# What I have learned having goats.



## terrilhb (Oct 28, 2011)

Thought this could be a fun topic.  So what have I learned. Let me tell you.
When I think I have figured them out I have not. 
Don't wear sandles around them.
Beware of the horns. 
They want to do what they want to do.
Does are more gentle than Bucks.
Bucks like the smell of ciggeratte smoke. (It excites my one buck) 
They love to eat your clothes. 
They are smarter than people give them credit for. They can escape anything if they want to bad enough.
Bucks are very protective of their owners. (My one buck Tack gets very upset if anyone he does not know comes near me.) 
Can't wait to see what others have.


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## Queen Mum (Oct 28, 2011)

You can swear, up down and sideways that you will NEVER EVER have a farm animal in your house, and then your doe will give birth to a kid in distress and all those promises will go RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW!

You will swear that you will never treat a farm animal like a pet.  You are just too tough for that.  Then you buy a goat or maybe two and they grow on you and suddenly you find yourself talking to them and confiding in them.  

One of your Goats will aggravate the daylights out of you and just when you are ready to send her to freezer camp, she will do something so endearing that you have to think for a LONG LONG Time about it.  

People are smarter than goats most of the time, but you have to think like a goat to outsmart them.  

Goats laugh at you behind your back.


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## currycomb (Oct 28, 2011)

so thats what they are doing when my back is turned, laughing at me. thats okay, i laugh at them to their faces.


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## terrilhb (Oct 28, 2011)




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## DonnaBelle (Oct 28, 2011)

They're favorite place to walk is in FRONT OF YOU when you are going someplace with them.

They will never eat their own feed if they can reach their neighbor's feeder.

When they are not getting attention if other goats are around they will nibble at your shirttail as if to say:  MY TURN!!!!

DonnaBelle


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## redtailgal (Oct 28, 2011)

I have learned that it is very amusing to watch me come running to the barn to protect them from scary things, like rabbits snakes and squirrels.

I have learned that to Socrates the world looks much cooler upside down.

I have learned that the most tasty part of the hay bale is right smack dab in the middle.


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## Squirrelgirl88 (Oct 28, 2011)

1. Never kiss a baby goat on the head that has been eating posion ivy. 

2. Tattoo ink comes off, and not everyone will tell you your nose is green.

3. ANY flat surface is a good place for a goat to Jump.

4. Never bend over in a goat pen - see number 3 - Hooves on your back hurt!

5. Goats can climb step ladders.

6. Goats can climb trees.

7. Baby goats will refuse to try new foods, but will steal sour cream and onion potato chips if you turn your back on them. 

8. I never thought I would think about, talk about, and worry about something as much as I do my goats.


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## DKRabbitry (Oct 28, 2011)

> Don't wear sandles around them.


TOO TRUE!  I have one doe in particular that likes to put her foot on mine and then TWIST and walk away... OUCH!

I have learned that the "easy to raise animal that can eat anything" is not as easy as it sounded to begin with and definitely can/will NOT eat just anything (my hay guy loves that we are buying the expensive alfalfa now and not the cheap grass anymore).
I have learned more than I think I ever wanted to about worms... BLEH!
And I have learned that no matter how bad your day was, there is always one type of animal that will make you laugh your head off at the silly, simple things... yupp, that'd be a goat


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## Queen Mum (Oct 28, 2011)

Goats can squeeze under a fence that is only 3 inches off the ground.

Goats can get their head stuck in a cattle panel that has a hole in it 4 x 4 inches even if he has horns on his head with a 12 inch span.

There are goats who specialize in getting their heads stuck in fencing.  They live for the exercise.

If a female goat is in heat, and there is an intact male goat anywhere within 500 yards, the fence needs to be 8 feet high, sunk at least 1 foot into the ground, and reinforced with concrete footings on the posts to keep him out.  AND maybe he should be kept locked in the barn.  And whatever you do, make sure there are no footholds on the fence for him to climb on.  And don't stand near the fence or he will use you as a step stool to catapult over the top of the fence.


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## goatsintheopen (Oct 28, 2011)

Hmm...Lets see..

I have learned that if a goat doesn't want to walk on their lead, they'll just FLOP on their side.....  

I've learned that goats can lay in THE weirdest positions.... :/

I never knew just how dramatic an animal could be till I had goats. 

I've learned that goats like to pull hair.. Ouch! 

I've learned that Goats can launch themselves from seemingly  high places.


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## peachick (Oct 29, 2011)

ohh  I can play this one.

I have learned the poison ivy lesson too....  dont hold a baby that has been in the poison ivy....  or...   Just name her Poison Ivy and hope you remember to wash arms and legs next time. (well,  arms legs hands neck chest face ear....)

I have learned that my favorites  KNOW they are my favorites

I have learned to like the smell of bucks

I have learned if I want kids in the fall  I have to breed in the spring (Im suffering from kid withdrawal)


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## terrilhb (Oct 29, 2011)

peachick said:
			
		

> ohh  I can play this one.
> 
> I have learned the poison ivy lesson too....  dont hold a baby that has been in the poison ivy....  or...   Just name her Poison Ivy and hope you remember to wash arms and legs next time. (well,  arms legs hands neck chest face ear....)
> 
> ...


I too have learned to like the smell of bucks.


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## Queen Mum (Oct 29, 2011)

I think that Bucks smell like soap.  I really do.  Sort of like Ivory soap.  I've always liked that smell.


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## terrilhb (Oct 29, 2011)

Queen Mum said:
			
		

> I think that Bucks smell like soap.  I really do.  Sort of like Ivory soap.  I've always liked that smell.


I am glad I am not the only one.


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## autumnprairie (Oct 29, 2011)

ok, I have had my goats for almost 3 months.

I have learned to open the food container without having to put the can down and pull the goats out of the food 

I have learned the no sandles around them too.

I need to bring my youngest doe to ballet tryouts for she can do pirouette or 2 

last but not least they can steal your heart


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## elevan (Oct 29, 2011)

Baby goats (pygmies) can get through tiny holes.

Goats are smart enough to "drive" a llama (Maggie)

Goats like to teach non-goats (calf) how to be a goat (Maggie again)

Goats will do anything and I mean anything to get what they want

Chainlink fencing is the easiest thing for a goat to go under

Never underestimate a buck when he wants to get to the does

If you think that fence or stall wall will be high enough - make it higher


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## Queen Mum (Oct 29, 2011)

Goats think farm dogs are goats, just handicapped.  (At least mine do.)  
Goats think non-farm dogs are predators and should be stomped to death.
Goats think deer are weird goats who are severely handicapped.
Goats think Pick-up trucks and cars are a fun toy for climbing.
Goats think, "come here right now" means "Let's play keep away".
Goats think an open gate means "run through right now all at the same time."
Goats on a milk stand think that if the food runs out, the best way to get more is to put their foot in the milk bucket immediately or at the very least, give the bucket a ringing kick.


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## autumnprairie (Oct 29, 2011)




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## TheMixedBag (Oct 29, 2011)

If you throw water at the fence and it goes through, so is that goat.

If my buck gets out, he will sneak around the house and knock the fence down to "break out" the girls.

Cattle panels are nothing more than expensive goat ladders (or springboards).

When you need to go down the stairs off the porch, the stairs are where they must park their fat butts.

If they have access to any kind of door, they will start knocking on it the moment they think you're listening.

Hair is a food source. Expensive alfalfa is not (at least for kids).

If a kid is in your lap, your 150+lb buck must also join him.

Food is not food until it's been nosed, kicked and dumped out of the feed pail (no matter how you have it set up) and then thoroughly stomped on, at which point it's no longer interesting, so they come bug you for some more.

Goats know exactly when your milk pail is nearly full (or they're nearly empty), and this is the perfect time to see just how far off the milk stand they can kick it. Extra points for soaking you, and even more extra points if they can make you swear like a sailor while doing it.


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## elevan (Oct 29, 2011)

TheMixedBag said:
			
		

> Goats know exactly when your milk pail is nearly full (or they're nearly empty), and this is the perfect time to see just how far off the milk stand they can kick it. Extra points for soaking you, and even more extra points if they can make you swear like a sailor while doing it.


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## Queen Mum (Oct 29, 2011)

TheMixedBag said:
			
		

> If a kid is in your lap, your 150+lb buck must also join him.


... making sure that he is between the kid and your tummy.  And he must be as comfy as possible.  So he will put his big old head right up on your chest and gaze longingly up at your face with his pee soaked beard right under your nose.


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## terrilhb (Oct 30, 2011)

These are all hilarious. I love them.


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## poorboys (Oct 30, 2011)

I know my dogs, think they are goats, and are jealose when the goats get more attention,      my goats do know who is the favorite, i've learned they love my long hair. goats are very smart and learned very fast about feeding arrangements, i've learned that my goats love me and I love them, I've learned that people who dont have goats think I'm crazy, But I know my goats think I'm the best thing that walked out that back door every morning. I've learned that goats are very stuburn when they want to be, I've learned that my goats can and will drag me (because I forget to let go of the lead) but they always look back to see what happen to me duh!! I've learned that my goats are the best thing I see every morning, I've learned that my rotitwiler female will nurse a baby goat but will growl at a baby puppy go figure, and she's never had pups, I've learned this is one of the best things I could have done with my life, wish I'd gotten started sooner!!!!!!!
'


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## zzGypsy (Oct 31, 2011)

baby goats are so adorable and charming that they will make you cheat on your adorable sweet-faced lambs.  (it's true, I'm two-timing the lambs. :/ )

goats are made of rubber.  that's the only way they could have squeezed between the bars of the gate or through the cattle panel grid.

goats who know a cool trick, like turning into rubber, are not satisified until they've taught that trick to the entire herd.  it takes about 12 minutes.

goats never, ever forget a cool trick.  like turing into rubber.

more proof that goats are made of rubber: a 26" tall goat can clear leaves from tree limbs that a 5'6" woman can't even reach.

when they're not made of rubber, goats are made of brown sugar.  the proof of this is if they get rained on they will melt just like brown sugar.  only much, much louder.

goat kids know the maximum kid-capacity of your lap is 4.  that is provide you don't count the one behind you hanging his legs over your shoulders with his chin on the top of your head.

goat kids believe that your lap size grows as they grow, so that even when they're 40 lbs each they are sure the capacity of your lap is 4.

there's a really good reason the ancients made the god Pan in the image of a goat... for the bucks it's all about drinking and snorting and party party party with the girls... 

baby goats in winter weather need tiny dog parkas.  especially camo ones.  with little skulls embroidered on them.  or bright pink ones with fur trimmed hoods and rhinestone snaps.  or a knit hoodie.  all of which is bad news for the lambs. (noooooo.... I LOVE my lambs.....)

Bucks in rut will snort Anything.  gross is not a factor.  do NOT pet the buck, you will be washing off buck stink for at least 18 hours if you do.

empty goats amplify sound.  in addition they are precision time instruments.  I know this because I can hear the goats two and a half miles away if their owner is one minute late feeding them.

some things should not be explained to non-goat people.  if those things are explained, it will cause them to make the face that their mothers told them not to make unless they wanted their face STUCK that way forever.

one of the things that should not be explained is this: My husband to the Vet, "why do the bucks drink their own pee?"  Vet to my husband, after a meaningful pause, "that's not pee he's drinking." My husband, <making the EEEEWwwww face> "MAN goats are nasty." Vet to my husband, "well, the bucks, anyway."  Buck to both of them, <snort> <raspberry> "meeeeehhhh."


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## Queen Mum (Oct 31, 2011)

I can't breath!  Call an ambulance...   I'm laughing too hard.....


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