cyber hug will have to do


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## AshleyFishy (Jan 25, 2014)

Well no real life hugs for me but I got cheesecake!


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## Southern by choice (Jan 25, 2014)

Sometimes that'll just have to do.


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## AshleyFishy (Jan 25, 2014)

Aaannnddd I broke the screen on my note 2...

Just not my day.


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## Beekissed (Jan 25, 2014)

Prayed for you, Ashley.  I prayed that the Lord would bind up your broken heart and comfort you as you go through hard times in this life.     Every night and every storm must end sometime, so I hope the sun rises on you soon and warms your spirit...your sore and tired spirit.


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## kinder (Jan 25, 2014)

Beekissed said:


> Prayed for you, Ashley.  I prayed that the Lord would bind up your broken heart and comfort you as you go through hard times in this life.     Every night and every storm must end sometime, so I hope the sun rises on you soon and warms your spirit...your sore and tired spirit.


I am so sorry for your losses,and I know it can seem endless. But please know you are not alone.I am with beekissed.


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## bonbean01 (Jan 26, 2014)

So sorry for it all sweetie...you can cry on our shoulders anytime!


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## promiseacres (Jan 26, 2014)




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## Baymule (Jan 26, 2014)

I don't know how you feel. But I know how I felt when I watched my Daddy take his last breath after a horrible 2 years of painful bone cancer. I know how I felt when my first baby was born with no skull and died at 2 days old. I know how I felt when my beloved grandfather died. I was devastated. I was crushed. I thought I would never get over it. I know how I felt when a baby squirrel that fell out of a tree, that I was bottle feeding, convulsed and died in my hands. I bawled and squalled like the world was coming to an end. Over a squirrel.

That said, yes you do get over it. No, you never forget. But God wraps his loving arms around you and he loves you. God doesn't cause bad things to happen. Bad things happen, people die, terrible things happen because there is sin in the world. God grieves with you. Jesus, your savior is there for you.

My little Desirae was born on August 8, died on the tenth and buried on  August twelve. Thirty two years ago. Life goes on. I was blessed with 2 healthy children. God rains blessings on us.

You will deal with all that has been heaped on you. You are a strong woman, stronger than you even know. The geese were, like you say, the last straw. Even a strong woman like yourself has to have a moment to break down, fall apart, and cry it all out. Then get up, dust off the seat of your pants and get back to life, because for all it's heartaches, life is good.

I hope you find another pair of geese. Name one after your mother and one after your friend. It might sound silly, but I have a mule named after my mother-in-law, the sweetest woman to ever walk the earth and it is special for my DH to have an animal named after his mother.


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## Beekissed (Jan 26, 2014)

Amen.


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## moffitthill (Jan 27, 2014)

AshleyFishy said:


> Well no real life hugs for me but I got cheesecake!


Cheesecake... can't fix it but sure can't hurt... 
just curious though if you lost lost them or if they passed ... 
and if they passed within 24 hours of receiving them... perhaps there was something wrong and they can be replaced? We guarantee health for so long as long as they are duly diligent.  Doesn't fix the feelings of losing these two but financially may remedy so you can get another pair.


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## ragdollcatlady (Jan 27, 2014)

I am sorry....I don't have any other words for you so prayers and thoughts will have to do.


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## AshleyFishy (Jan 27, 2014)

It looks like they flew out of their pen into the main pasture, then went over that fence and went into the 50+ acres next to us.


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## AshleyFishy (Jan 28, 2014)

I just wanted to say thank you all. Thank you for your prayers, support and . I just wanted to update y'all and tell you I'm doing a little better now. Still a little bummed of course, losing family is never easy, however the little things in life aren't bogging me down as much now.

I settled the defaulted credit card out of court!

I'm hoping to buy some goslings this spring. Maybe they will bond with me and not want to run off 

We had a house flood, oh back in I think August, and am finally getting my new flooring! So excited about having real floors again. 

So again thank y'all for your council and love.


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## bcnewe2 (Jan 28, 2014)

My first love is to my dogs, Border Collies. It is they that bought me into the wonderful world of animals that are such a part of my soul.  
Long ago my young sister's husband died suddenly.  It was a very heartbreaking tragedy.  The day before the funeral my first border collie was tragically hit by a car and died in my arms.  
I was heartbroken over both but felt guilty that my heart ached as much for my puppy as my sister's husband.
Upon seeing her at the funeral we cried together for our losses. She looked at me with love in her eyes and said she totally understood that my heart was broken as much as hers even though it was only my dog.  And went on to tell me that up in heaven her husband must have needed a friend at his side and knew he couldn't take their dog, it would have been to much for her to bear.  So instead my puppy went to be by his side for the new journey that they were beginning.

I tell you now, maybe the loved ones you lost needed your sweet geese to accompany them on their heavenly journeys.  Be sad for your loss but happy for the wonderful new journeys that they have embarked on together.
Peace to your heart.


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## Sweetened (Jan 28, 2014)

Our words are only honey on a wound, trying to start it knitted, but we all mean them sincerely.  My most sincere condolences for your loss.

I have found when things spiral, and then continue to do so when you've acknowledged or vented, going to bed and have a nap, then waking up again to re-start the day, can sometimes add some clarity.  These times will be hard for you, they'll come up later after they've healed and surprise you, but each time it'll get a little easier, it'll become a new normal, and you will heal.

I find, when I am sad or scared, I will find which animal I have that will sit with me, and I just talk.  I believe they understand everything, where many believe otherwise.  And sometimes in your saddest moment, an animal who may be a little flighty or skittish, disinterested or even mean, will approach you to comfort and say they understand.  Those moments are healing and worthwhile to try for.  Helps the worried emptiness that can be there.

You will be fine, and you have all of our support.  Do get in touch if you need an unbiased ear who knows very little of you.  Sometimes, that helps as well.

All the very best.


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