# A Joke for Christmas



## Royd Wood (Dec 23, 2012)

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.

THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.

EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT
WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. 
SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT
ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.

THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE CHRISTMAS MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT T HE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.

SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK,. SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING
WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOTSTEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL 
HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! 
AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE, SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD..

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. 
SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.

HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE.

'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.'

BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN..'


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## HankTheTank (Dec 23, 2012)




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## D1 (Dec 24, 2012)




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## ThreeBoysChicks (Dec 24, 2012)

That is funny. Disgusting, but funny.


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## Southern by choice (Dec 24, 2012)

Oh no.. you didn't.  
Where is the emoticon with face down hands cover face and shaking head back and forth  in UTTER SHOCK/DISBELIEF!

Royd... what kind of child were you?


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## elevan (Dec 24, 2012)




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## bonbean01 (Dec 24, 2012)




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## Alice Acres (Dec 24, 2012)

I had heard it before...but it still is amazing...gross, but amazing!


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## SheepGirl (Dec 24, 2012)

was my first reaction reading the last line of this post!!

  was my next one!


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## Vickir73 (Jan 2, 2013)

that's freakin great!! . . . just like a man to do something like that tho!!


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## Vickir73 (Jan 2, 2013)

oh and I mean to stuff them back in without asking questions first - not telling the joke!!


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