# It's that time of year again...Doe code of honor



## Roll farms (Dec 3, 2010)

The Kidding Doe's Code of Honor

1.  No kid shall be born until total chaos has been reached by all 
involved. Your owner's house must be a wreck, their family hungry, 
and desperate for clean clothes, and their social life nonexistent.

2.  "Midwives" must reach the babbling fool status before you kid out. 
Bloodshot eyes, tangled hair and the inability to form a sentence 
means the time is getting close.

3.  For every bell, beeper, camera, or whistle they attach to you, 
kidding must be delayed by at least one day for each item. If they 
use an audio monitor, one good yell per hour will keep things interesting.

4.  If you hear the words, "She's no where near ready. She'll be fine 
while we're away for the weekend."  Wait until they load the car, and 
then begin pushing!

5.  Owner stress must be at an all time high! If you are in the care 
of someone else, ten to fifteen phone calls a day is a sign you're 
getting close.

6.  When you hear the words, "I can't take it anymore!" wait at least 
three more days.

7.  You must keep this waiting game interesting. False alarms are 
mandatory! Little teasers such as looking at your stomach, pushing 
your food around, and then walking away from it, and nesting are 
always good for a rise.

8.  The honor of all goats is now in your hands. Use this time to 
avenge all of your barn mates. Think about your friend who had to 
wear that silly costume in front of those people. Hang onto that baby 
for another day. Oh, they made him do tricks too! Three more days 
seems fair. Late feedings, the dreaded diet, bad haircuts, those 
awful wormings can also be avenged at this time.

9. If you have fulfilled all of the above and are still not sure when 
to have the kids, listen to the weather forecast on the radio that 
has been so generously provided by those who wait. Severe Storm 
warning is what you're waiting for. In the heart of the storm jump 
into action! You have a good chance of those who wait missing the 
whole thing while searching for a flashlight that works!

10. Make the most of your interrupted nights. Beg for food each time 
someone comes into the barn to check you. Your barn mates will love 
you as the extra goodies fall their way too.  Remember this code of 
honor was designed to remind man of how truly special goats are.  Do 
your best to reward those who wait with a beautiful doeling to carry 
on the Doe Code of Honor for the next generation of those who wait.


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## ()relics (Dec 3, 2010)

Supposed to get some snow tonight and its really cold....sounds like kidding weather to me...Good Luck, glad I only have 2 left, both in the barn already, until  the next group due in March.


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## SDGsoap&dairy (Dec 3, 2010)

That never gets old!!


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## lilhill (Dec 3, 2010)

Goat owners (and potential goat owners) should have that Code memorized - the goats do.


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## glenolam (Dec 3, 2010)

Got to say I WILL NOT be putting that on the goat wall, even though I prolly don't need to!


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## KellyHM (Dec 3, 2010)

#4 applied last year...BOTH my girls had their kids while I was out of town for the weekend.    I bought them bred and it was my first time with kids, so I didn't know how close they were.


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## SDGsoap&dairy (Dec 3, 2010)

Earlier this summer I was out of town for a few days and my caring, responsible, and totally-clueless-about-goats husband was home alone.  One of my does had been gearing up and I swear the morning I left I went out to check on her and she SMIRKED at me.  I swear it.  The next day after I had flown 3,000 miles away my husband sends me a text- "Sam had her baby!!"    Everything worked out fine, but sheesh!


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## jodief100 (Dec 3, 2010)

I am not letting the goats know I am leaving town in a few weeks.  My hard working and wonderful hubby will be home but he is clueless about the details.  

Our system is: I tell him which one to catch and he holds on untill I am done.  I tell him who gets fed what and how much and he takes care of it.  I tell him who goes in what pen and when and he makes it so.  I could never do this with out him 

Works great until I have to leave.


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## Emmetts Dairy (Dec 3, 2010)

AMEN!!!!!!     

Im wired too, when the time coming with cell phone, monitors etc...I look like a CIA agent taking over a small country!!! LOL  

Great Post!!!


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## freemotion (Dec 3, 2010)

You forgot #11:  Be sure to get that kid coming out sideways if you really need to avenge yourself or your herdmates.  Or just because.


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## helmstead (Dec 3, 2010)




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## ksj0225 (Dec 3, 2010)

wrong thread


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## jodief100 (Dec 3, 2010)

Add to #10:

But only ONE doeling during your lifetime- the rest should all be boys.  

#12:  Wait for the lights and heat lamps in the barn to go out- it is always better to kid during a power outage.  Barring this, try for an ice storm.  

#13:  When someone comes to check on one of your herdmates, jump on them and knock the flashlight out of thier hand.  Then make them drop all the kidding supplies.  Done perfectly, your owner will be crawling around on the barn floor, in the dark.  Then all goats need to climb on them looking for treats in thier pockets.  Take this opportunity to pee, in thier shoe if possible.


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## warthog (Dec 3, 2010)




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## Roll farms (Dec 3, 2010)

For the record, folks, I didn't write this, I found it years ago....But....I  swear my goats wrote it, got it published, and spread the word to your herds.


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## Calliopia (Dec 3, 2010)

My older doe is currently in the process of demonstrating nearly EVERY one of these rules.


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## chubbydog811 (Dec 3, 2010)

You know, I don't think my goats have gotten wind of this yet...They usually kid the day I think they are going to kid (when they are actually pregnant that is hehe)...

Seriously, you guys should keep this to yourselves!!


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## Roll farms (Dec 3, 2010)

Uh huh...If I must suffer, you ALL must suffer w/ me. 

I'm a giver that way.


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## freemotion (Dec 3, 2010)

Goats are notorious liars.


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## rebelINny (Dec 3, 2010)

Boy it sounds like I am in for it this time. Last year all my does kidded right about when I had them down as due and all during the day when I was home. I only had four bucks out of 16 kids. Was a perfect kidding season..............what to expect this year? I just don't know.


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## BorderKelpie (Dec 4, 2010)

I want to know which one of your goats translated this and gave it to my dogs. 

Maybe it has something to do with them being herding dogs.........?

Too cute (and true) I love it.


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## Roll farms (Dec 4, 2010)

I would suspect Penny.  She's the smart one.


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## Bryannjamie (Dec 4, 2010)

Our last kid didnt come until July.  We were so excited, in and out of the barns.  We fed the animals one day and had to run out.  When I got back the neighbor said cute baby goat!!  I said what?  where?
Already standing and all cleaned off.  She heard me start the truck and started to push, I just know it.

We call him Ghost LOL


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## mossyStone (Dec 4, 2010)

I have a hand printed copy of that hanging near my birthing stall and every yr i curse it LOL



Mossy Stone Farm


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## poorboys (Dec 4, 2010)

just got all the stalls ready,!!! feed buckets, water pails, hay racks, now to get straw and wait till january!!! then I'm with the code


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## freemotion (Dec 4, 2010)

poorboys said:
			
		

> just got all the stalls ready,!!! feed buckets, water pails, hay racks, now to get straw and wait till january!!! then I'm with the code


Are you nuts?  You are all ready?  Now it will be March before you have kids!


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## goodgirlmolly (Dec 5, 2010)

Roll farms said:
			
		

> The Kidding Doe's Code of Honor
> 
> 1.  No kid shall be born until total chaos has been reached by all
> involved. Your owner's house must be a wreck, their family hungry,
> ...


That was laugh out loud funny!!!!!


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## lilhill (Dec 5, 2010)

Funny?????  Just wait until your does put it to work and it doesn't seem as funny anymore.  And believe me, they really do know every detail of that Code and how to apply it.


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## poorboys (Dec 5, 2010)

yes I might be nuts!!!! but I'm having surgery and won't be able to lift or use left arm for 2 to 4 weeks, I had to get things ready, the straw won't be put down till birthing time, and I'm hoping the girls get the job done, without little assistance from me:


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## Roll farms (Dec 5, 2010)

I thought of another one mine seem to like.

"If you notice she's low on towels and has no additional help w/ her, have 1 or two extra kids.  It's fun to watch her try to find a clean spot on a towel that's already been used on 2 kids, give up and use her own coat.... and then watch her try to carry 4 wet, slippery newborns up the hill in the dark, on ice.  
It's ok to do this, you *know* she'd never actually fall and hurt your children, she'd break her own fool neck first."


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## SDGsoap&dairy (Dec 5, 2010)

Roll farms said:
			
		

> I thought of another one mine seem to like.
> 
> "If you notice she's low on towels and has no additional help w/ her, have 1 or two extra kids.  It's fun to watch her try to find a clean spot on a towel that's already been used on 2 kids, give up and use her own coat.... and then watch her try to carry 4 wet, slippery newborns up the hill in the dark, on ice.
> It's ok to do this, you *know* she'd never actually fall and hurt your children, she'd break her own fool neck first."


Thanks for the tip!  I won't be packing ANY extra towels in the kit this time.


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## helmstead (Dec 5, 2010)

n.smithurmond said:
			
		

> Thanks for the tip!  I won't be packing ANY extra towels in the kit this time.


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## Iwantgoats (Dec 8, 2010)

all the things I have to look forward too for my first kidding season.  At least I'm not going away.......

 thanks for bursting my bubble of heavenly joy for the blessed event.


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## KellyHM (Dec 8, 2010)

Roll farms said:
			
		

> I thought of another one mine seem to like.
> 
> "If you notice she's low on towels and has no additional help w/ her, have 1 or two extra kids.  It's fun to watch her try to find a clean spot on a towel that's already been used on 2 kids, give up and use her own coat.... and then watch her try to carry 4 wet, slippery newborns up the hill in the dark, on ice.
> It's ok to do this, you *know* she'd never actually fall and hurt your children, she'd break her own fool neck first."


  Great mental image!


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## sammileah (Dec 11, 2010)

so if my goldie follows the code i'll have a kid in the middle of the night tonight.  we have a blizzard warning going, single digit temps, barn door latch broke so all the nice clean dry bedding i put down yesterday is wet and frozen.    oh  my hubby is gone all day and my oldest has laid claim to the kid, well he isn't here this weekend.   
but wait i'm expecting it so 3 more days.


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## lilhill (Dec 11, 2010)

sammileah said:
			
		

> so if my goldie follows the code i'll have a kid in the middle of the night tonight.  we have a blizzard warning going, single digit temps, barn door latch broke so all the nice clean dry bedding i put down yesterday is wet and frozen.    oh  my hubby is gone all day and my oldest has laid claim to the kid, well he isn't here this weekend.
> but wait i'm expecting it so 3 more days.


Afraid so because she'll want you to walk to the barn in the blizzard several times day and night to check to see if she's ready.  When you are totally exhausted from all the checks, that's when she'll start pushing.


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## greenfamilyfarms (Dec 29, 2010)

I. am. so. there.


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## Roll farms (Dec 29, 2010)

Didja notice how I didn't post A WORD until I knew someone was IN LABOR???

I figured if I talked about it in advance, they'd catch on, cross their legs, and keep the kids in for 6 mos, just for giggles.

Pregnant goats are the devil to an impatient person, ain't they just???


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## poorboys (Dec 29, 2010)

Just brought the first one into stall, she's huge!!!!! I'm the type that you get so into it I forget how freggin cold it is and run back and forth without a coat, or take it off while waiting, the anticpation kills me!!!!!!


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## greenfamilyfarms (Dec 29, 2010)

So, we have officially entered the "crazy person" stage. I just have to go out and check on all of them at least every couple of hours and during that time I just find myself standing there staring at them while they give me that "whatcha lookin' at" face and going about their business.

My house is a mess. Christmas wrapping paper is still shoved behind the tree, clothes (folded, mind you) are stacked all over the couch, and my new Jeep still has salt all over it from the snow. Dirty dishes are stacked by the sink.

I haven't worn any makeup in 4 days. My 16-year-old brother finally broke the news to me yesterday that I looked rough. Thanks. roll

Plus, I have curly red hair. Guess what that looks like after you have put a hat on a few dozen times throughout the day on the way out the door.

And all I can do is think about baby goats. Lord help us.


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## WhiteWaterFarms (Nov 26, 2011)

Add this to the list for before time to kid. 

When your human is feeling your udder or ligaments let out a nice smelly fart when they are closet to your butt.

oh and...

Later when they are there for the birth,if they are there, fart all you can until the room is nice and smelly and the human is gagging.


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## Fluffygal (Nov 28, 2011)

WhiteWaterFarms said:
			
		

> Add this to the list for before time to kid.
> 
> When your human is feeling your udder or ligaments let out a nice smelly fart when they are closet to your butt.
> 
> ...




this had me giggling out loud


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## MyKidLuvsGreenEgz (Nov 28, 2011)

I have 2 girls overdue, living in my garage during nights and bad weather days. Picture me, with a bad leg, hobbling them from the garage to the outdoor pen in the mornings and back again at dusk. The ligaments have been loose and the bags have been full for days now. Were supposed to kid the day before Thanksgiving and here it is 5 days later with Hubby back at work. My (autistic) teen might help but since he's totally grossed out by anything slimy, I doubt it. They really do wait for me to come right up before letting go of wind (both ends!). 

Need to drive the 35 minutes to town tomorrow to renew handicapped parking thingy. I'm sure they'll kid then.

Love this thread. Glad someone revived it.


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## SmallFarmGirl (Nov 28, 2011)

I JUST LLLLOOOOOVVVVEEEE THIS !!!


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