# frustrated farm mama



## issy (Mar 10, 2014)

Sorry for venting here, but I really don't have anyone else to talk to about this, I have no farm-friendly friends, and my mate just thinks I'm over reacting.
If you talked to me just two or three years ago and told me I'd be living on a farm, if have laughed in your face. But when my mate got out of the army and we started looking for a home,  he said he wanted room for a garden. Then it was chickens (I have always been deathly afraid of chickens after an unfortunate run in with a neighbor's rooster when I was a kid), and he managed to convince me to get some baby chicks, not so scary when you hand raise them. And he slowly kept introducing me (a girl that has always been terrified of animals) to new animals. Now, we have 6 goat does and a buck (two in milk!), a sheep, two doe and a buck rabbits, three turkeys, a duck, fifteen chickens, two cats, a dog, and a pair of toddlers. 
I love...most of them (still a bit uneasy about the turkeys), and spend hours each day Just playing with them or watching them. Especially the goats and rabbits. 
My family and friends, while not mean, are constantly making jokes about me (and my mate) being incapable or incompetent when it comes to farming, like they see us as a modern version of green acres, something to be mocked, not taken seriously.
It's serious to me. These animals are important to me, the idea of raising them in a happy, healthy environment isimportant, providing my kids with the opportunity to learn where their food comes from and to provide my family with what it needs to be happy andhealthy is important to me. And so, for the most part, I shrug off their comments, and just do my thing.
But this last month or so, I've been getting very discouraged. The male rabbit? Yeah, the expression "breeding like rabbits" is lost on him, he deliberately mounts the wrong end, even with me holding the doe in theappropriate position, he makes sa point of going around me to mount her face. So, no baby bunnies for us. Tried using a friend's buck. Well, thought it took, but now, looks like maybe not. These were not free bunnies, we spent a decent amount of money on these guys.
We bought our goat buck from a breeder. He has papers, she showed us all these baby goats that are his off spring. He barely has to enter the pen, and all the does are pregnant, she said. Yeah, but we bred him to our doe and our neighbors two does, all in standing heat. Not one pregnancy.  
We bought three turkeys, supposed to be one Tom and two hens. Nope, two toms. We had a drake and two hen ducks, the drake got picked off by a raccoon and NOW the hen is going broody. 
Fifteen chickens and we get three eggs a day on a good day. And now? My two milk goats, my pride and joy purchase? They ripped my head stall down and just lay down on the milking stand. When I can milk, I get a quart between the pair, when the woman I bought them from said she got at least three quarts each! And I have found that my kid goats are falling Houdini's! We have one that ALWAYS ends up with her mama before I can milk. 
Just ughh!! Argh!! And grr!!
It just feels like it's all failing, and pointless. And, of course, this leads to still more irritating comments from the peanut gallery, and my mate is frustratingly optimistic that it'll get better soon. Ugh. Just feeling really down about the lack of success in anything


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## SA Farm (Mar 10, 2014)

I'm sorry you're having difficulties and that your family is making it worse. It does get better!


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## frustratedearthmother (Mar 10, 2014)

I'm so sorry you're going through hard farm times right now, but I gotta warn you - we all have times like that!  There will be times when you wonder why the heck you're doing this.  It's hard work.  It's time consuming. Folks don't understand.  There are other times when it's all you want in life!

Is your rabbit buck young?  I haven't raised rabbits in a very long time, but it seems that some of them are just dumb, lol.  Are your does experienced enough to 'help' him?  Maybe try NOT holding the doe - he could just be trying to avoid you and going to the other end - or he could just be dumb, lol!

Goat buck not getting the job done....hmmmm.  What time of year were you trying the breedings?  I've been raising goats for a long time and have rarely seen an infertile buck  but some do have more succes than others for sure.  

Two toms and a hen?  Turkey tastes good!  

Fifteen hens and three eggs a day?  Are they playing hide and seek with the eggs?  Don't feel too bad though because I probably have 40-50 hens and for about 6 weeks (molting season and dark, sunless days of winter) I got ZERO eggs...zero...sigh. I was buying feed for the slacker chickens and buying eggs for my family. Talk about depressing! But - now they've done a complete turn around and I've got more eggs than I can use or sell. Dogs are eating good! Are you feeding them a good high protein layer diet?  Free range is my goal, but this time of year at my place there's not enough forage to feed themselves.   

How long before the hen went broody did the drake get killed?  When I lost my only Lavender Orpington roo, I collected every egg that the hens laid for the next couple of weeks and incubated them.  I got a great hatch and several good replacement roos.  Maybe duck hens can store sperm like chickens can?  It might be possible that some of the eggs are fertile if he hasn't been gone too long???

Milking does (or any other goat) don't like change in their routine.    All I can say is patience is key...and it's hard when they're sticking their feet in the bucket, laying down, squalling like they're dying and just generally being a PIA!  I had one doe that tried that on me and I'd take the feed away from her until she got up...it would take some serious time before she'd figure out that she doesn't get to relax and eat on the stand if she's laying down.  If she got up - she got feed.  If she jumped around I would keep my hand on her udder until she stopped.  Eventually they got the idea that the milk stand was a good place...but some of them can drive you crazy in the interim.  I would guess that the reason you're not getting much milk is that they're not relaxing enough to 'let down' their milk.   Milking can be the biggest challenge or the biggest reward with goats.  Fingers crossed that your girls will figure it out. 

Take a deep breath and remember that spring is coming!  It's the most wonderful time on the farm in my opinion.  Every winter I ask myself why I do this and every spring I get the answer!  

You've taken on a lot and there's a huge learning curve here - but one day it'll all fall into place!  Good luck to you!


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## Womwotai (Mar 10, 2014)

Wow - I'm so sorry - it sounds as though you are having a time of it 

I hope this advice isn't a little too late but here goes…..when DH and I moved to our homestead, I was given one piece of advice that has stuck with me: "Don't add more than one new thing a year".  And, though after the limitations of living on a suburban block were lifted and I was ready to jump gung-ho into our new life, we followed that advice and I'm so glad we did.  The reasoning is that in order to really accomplish anything, it takes time to learn it - and learn it well.  There are almost always trials and tribulations when adding a new type of livestock and it takes time to get it all figured out.  Taking it slowly and adding only one new thing each year allows you the time to maintain the things you have already been doing PLUS do the necessary research to learn the new thing.  If you don't take the time to learn anything thoroughly, you wind up feeling overwhelmed and ultimately toss in the towel, feeling it is "just too much". 

We kept chickens in our suburban backyard.  So when we moved to our homestead, we had to build a new chicken coop and we made it large enough to add turkeys and ducks.  That combined with moving was enough for the first year.  The next year we tilled a large veggie garden which was new to the homestead but veggie gardening was not new to us so I didn't consider it totally new.  So our new thing the second year was to add sheep and goats. 

Sheep and goats come with a whole new set of things to learn: nutrition, hoof trimming, worming, vaccinations, breeding, shearing (and we're not even milking ours!).

As you are finding out, even something as simple as ducks and turkeys can throw you some curve balls - and you are also trying to breed rabbits and milk goats as well!  I can certainly believe it feels overwhelming.

May I suggest that you back off from a few of these projects for a bit?  The goats are in milk so will need to continue to be milked.  What about if you forget about breeding rabbits for the time being.  The loss of the drake is unfortunate but if it wasn't too long ago, the duck eggs may still be fertile, so it may not be the end of the world to have a broody duck!  And, as a PP said, turkeys are edible.  Perhaps choose the one who has the best type and/or personality and butcher the other.  That will give you one less thing to worry about (if they haven't started yet, tom turkeys fight ferociously during breeding season so you will need to separate them one way or another). 

However you do it, reducing the number of pans in the fire will help you to a) stop feeling so overwhelmed and b) learn the things you are doing well enough that the teasers can't fail to be impressed with you.


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## Bossroo (Mar 10, 2014)

I would HIGHLY recommend that you pull in your horns as Womwotai suggested and concentrate on  one or two until you are satisfied with the results. Successful farmers that depend on their livelyhood   concentrate on one or possibly 2 types of livestock.  Severely cull ( sell or freezer camp) any animals that does not meet your needs now ( you can add that type of animal later). Then before you add another animal ... first and foremost seek out as much PROFESSIONAL ( not some backyard operator) advice as you can to educate yourself on the ins and outs of the animals involved then provide proper housing, equipment, pasture fencing, soil and crop management  and proper nutrition  that is required for good husbandry.  Then and only then slowly add in a new animal or plant.  Good luck for a successful mini farm venture !


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## bcnewe2 (Mar 11, 2014)

So Sorry your family is picking on you. You will get the last laugh as you are living your dream.
Give all your animals time.  They will sort themselves out. Don't try so hard. If the kids get back to the moms don't worry, just work on your fencing.  If you lost your rooster, just enjoy eating the eggs for now and maybe a new rooster as it warms up.  The chickens will lay more as the days get longer. I only have 6 chickens and got hardly any eggs all winter. Just yesterday I got 5 eggs in a day. So it's going to happen soon.

Don't give up. don't look at the bad. Look at the good.  You have a wonderful little farm to enjoy and that is all that matters. The rest will fall into place if you don't worry so much.
I don't know how they do goats but can't you leave the billy in with the nannies for a while so if they doesn't catch the first time he has other chances?
Good luck and go hug some animals.  They do make us feel better.


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## BrownSheep (Mar 11, 2014)

Sometimes things just don't work like you want them to.

Our first ever lamb died. Ours lambs for several years were tiny little dwarves....seriously imagine personal sized legs of lamb.  We finally are getting larger babies two years after adding in a new ram.

My chicken at the peak of 60+ only laid 5-8 eggs where I could find them. I now have only 9 hens and am getting about the same!

The first time I raised turkey poults 90% of them died. The second time my favorite lost half his beak to chukars. It is still deformed. As to being afraid about mean turkeys I was told, and it's been my experience, that turkeys will treat you like you treat them. Mine are social birds and like to hang out around people. They don't like to be picked up but will tolerate it well when I do.

Just remember sometime things are hard in order to lead you towards better things....Then again sometimes things are hard just to show you how easy you had it before.


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## jodief100 (Mar 11, 2014)

You have gotten some good advise here I don't think I can add much. Just slow down and take things one day at a time.  I can't tell you how many times I have ended the day bawling my head off because things aren't going right.  Then the baby goats run and bounce around and it all seems worth it again. 

As for your family, ignore them.  Someone once asked me if I was concerned people would think I was crazy for starting a farm.  I thought about it and realized, living my life the way I want to isn't crazy. Not living my life the way I want to because I am worried about what other people think is crazy.


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## Mike CHS (Mar 11, 2014)

Sometimes our


jodief100 said:


> As for your family, ignore them.  Someone once asked me if I was concerned people would think I was crazy for starting a farm.  I thought about it and realized, living my life the way I want to isn't crazy. Not living my life the way I want to because I am worried about what other people think is crazy.


 

 All good advice ..... I really like what jodief wrote.  They can only make fun of things you tell them about so I for one would not give them any more ammo to play with.  At some point they should realize that what they are doing is hurtful.


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## Hens and Roos (Mar 11, 2014)

Hang in there


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