# Sometimes you just wanna throw in the towel... Update #3



## newbiekat (Feb 12, 2016)

I just need to vent a little ... and cry ... So please bear with me... this is a long post.

We had 4 confirmed bred does, and all 4 does have kidded. The first one, kidded triplets (2 girls, 1 boy), no assistance needed, all is good. Second and third (sisters) kidded the same day, one with twin boys the other with triplets (2 boys and a girl). The fourth kidded yesterday with 2 girls. We were so elated with all of this, now here's where things get rough.

The 3rd doe kidded while we were at work. We came home to two dead bucklings, and a live doeling. We think the two were stillborn because she didn't even clean them off. The fourth doe is a FF. Had both girls with no trouble at all. She kidded that morning with no help necessary. I stayed for the delivery then saw that she was cleaning them off and thought they'd be ok, so I went to work. I watched on my barn cameras (while at work) that it didn't seem like the smaller of the two (5 lbs) was not getting up. So I asked my FIL to go check it out for us. He said the bigger one (6 lbs) was up and nursing just fine, the other has some back leg issues and isn't getting up. But he had to be somewhere and made sure they both nursed and had full bellies before he left. I had another friend stop by somewhere around 3 hrs later. She said the same thing, made sure that both babies nursed, and added that Peaches (momma) didn't seem very patient with them. She thought the leg issue was because the doeling's legs were so long (which they are, but that's not the issue), and I thought the fact that Peaches was not being very patient was due to her being a FF... Anyways, I get home yesterday, Peaches is standing better for the two girls, but that smaller one still has her legs splayed out, and weak. So DH and I decided to take shifts through the night, every 2 hours and make sure they both nurse. Mind you, at this point the other babies (6 others total) are all out with the herd and their warming barrel, and Peaches is penned up with her 2 babies. So... I checked at 10, got both babies to nurse, then went back at midnight. I find that Peaches SAT ON THE BIGGER GIRL AND KILLED HER!!!  So at this point I'm distraught, and I make a haphazard decision to pull Peaches out, put some other babies in the pen with the smaller doeling and would come out every 2 hrs and make sure Peaches nursed her, so that she couldn't smoosh the smaller one, because she would definitely not be able to get away.

Well, in doing so, I didn't realize that I pulled 2 of the triplets from doe #1. I did not pull the 3rd. So at the 3am feeding when DH goes out, he comes running in the house in a panic saying WHY DID YOU ONLY LOCK UP TWO OF THE THREE?? Sleepy and confused I wake up not knowing what the heck is going on. He goes on to tell me that he had the 3rd of the triplets who must have been looking for food or her brother and sister and ended up getting lost, and fell asleep in the middle of the barn. it was 20 degrees last night. When he found her she was about dead. He had her in his arms, I got dressed, and dunked her in a bath of hot water to get her temp up. He goes out to make sure everyone else nurses. So here we are, up at 3am (in bed at midnight), trying to get this girl's temp up. It's an hour later and she still doesn't seem to be doing very well. She warmed up some, so we gave her some nutri-drench, and some molasses, but she wouldn't suck. By this point its 4:30 am and we were getting up for the day in 30 min anyways. We decide to put her in the bathroom, door shut, wrapped in towels, and a space heater on her and said, well, if she lives she lives. Not much we could do at that point. She was on death's door step but wasn't going just yet. So at this point we go to bed. Of course, I can't sleep, neither can he, because we are about to lose our second keeper DOELING of the night... and we have to be up in 30 min.

So 30 min rolls by (5 am now), I go check on her. She's much better! Crying, has some strength in her legs (not enough to stand, but more than she had).. So I go make sure everyone nurses, milk the rest, then come back to check on her. She seems to have a slight suckle reflex so I get her momma on the milk stand, grab her, and try to get her latched on. She's not having it, momma wasnt having it, it was a fiasco. So I bring her back in. DH leaves for work. I had called off work by this point. I try to get back into bed (6:30 by now) to be up at 830 for another feeding, I realize she hasn't eaten since anywhere from midnight-3am... So I decide to tube feed her. I can't find our tube. So I run to town, get a tube, head back. By this point her head is cocked so far backward, the top of her head is resting between her shoulder blades. Then she starts kicking her legs. Almost seemed the last spasms before she died, but she didn't die.

At this point I'm so exhausted, I don't know what to do. So I call the vet (duh, probably should have done that before this point). Told the vet I don't want to spend a bunch of money to watch her die, so shoot it to me straight. If you don't think she will live, we wont do it. They suggested bringing her in, and evaluating her, then go from there. So I take her in. At this point her body temp has dropped again. Not flailing, not vocal, head still on her shoulder blades, looks like she's coming and going. I almost debated not going because there was no point. But I did it anyway.

Here's where we are at now. The vet temp'd her at 91*, and her glucose level was so low that it didn't even register. They suggested getting her on a dextrose iv drip and to keep her on the heating pad. That's all we can do for now. If she doesn't pick up with this, then maybe its something more and that maybe we should consider if we want to pursue. Right now, baby is at the vet, getting the iv. I should hear by this afternoon. We have decided that if she lives, she will stay inside for a while, become a bottle baby, and go from there.

I just wanna cry. One confirmed death by smothering last night, and one ALMOST death, which has become a current stressor on me, and I have to still go out every 2 hrs to make sure the new baby with the splayed legs gets fed. She got a dose of BoSe this morning, I'm hoping that helps, but ARRGHHHHH!!!!

I'm sorry, but with my current situation, I just needed to vent, and at this point, (I know most of us go through it at some point), I just want to throw in the towel and be done with it. I am exhausted, we are losing kids left and right (or so it feels like), we have to be out of town this weekend... I just don't know what to do. THIS SUCKS.


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## OllieAcres (Feb 12, 2016)

I am so sorry @newbiekat , any health problems with animals can be a stresser but losing babies is the worst. I am sending prayers your way. Just remember somethings are out of your control and you are doing the best you can and thats what matters. And don't blame yourself, accidents happen.

I hope the BoSe helps the kid, when I first read the part about the back legs, that was the first thing I thought. 

Stay strong and look to the small things that make having the goats worth it. I know a little how you feel. My one sheep has sore mouth and it feels like I have been dealing with it for ever and I just don't know what to do anymore. I had that throwing in the towel moment, I didn't sign up for dealing with illness. But my girls brighten my day and that makes it all worth it. 

It will pass and I am sure next go around the does will know more how to be good moms.  Stay Strong!!!


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## Poka_Doodle (Feb 12, 2016)

So sorry.


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## Bunnylady (Feb 12, 2016)

Aren't goats the animals that they say are born looking for a way to die?

I've had those spells when it seems like nothing goes right, and all you get for your trouble is heartbreak, frustration and discouragement. I'm sorry that's where you are at the moment; hoping things take a turn for the better for you soon!


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## BlessedWithGoats (Feb 12, 2016)

I'm sorry hun!  Hang in there... Praying for you.


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## Goatgirl47 (Feb 12, 2016)

I'm so sorry!  It's always so hard losing animals, especially the newborns.  

Praying for you, and the rest of your brood...


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## newbiekat (Feb 12, 2016)

OllieAcres said:


> Just remember somethings are out of your control and you are doing the best you can and thats what matters. And don't blame yourself, accidents happen.


I try to remember that, but I still have to deal with the issues!   But thank you I am trying to stay positive in it all and realize it is not all our faults. We cant control how they are as mothers, or how babies dont realize there is heat a few feet away... 



OllieAcres said:


> Stay strong and look to the small things that make having the goats worth it.


Absolutely. You are right. They are SO enjoyable every other time of the year when they aren't causing me grief, but I wouldn't enjoy them as much if I didn't experience the bad side of things too...



OllieAcres said:


> It will pass and I am sure next go around the does will know more how to be good moms.  Stay Strong!!!


I sure hope so! She's a great milker, I just hope she can raise babies too...


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## newbiekat (Feb 12, 2016)

Bunnylady said:


> Aren't goats the animals that they say are born looking for a way to die?


Yes! My husband has had to remind me that we can't save them all. It just hurts to lose them!



Bunnylady said:


> hoping things take a turn for the better for you soon!


Thank you... me too. And hopefully it's just around the bend!


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## mysunwolf (Feb 12, 2016)

I am so so sorry...  We just had a sheep birth triplets, and I was there for it. One survived but was weak, the other took one breath in this world and died, and the other died after about an hour of me warming him in the house. I almost threw in the towel and honestly still feel like I could any minute... but I guess if we just hang on long enough we'll find some good moments that keep us here doing this crazy livestock thing!


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## BlessedWithGoats (Feb 12, 2016)

I'm sorry @mysunwolf!


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## Goatgirl47 (Feb 12, 2016)

mysunwolf said:


> I am so so sorry...  We just had a sheep birth triplets, and I was there for it. One survived but was weak, the other took one breath in this world and died, and the other died after about an hour of me warming him in the house. I almost threw in the towel and honestly still feel like I could any minute... but I guess if we just hang on long enough we'll find some good moments that keep us here doing this crazy livestock thing!



I'm so sorry! At least the last little ewe survived (I saw her on your Facebook page - she's adorable!).


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## mysunwolf (Feb 12, 2016)

Goatgirl47 said:


> I'm so sorry! At least the last little ewe survived (I saw her on your Facebook page - she's adorable!).



Yep, focusing on the living babies always seems to make it better! @newbiekat, I really hope that everything goes okay with your remaining kids.


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## Hens and Roos (Feb 12, 2016)

sorry to hear about your loss , hope your little one gets better


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## OneFineAcre (Feb 12, 2016)

Hang in there
Hope things get better


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## Fullhousefarm (Feb 12, 2016)

Aw, I had a day like that in December. Delivered a stillborn doeling 36 hours after the doe had kidded with a buckling, then was up all night with a buckling that died at 7am. 

I had to call a goat mentor just to hear myself tell her there was nothing more I could have done and sometimes life just stinks!


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## newbiekat (Feb 12, 2016)

Update... Baby girl is home. Still weak, but they put quite a bit of Dextrose in her. She has been on a sugar high for most of the day. Vet said she would get up, and yell for a little while, then she'd be spent and take a nap again lol. She has the IV cath still in, and the vet gave me the dextrose to give to her if she starts to fall again. She hadn't nursed since she was at the vet, which meant she only got about 1 oz of milk (that I tube fed) around 9am. Before that she _might_ have nursed around midnight. So she is pretty thin right now. BUT I was able to get about 2 oz in her via bottle!! That's an exciting new thing! And I gave her about 10 ml of dextrose.

She is currently in a laundry basket, with a heating pad underneath her and two towels wrapped around her taking a nap. I was able to change my plans for the weekend, so now I can be home with the babies! Things are gonna BE OKAY.  I am speaking it into existence!      TWO OUNCES!! 

ETA: Vet made very clear that she is definitely NOT out of the woods just yet.


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## frustratedearthmother (Feb 12, 2016)

So glad you've got some good news!


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## babsbag (Feb 12, 2016)

Hope that she hangs in there for you. You have a had a rough go so some happy news is welcomed.


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## Hens and Roos (Feb 12, 2016)

that is good news!  Hang in there


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## Ferguson K (Feb 12, 2016)

She will be okay I just know it.


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## Latestarter (Feb 13, 2016)

<--for you @newbiekat So sorry about the lost one and I'm really pulling for this little one to make it through for you! You can only do what you can do, and she has to do her part! Glad things aren't looking quite so grim, understanding she's not out of the woods yet. Hang in there!

So sorry to hear of your losses also @mysunwolf  and @Fullhousefarm  guess it's that time of year... lots of joy and some sadness.


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## newbiekat (Feb 13, 2016)

Update #2...

Baby didn't make it.  I was up every 2 hours from when we got her home yesterday evening till this morning at 11. She had about 10 cc's of Dextrose every 4-6 hrs through her IV cath (depending on her status), but we only got that 2cc's through the bottle right at the beginning. After that, we had to tube her twice. once with 4cc's once with 2. She was a scrawny little thing through the night. At the 530am feeding she was looking pretty rough. Crashed again, temp dropped, lethargic, etc. We did all we could, but as @Latestarter said... 


Latestarter said:


> You can only do what you can do, and she has to do her part!


and she couldn't keep up...

Meanwhile, around 10 last night we find our herd queen (who has not been involved with any of this fiasco- minus losing the two bucks at birth), and best milker, laying out, not wanting to get up to nurse her baby, not wanting to get on the stand to be milked (when she's always the one pushing her way through)... She has a BAD case of Mastitis. We milked her out, and treated her with ToDay. 

This morning, around 9 we go out and check and she's in even worse shape than last night. Her temp had dropped to 94*. We gave her Pen G, Banamine, and B Complex, and then called the vet. We ended up bringing her in to the vet too. *The vet has seen and heard from us ALOT this last week*

They put her under a heat lamp, took some blood to run a CBC and chem, took a fecal, and put an IV of fluids in her. Her glucose level was pretty low also, so they ran some dextrose into her IV. So she is currently at the vet receiving fluids. We are waiting for results from the fecal and bloodwork. The vet thinks the Mastitis is worse than we thought and is spreading to the body?? She is also giving some antibiotic (in addition to the Pen G that we gave this morning).

While this is going on, we have to figure out how to get her doeling on a bottle while her mom is at the vet for who knows how long. This doeling who has been dam raised. We are hoping she will get hungry enough in a few hours that she will take it, but who knows. 

I am exhausted. I am ready for all of this to be over.


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## Latestarter (Feb 13, 2016)

On man... when it rains it pours... I'm kinda at a loss for words. Just so sorry you're going through all this.  Try to take care of yourself through all this as best you can.


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## Goat Whisperer (Feb 13, 2016)

Oh I am so sorry  My heart goes out to you 

With the Momma doe with the low temp, do you think she needs calcium? 

Hoping she pulls thru and everything calms down. We have all had those moments... If you can, wait until everything settles down and have gotten a good nights sleep and then make your choice.


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## ragdollcatlady (Feb 13, 2016)

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time! 

It is so hard to lose kids and to have your big girl in distress is really hard too. 

Hoping your queen comes around and that her kid decides to take a bottle for you.


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## alsea1 (Feb 13, 2016)

Gee whiz. You have been hit with the ugly stick of bad luck.
Sometimes raising livestock can be very rewarding and fun. Then there are the times that it just eats you up. I will pray that things turn around and the animals get better and you can get some sleep.


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## promiseacres (Feb 13, 2016)




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## BlessedWithGoats (Feb 13, 2016)

I'm so sorry!   I pray the momma makes it, and the baby takes a bottle!


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## babsbag (Feb 13, 2016)

What a ordeal you have been through. I am really sorry. With the does temp being low I would have suspected hypocalcemia but the vet should have found that out easily enough. The low temp would worry me more than the mastitis. I hope she makes it through this. I have had it take as many as three days for a kid to transition to a bottle. I have also had it happen immediately, each kid is different; but don't give up. When she gets hungry she will take that bottle.


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## newbiekat (Feb 15, 2016)

Update #3... 

Momma didn't make it. 

The vet called Saturday evening with the results. Fecal was good. No extreme bout of worms, but the bloodwork "surprised her". She said Cloud's red blood cell count was EXTREMELY low. Like, the low of lows for goats should be around 22%... she had 5%  and her neutrophil level was extremely low too. She was giving fluids for the dehydration, but said she was having a hard time balancing them because the more she gave to help with the dehydration, the more it diluted her already extremely low RBC levels, the more panting Cloud did and the faster her heart raced looking for oxygen... The vet said she thought the Mastitis (which was pretty aggressive) came on quickly due to the fact that her body could not fight off infection with the low amount of neutrophils in her body, and she also thought she was losing blood due to a hemorrhage, potentially in the uterus. Basically twisted gut from giving birth. She said the only other option would be a blood transfusion, but even with that it would only be a 50/50 shot. And if she does have the hemorrhage in her uterus, if the transfusion worked well enough long enough we could do surgery and remove her uterus, but again, that's IF she survived surgery. And the vet didn't have any goat blood on hand, so we would have to bring in one of our other mommas to do the transfusion... ETC ETC... So in the end, we decided to put her down, and buried her that evening.  

Her now orphaned doe kid would not take a bottle all day Saturday, but finally took one Sunday morning, and by Sunday evening she was looking for the bottle, so that's a relief that she finally took the bottle!

As for the baby with the wobbly legs, we gave her a 1/4cc of bose on Friday morning, and had been locking her in the pen, giving her access to momma every couple hours as we were afraid that she might be able to get a few steps outside of the barn but maybe not find her way back. As of Saturday we opened her up all the way and let her roam. On Saturday evening, I am pleased to announce that the little runt was hopping and bopping around just as good as the others!! Her hips seem much smaller, but then again, she was only 5.05 lbs at birth, and though her belly gets full every time she nurses, I dont know that she has grown a whole lot in the last couple days... Then again, I have week old BIG babies to compare her to, so I think she's doing just fine... WHAT A RELIEF! Saturday night into Sunday was the first time since Thursday that we didn't get up in the middle of the night to feed.  We left them a full 8 hours before going out to let everyone nurse, and I'm pleased to say that none of them died in the mean time. THANK GOD.  

So as of right now, we have 6 of our original 10 babies still, 3 of which are bucklings and will be sold. The other 3 were potential keeps, but with the recent events, I believe we will be keeping all of them.

This has been probably the WORST week of goat keeping ever.  Hopefully all of these terrible "learning" adventures are OVER. I don't know what I would do if I had a bigger herd and that happened to a larger number of goats. It just breaks my heart!

I am so thankful for all of you and your support... 

I will post pictures as soon as I can. They are on my phone and I'll try to get them uploaded soon.


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## Hens and Roos (Feb 15, 2016)

so sorry about Cloud  , glad to hear her doeling is taking a bottle for you and glad that the other kid is getting better!


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## Latestarter (Feb 15, 2016)

What a tough week you've been through! So sorry for your losses. I'm glad the other kids are doing well, and that you were able to get a little sleep. Hopefully things will be better from here on out.


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## BlessedWithGoats (Feb 15, 2016)

I'm so sorry Cloud didn't make it!!   That's gotta be hard...
Glad the babies are doing well!
Take care of yourself!


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## Goat Whisperer (Feb 15, 2016)

So sorry about Cloud. 

Glad the remaining kids are doing good 


Hope you are able to get some rest soon.


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## Mini Horses (Feb 15, 2016)

Many of us have been "down that road".   Do not give up yet.  Nurture those left and hug them daily because the love you feel is why you will keep them.

I am so sorry for the losses and so happy for the little doelings you have in your care -- they will always be special for you.  They will understand your tears.


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## norseofcourse (Feb 15, 2016)

I can't imagine how emotionally draining all of this has been... I am so glad you are still hanging in there and finally having some things going well.


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## Goat Whisperer (Feb 16, 2016)

Hoping today is a better day


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## newbiekat (Feb 17, 2016)

Well guys, I am glad to say nothing exciting has happened in our lives in the past few days! Everyone is doing well, baby has finally latched onto the bottle and looks for it now, baby with the back leg problems is doing great, gets up and around just fine, she's just TINY!

Now.. Maybe you guys can help me with names... I need a knockoff of Cloud's name for her daughter. I thought of Sunshine (Sunny for short), but DH doesn't like it.... Pictures uploading now


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## babsbag (Feb 17, 2016)

How about Rainbow, she is the promise and the hope after the storm.


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## newbiekat (Feb 17, 2016)

Is there a way I can edit pictures when they're uploaded? They are uploading upside down.


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## babsbag (Feb 17, 2016)

A lot of people have problems with posting picture, we are all used to it, we just turn our computer or our head, it all works.


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## babsbag (Feb 17, 2016)

Ahhh, you have spots.   I had spotted Boers for a few years...I miss those colors. Alpines are boring...but not as bad as Saanens.  

Cute kids.


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## Blue Sky (Feb 17, 2016)

They are beautiful. We have all lost babies and questioned ourselves. Remember the good days and the extraordinary days and know there are more ahead. Learn as much as you can from your losses and know that there are people here to help you. Also take care of yourself and your spouse.


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## newbiekat (Feb 18, 2016)

Cloud, hooked up to the IV at the vet...



 set of twin boys



 poor baby that didn't make it 



 the little one with the leg issues



 splashy buckling



 another buckling



 buckling



 keeper doeling



 Cloud's orphaned doeling



 
Last pic we took of cloud before we loaded her up for the vet...


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## babsbag (Feb 18, 2016)

Nice looking kid crop.  Looking at the doeling laying on Cloud brought tears to my eyes. These animals are just so bonded, it always makes me smile to see them together even years down the road; the family unit just seems to stay together. Glad the little one has you to love on her.


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## Goatgirl47 (Feb 18, 2016)

I'm so sorry about Cloud!  

Your kids are beautiful! I especially love the spots...


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## Goat Whisperer (Feb 18, 2016)

Love the baby pics, so adorable 

Hard to look at the pic of Cloud, breaks my heart that you lost her it's awful to loose a kid... But losing a doe is even harder. I'm glad you have her kid.


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## Latestarter (Feb 18, 2016)

Thanks very much for sharing  Terribly sorry once again that you lost Cloud and the kid. I hope the little one with leg issues rights itself. They're sweet looking kids. I like the spots on your keeper


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## goats&moregoats (Mar 7, 2016)

Hoping the little ones help heal your broken heart. Loss is so hard no matter what. They all seem to worm their way right straight to our hearts. Wishing you the best from this point. Also prayers for the little one with leg issues.


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