# The MAN Rules (operating instructions)



## Latestarter (Sep 25, 2015)

Saw this on a thread over on BYC and just had to share. It is so right on the money! I did make some minor modifications and there was no indication as to who to give credit to. It's probably been around for years. Anyway, enjoy:

*The Man Rules*

*Now, here are the rules from the male side. The MALE "operating manual" if you will.*​
*These are OUR rules!  Please note* *…* *these are all numbered '1'* * ON PURPOSE!*​
*1. Men are NOT mind readers.*

*1. Ask for what you want.* * Let us be totally clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!  Be SPECIFIC! TRY to be CLEAR & CONCISE!*

*1. Come to us with a problem* *ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.*​
*1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done; 
NOT BOTH!
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.*

*1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; Expect an answer you don't want to hear.*

*1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, basketball, the other football,  (sports in general), hunting, or* *fishing*.

*1. If we ask YOU what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We suspect you are lying, but it's just not worth the effort/hassle. See rule 1 above.*

*1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.  
If you give any other answer, it leaves room for doubt or misinterpretation.*

*1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry; 
we OBVIOUSLY meant the* *OTHER one*!

*1. Learn to work the toilet seat.  We need it up. You need it down.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.*

*1.* *Sunday sports
It's like the full moon* *or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.*

*1. Crying is blackmail.*

*1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 
After that period, we won't even remember the discussion!*

*1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us! See rule 1 above.*

*1. Christopher Columbus did* *NOT* * need directions and neither do we.*

*1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not* *a color.* *Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have* *no* *idea what mauve is.*

*1. If it itches, it* *will* *be scratched... We do that.*

*1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine* *…* *Really.*

*1. You have enough clothes.*

*1. You have too many shoes.*

*1. I am in shape.* *Round* *IS a shape !*

*1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.*

*1. Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
Did you know, men really don't mind that? It's like camping.*​


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## goatgurl (Sep 25, 2015)

Oh @Latestarter  your so goofy


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## Hens and Roos (Sep 25, 2015)

thanks for the laugh...


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## Bunnylady (Sep 25, 2015)




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## babsbag (Sep 25, 2015)

35 years of marriage is right around the corner...I could add to that "manual"

I always said that in my next life I wanted to be a technical editor. I read for content, I pay attention to the commas, and hate directions that are
1. vague
2. all pictures.
3. WRONG (not that what you posted is wrong, not saying that at all )


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## chiques chicks (Sep 25, 2015)

This probably explains why I'm old and single again.

Never posted the rules.


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## Latestarter (Sep 26, 2015)

I can identify Chiques... tried unsuccessfully twice. Never believed "third time is a charm." Confirmed bachelor from here on out.


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