# I need help.... cow tension!



## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

ok sooooooooooo......... heehehehehehe um like my cows wont mate with eachother..... and i really want some baby cows..... so like do you guys have any tips to help them get in the baby makin mood


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

totally. candles. and some soap. and privacy.


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

um would it be a problem if theyre brother and sister?


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

i dont think so.


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

alright!
should i marry them first?
im afraid the other couples would look down on them if they just popped out a baby


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

i skipped the marriage part once, and the cows ended up getting killed. where do you live? if you live near Creaton, Minnesota, there is a cow chappel in the north part of town, next to the Bait Shop. The chappel's called I Moo.


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

oh horay!
alright are there any specifications to marry the cows?
i live in minnisota also.
i have a lovely waterfall by which they could have the reception
....around how much do these weddings cost?
if possible i would love to have one with a gypsy theme


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

yes, this chappel has a gypsy theme available. i know i did the star trek theme, and i think it was about 800. and i love the waterfall idea!


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

alright.
now can i ask a question about the pastor...
the bride is just a little judgmental....
no touching... is that alright?


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

hmmmmm. that reminds me, the pastor is a little strange. i had a friend go there once, and he said that he took her cow into the storage room to find a milk bucket, and that the cow didnt come out the same. i dont think i noticed anything different about my cows. i use that chappel all the time, i find it very convenient.


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

could we possibly find our own pastor... the cows really have a thing goin with veagans


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

you could if you wanted, but this pastor is a vegan. but i think the organ player eats meat, so i dont know if your cows will mind that. and what are your plans for the hospital when the calf comes?


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

well.... we were actualllly planning on having a doctor biologically have the mother have sextuplets (like kate plus 8).... they have a real obsession with veil.... weird huh?


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

thatd be so cool! whose your doctor? i might want to get ahold of him, and have that done to one of my cows.


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

um....
actually i need to tell you something ...
i have huge feeliings for the groom
should i tell him.... ive been holding them in for so long


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

no! thatll completely ruin his feelings for the cow, and you wont get a baby. unless of course, the cow has an affair


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

well i was planning on finding a surrogate mother


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

oh okay okay. maybe you should divide the octopulets into like 2 mothers. ya know?


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

great idea


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

so 8 calves. are you gonna bottle feed them all?


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

well actually i was thinking of having them stuffed... that way theylll be my friends without ever having to leave me


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

really? you should first mate 2 of the males with their surragate moms, dontcha think?


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

good idea. i shall do that...


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

then you should butcher the surragote moms, the moment after their calves are born, then put them on the original cow we were talking about


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## aggieterpkatie (Jul 13, 2011)

So lemme guess....it's summertime and the kiddies are bored?


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

yes yes yes! i am quite excited!


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

good! so we got that all figured out! now i need some help with me llama problem, it gave one of my ewes stds. what do i do now


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

hehehe! all my cows have stds. if all of them have it its not really a problem.... maybe uh... chicken soup?


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

okay, chicken soup, i also suspect the llama got the sheep pregnant. that could be trouble... especially since the llama is in a civil union with his also male partner.


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

oh it should be fine as long as you dont allow it to pick up its fathers traits my cockatoos father was the reincarnation of charles manson... AND HES TOTALLY SANE!


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

okay, charles manson was my surrogate mother. he was that guy who got pregnant, and the world was astonished


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

wow! no way! teehee! where is he now?
its really tramatic for you babies to grow up without a murdering father


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

not really, because then i was adopted by my lesbian parents, Gertrude and Isis. They used to be gypsies along the silk road. Now the own a succesful holiday pencil business.


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

ewwwwwww are they the pencils that smell of grape?
     i absolutely love! those! i just wanna marry um. but... thatd be a little weird


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

they are!!! isis is also is a therapist. so if you ever need mental help, SHELL BE THERE!


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

terrific! ill have to get her card! ive been going to this guy whos office is under a bridge! this will be a great change!


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

a therapist under a bridge? NO! DONT GO THERE! THATS MY DAD, CHARLES MASON! GET AWAY! NOW!


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

oh no! thank you so much i was almost sure that he was gunna invite me over for thanksgiving..... unless you want me to be your new mummy


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

oh wait. did the guy under the bridge have a mustache that whispers "im a bad person?"


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

yeah.... i thought maybe i could change him... but trust me that never works


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

yeah thats definately charles. dont let him rape/murder you


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

alright.... he has about 17 pairs of my socks... is that gunna turn out bad for me?


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

bad? youll be dead by 3 today!!


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

will my training in bubble burping help me any!?!  WHATS HIS WEAKNESS!!!!


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

confetti and towels. for some reason it reminds him of guantamano bay.


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

ohyeah!!!! i have all of those things in my pocket right now! the confetti for my need to party! ...and the towel for my tears


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## farmchick (Jul 13, 2011)

gotta go, oprah's here! were having our book club meeting, discussing the book Bebe. and then afterwards, well go to walmart, and play in the clearance aisles.


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## ihaveacow (Jul 13, 2011)

alright its been fun... until we meet again?... im kidding. dont leave me! ill die without someone to talk to!


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## Royd Wood (Jul 13, 2011)

Oh just love it
Whens part two due out


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