# Just a little tidbit from a lost BYCer...



## wbruder (Jan 10, 2012)

Hello. I'm here from Backyard Chickens, and wanted to share with some "farm" folks a little story...
I was given the best gift of my life when I was 12.... a Belgian/Morgan?? Cross purchased from a Mennonite farm in PA. We grew up together and he was/is the best horse ever. He is the mascot of our farm and has been for 10 years.

I moved away to Oregon 8 years ago and he became my mother's horse, as we believe a pet is yours for life. I was just home for Thanksgiiving, and as Tucker is starting to get on in age (21, 22 ish) he has developed arthitis and some other ailments, which my mother takes care of more than diligently. Anyway, while I was brushing and petting Tucker, my mother threw a huge suprise at me and said "well, if it ever comes to it, and I need to "make the decision" do you want me to tell you so you have the chance to come say goodbye? Or should I just do it and tell you later?" 

Now, this is not something that my mother would take lightly, and it will absolutely kill her to have to do it, as Tucker is our most prized and loved pet ever. I started to bawl immediately and couldn't answer her.

I just don't know how to deal with that circumstance. Should I be there for him? Will it kill me to see him that way? Would it be better to just know the great times we had growing up together and remember those and not see him "go down?" I know he still knows me, even tho I only see him once a year, if that. And he still shows me affection the way he did when we were young...


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## kla37 (Jan 10, 2012)

I don't know what to tell you.  That would be a very difficult decision indeed.  I think I would want to be there.  I was there for my dogs when it had to happen, and I'm really glad now that I was, even though it was such a sad experience.    Sounds like your mom is wonderful, and doing what she can to make him feel as good as possible!   I had one of my dogs for 18 yrs.  It's hard.


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## elevan (Jan 10, 2012)

It's certainly a very personal thing.  For me I need to be there when it's a special pet.


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## wbruder (Jan 10, 2012)

That's the thought I was having, as well. Not only to be there for Tucker, but so my mother and I can grieve together. I think she would like me there. 

I have lots of animals now, as an adult, as when I was young, and we are coming up on dogs ages 12, 10 and 9, so we will be dealing with this as well. It will be my first time losing an animal that I have had for so long, as MY animal, not the family's animal. My childhood cat just had to be put down at age 17 for a throat tumor....but he has also been my mom's cat for so many years, that it did not hit me very hard I just thought, well, he was 17, he had a good life. I did not cry.

Thinking about Tucker dying is almost like the last remnant of my childhood dying. We have been through so much together, I just don't know how I will be able to cope. I mean, he was a teenager, and I was just coming into my teenage years when we were united. This horse was there for me when my bf was killed in a car accident. He was there through breakups, and hardships of growing up. And he KNEW me. He KNEW I was upset, or happy, or whatever.... how do you let go of a pet like that? 

My mother will have him cremated, and maybe I will take some ashes. Perhaps I can make some earrings from his tail... I will need something physical to have to commemorate our bond, for sure.

I made earrings from some tail feathers from my favorite roo, and that helped.


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## MaggieMay (Jan 11, 2012)

wbruder said:
			
		

> That's the thought I was having, as well. Not only to be there for Tucker, but so my mother and I can grieve together. I think she would like me there.
> 
> I have lots of animals now, as an adult, as when I was young, and we are coming up on dogs ages 12, 10 and 9, so we will be dealing with this as well. It will be my first time losing an animal that I have had for so long, as MY animal, not the family's animal. My childhood cat just had to be put down at age 17 for a throat tumor....but he has also been my mom's cat for so many years, that it did not hit me very hard I just thought, well, he was 17, he had a good life. I did not cry.
> 
> ...


Well, being there to say goodbye will be hard, but maybe think about how you would feel if you didnt physically see him one last time to say goodbye?  As far as actually watching the euthanasia?  I would talk to your vet about this first, some people find it very hard to see what sometimes happens...not that the horse suffers, but it can be traumatic for the owner, trust me.  Hugs to you both and Tucker too.


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## kelsey2017 (Jan 11, 2012)

I have unfortunately dealt with horses being put down a lot.  I know it is hard but I think being there is the best.  I remember being a tenager when my childhood pony died, I couldn't get home and my mean ex- boyfriend made fun of my because I was crying over a horse.  I knew that he was suffering and I wanted to comfort him like he had done for me so many times.  I think if you are lucky enough to know when the time is right you will feel better putting him down.  I have seen it both ways at the stable I managed.  The owners horses were all getting old and over the course of two years I saw five of her old guys go.  I helped the vet in each instance.  One old mare should have had the decision made for her before it got quite so bad.  I mean she was alright still looked okay but she was very arthritic and had heaves.  She was my bosses horse before the stable existed 30 years ago.  She went down in her stall one night and we couldn't get her on her feet again.  When the vet came out my boss had her put down another horse at the same time.  I was furious!  He would have been fine for awhile yet, but in truth I don't know that he wouldn't have gone down in his stall the next day.  There were a bunch of folks at the stable that morning, it was the first time dealing with this for some of the boarders.  They were outraged that she made the decision to put the gelding down as well.  When the time came, several of long time students and I walked him out to the field and the vet gave him the first injection that makes them lie down and sedate.  We all hugged and petted him so he would know we still loved him and then the vet gave the injection that stops the heart.  We cried, I'm crying now just thinking about it.  Even our vet was crying, she had known him for years too.  But it was equally hard watching the old mare struggle in her stall and be scared.  
Once I had to help my boyfriend put down the neighbors horse.  She couldn't afford to have the vet do it.  It was perhaps the easiest time I have  had with putting down  because the horse was SERIOUSLY sick and old.  I felt so bad for it, a carefully placed bullet was really a release.  If you know when the right time to say goodbye is you're lucky.  Unfortunately either way it happens you may wonder if you made the right decision.  It really, in the natural order of things, is not our decision to make, so it is never easy.   The fact that you are thinking about it now means that you will be ready when the time comes.  Give him a big hug and bawl your eyes out in his neck, it is normal and you'll cry anyway, whether you are there or not.  So sorry you have to think about it.  You are a lucky girl to have your Mom care for him.  My first horse was given away when I went to college and she died soon after.  I always felt bad about that.


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## Teeah3612 (Jan 11, 2012)

My friend had to put down her 26 year old horse this summer. She didn't want to be there and watch. She thought it would be too hard to do. She now wishes that she had been there to say good-bye. He was not alone, there were plenty of friends around, but she still wishes she had been there. With that said, it's still your decision to make and don't let anyone tell you what to do. Do what's right for you.


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## goodhors (Jan 12, 2012)

Should you need to do this for the horse, discuss things with the Vet first, if you plan to use that option.  There is 
a shot given first, that calms the horse.  This will help prevent him reacting badly to the meds that put him to sleep.
I know of several cases where the horse reacts BADLY to the medicine, and went ballistic.  Certainly made things 
MUCH harder on everyone.  The Vet then had to about jump on the horse to administer another dose to actually
finish it off, while horse was fighting and throwing themselves around.  Horrible experience for the one older
lady owner!!  You can't know if horse will react badly until HE DOES!  So a much better routine is to give the calming
shot first.  Make it CLEAR to the Vet that you want the two shot method, BEFORE they come out.

Other folks have shot their horses, but they KNOW where to put the bullet, gun on skull, have appropriate size guns for the job.  
Only took one bullet, horse went very fast, as was mentioned by another on here.

And then you need a plan for the body.  Local ordinances about burying or needing the body hauled away.  So you usually need
bigger machinery for digging the hole at least 6ft deep.  We have rented backhoes from the rental store, or you can 
hire someone to come in to dig and bury the animal for you.  Local person with a machine.  Pile ALL the dirt back on the hole, 
the top will sink over time, so the pile often is level again when body is done.

Other folks think that taking the body "back in the woods" in returning the animal to nature for disposal by the wild critters, is better.
Probably helps if you have a large acreage to do that method.  Anything in the horse won't affect any underground water that may 
drain thru the dirt.  Most folks say the animal is pretty gone in a few weeks.  

Here in Michigan, they passed a law to allow composting of large animals, cattle, horses.  You bury them
in the manure pile.  A lot of folks have done this, and say it actually is a very quick method, along with being quite clean.  There
is NO SMELL if the body is buried deeply, so no varmints come around to dig it out.  Does take a large manure pile, so you get some 
depth over all parts.  Again, you would probably need a tractor with a loader or backhoe to do a good job of coverage.  Husband 
worked the race tracks just out of High School and said they found a couple "parts" when they cleaned up the winter manure piles
in the spring.  There was a halter and 4 shiny shoes in a HUGE manure pile.  No actual horse peices though.  Guess it was a pretty 
hot pile, to compost the bones that thoroughly in only about 6 months.  Folks kind of knew who had done it, but man had no money 
to pay for body disposal in the fall, so he buried horse in the pile and everything of the body was gone by spring.  Usually take longer, 
but depends on how much manure there is and how hot the pile gets.  Seems like recommended time is about 9-12 months for leaving
the pile to do it's job.  This came about because there is only one company left in the State that will pick up carcasses now.  I think method was 
cattle industry supported, because disposing of them was getting very expensive, along with having to wait for the truck over a week. 

If you do choose burying, you may want to tie his legs up, to give a "folded" appearance.  This makes the body MUCH easier to deal
with, hole needed is a bit smaller.  You kind of fold the fronts, tie hooves to the elbows, tie both hinds together, pull and tie head around
to the hinds.  Horse appears curled up like a foal, with no flopping limbs, easy to scoop him up in the bucket.  Much better than trying
to manage the loose body that can leave ugly memories.  Horses are LARGE and difficult to manage without a plan. 

I am sorry about your horse, but this might all be WAYY in the future!!  With my old horse, we made the plans for fall, so she didn't have
to deal with winter.  Thinking of her falling on ice, getting stuck down outside, would have meant an ugly end.  Along with the various
difficulties of getting her buried in frozen ground.  Frost here is usually at LEAST 6ft down, hard to deal with.

Letting her go was terribly hard, but doing things to prevent a really painful end, is what the good owner does when the time comes.
Everything seemed rather surreal, lovely sunny day, calm and respectful thru the process.  She just went to sleep.  We ALL cried, even
the Vet.  She was quite old, 35yrs, had a very good life, had been mine since she was a foal.  She was pretty frail, time to let her go
before she got to the "bad" stage of body parts failing, pain of a colic.  So we did.

You have to choose about being there or not at the time.  A couple of my other old horses I was not able to be with.  One loaned to 
a friend coliced suddenly, so we said to let her go as the Vet was right there.  Another I just couldn't watch but husband was with her, 
legs finally worn out so she was dead lame.  She had been slightly lame to begin with after a hoof injury, limped about for a couple years 
of retirement, but just wore out her joints.  Worse lame in her OTHER legs then, from saving the bad one, so it was her time.  You do 
what you are comfortable with, and that is OK whatever you choose.

Hope your mom is just "feeling you out" and your family has a lot of years left to enjoy the horse.  20 now is nothing like the old days!
My old mare was winning in competiton until age 29 and someone wanted to buy her at at that show!!  Didn't believe me about her age.
She hauled my small daughter around at home for another 4 years, just perfect for that job.  Kind of like people, everyone ages a bit
differently, so numbers don't always mean anything.


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## PattySh (Jan 12, 2012)

Alot of valuable info goodhors. We just lost a old  pony very recently we had for about 10 yrs . We had to leave her overnite in a stall with a horseblanket over her. The grandkids (5 and 6 yrs)  who had not seen her dying insisted on viewing and petting her before we moved the body. Both took it much better than I did watching them.  After we all petted her and saved some mane hair, I was able to help with moving her. We are composting the body. We chose composting because of our land being full of rocks and ledge. We lost another old pony a while back and composting was odorfree, fast and nothing bothered the remains. Worked great. I will add that I have seen injections used to euthanize horses that went very badly and a gunshot  to the head is way more humane in my opinion.


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## bheila (Jan 18, 2012)

I personally would want to be there if it were my animal. We had to put down our 36yr old mare and I was the only one with her besides the vet. We had a neighbor come dig a hole, then we brought her next to the hole and the vet gave her the injections. It was peaceful. That was 15 yrs ago.

Now that we live on a farm where we raise animals to eat I'm not so emotional about having to put down an animal. It's not that I love them any less, it just means I'm more prepared about when the end is near. We choose to euthanize our own animals now because we feel it's less stress on the animal and they never know it's coming. 

Who knows if you'll want to be there in the end. Sometimes we change our minds last minute in the middle of a stressful/emotional situation. He'll always know how much you loved and cared for him even if you're not there in the end.


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