# dog jokes



## greybeard (Sep 22, 2018)

The Italian Funeral
A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he
noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the
nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse
about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a
solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short
distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

The Jewish man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully
approached the Italian man walking the dog and said... "I am so sorry
for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've
never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"

"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her
and killed her also."

It was a very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian
brotherhood. Silence passed between the two men.

The Jewish man then asked... "Can I borrow the dog?"

The Italian man replied, "Get in line."
.
.
.
.
I found my German Shepherd, Hondo, with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit was dead, and I panicked.. I took the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house. I gave it a bath, blew dried its fur, and put it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they would think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor asked me, "Don, did you hear that Fluffy died?"

I said, "Um... no... what happened?"

The neighbor replied, "We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath, and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!"


----------



## frustratedearthmother (Sep 22, 2018)




----------



## animalmom (Sep 23, 2018)

You owe me a new keyboard, @greybeard!  Got any more dog jokes?


----------



## Pastor Dave (Sep 24, 2018)

I will have to borrow these for my "sermon jokes"


----------



## RollingAcres (Sep 24, 2018)




----------



## Pioneer Chicken (Oct 19, 2018)




----------



## greybeard (Jan 18, 2019)

(yes I know...whoever photoshopped the photo forgot to remove the steering wheel...)


----------



## promiseacres (Jan 18, 2019)




----------



## RollingAcres (Jan 24, 2019)




----------



## Wehner Homestead (Jan 24, 2019)

Must be burying a huge bone!


----------



## wild stallion (May 16, 2020)

Q: Why did the Dog put lotion on his paws?
A: Because they were ruff!
That joke always gets me.


----------

