# Feeding trolls



## OneFineAcre (Nov 27, 2013)

Why are some of you continuing to feed the troll?  Don't you know they are just like geese, if you feed them they stick around and leave a mess everywhere.


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## Southern by choice (Nov 27, 2013)

Hey... I have geese. Please don't insult my geese.


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## OneFineAcre (Nov 27, 2013)

Those year round  Canadian Geese we have here will sure make a mess if they take up residence in a pond in an office park or on a golf course.


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## bonbean01 (Nov 27, 2013)

Very true...never feed Canadian Geese on your pond dock either...learned that the hard way


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## alsea1 (Nov 27, 2013)

LOL. Its like the temptation to poke a stick at em. You know you shouldn't but ya can't help it.


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## Southern by choice (Nov 27, 2013)

....and they spread disease too..... oh now I understand the analogy.   

JK One Fine! Good post. We should always give benefit of the doubt and when a troll is perceived... don't play /will go away.


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## Southern by choice (Nov 27, 2013)

alsea1 said:


> LOL. Its like the temptation to poke a stick at em. You know you shouldn't but ya can't help it.


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## Andrei (Nov 27, 2013)

True colors are easy to see by an honest eye.


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## elevan (Nov 27, 2013)

The Care and Feeding of Your Troll: A Primer

So, you brought home a new Internet Troll. Congratulations!  If you are a first timer having a troll, you may have questions.  Here are a few suggestions so that you and your troll can live in karmic balance.  Now remember, each troll is different and your results may vary.  However, this primer should help you get on your way.  Welcome to the world of having a troll!

How do I refer to my troll now that I have him/her?

First, your troll may show up already named.  Yet, you will find the pre-fab names to be rather unoriginal such as Annonymous [sic], ihateyou or yousuck.  Never fear, you can always change their name.  If this is your first troll, I find that it is best to give him/her a soothing, happy name to remind you that they are really just helpless, sad creatures.  A good name can make all the difference!  I recommend something like FluffyLoveBunny or Silly Billy Chickie Boo.  How scary is that?  Not so much.

So your troll has a name!  Congratulations!  You are on your way!

How do I discipline my new troll?

Now as trolls are known to do, yours may act up from time to time.  He or she may get down right nasty and vicious towards you.  Remember:  That is in their nature.  They are inbred to act that way.  It is just NOT their fault.  (And rumor has it most of them were dropped on their head often as tiny, baby trolls.) Of course, your first instinct as you get used to your new troll is to lash out and want to punish them for being so incorrigible.  That would be your first mistake!  It only encourages their behavior.  The best way to keep your little FluffyBunnyLove in harmony with you and your home is to ignore him or her.  Unlike their human counterparts, neglect keeps trolls temperamentally neutral.  Allowing them to see your anger or pain at their behavior merely encourages them to keep it up and makes them raging mean.  Neglect. Ignore.  Restore (the balance).  Those are the keys to disciplining your new troll. 

Now that I have a new troll, what do I feed him?

Like any wild animal, it is important to understand the indigenous nature of their diet.  Your new troll may try to convince you that the best thing you can feed him is a diet of your anger, frustration and pain.  Dont listen.  As any child can tell you, they will try to get away with anything they possibly can.  It would be a mistake to listen to them.  Your anger, frustration and pain is their main source of nutrition and growth and-- unlike human beings who need good nutrition and growth to survive-- it is vital that trolls maintain a steady diet of ambivalence and ignorant bliss to maintain their puny stature.  As much as you want to punish him or her, remember that little FluffyLoveBunny needs to be ignored after he or she comes home with you.  A steady diet of neglect will keep you living in harmony with your new troll!

Where do I keep my new troll?

That is a great (and normal) question!  As with any troll, he or she will want to be front and center in your life.  He or she will want your never-ending attention at all times.  It is their nature.  However, to live successfully with your new troll, you must remember to keep him or her locked in a corner or sitting so far in the back of the room that you forget her or she is there.  Remember:  Neglect makes this work!  Dont feel guilt.  It is how this relationship was meant to be.

What if my troll runs away from me and never returns?  Does this mean I failed as a troll owner?

Absolutely not!  In fact, just the opposite.  If your troll gives up in frustration and leaves you for another, that simply means you have done a good job in the care and feeding of your troll.  Pat yourself on the back.  You deserve it! 

However, remember this:  The troll population is diverse and re-spawns quickly.  Dont get too comfortable.  Before you know it, another troll may follow you home. But, with this handy primer, you will be ready for the care and feeding of your troll! 

Good luck with your new troll!  May your journey be swift and painless!

For more detailed Troll information, see the follow up article: Internet Trolls- Where the Fairytale Ends


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## alsea1 (Nov 27, 2013)




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## bonbean01 (Nov 27, 2013)

Em, I love your sense of humour!!!!!


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## Nifty (Nov 27, 2013)

It's funny because it is true!

Thanks for posting that Em!!!


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## OneFineAcre (Nov 27, 2013)

elevan said:


> The Care and Feeding of Your Troll: A Primer
> 
> So, you brought home a new Internet Troll. Congratulations!  If you are a first timer having a troll, you may have questions.  Here are a few suggestions so that you and your troll can live in karmic balance.  Now remember, each troll is different and your results may vary.  However, this primer should help you get on your way.  Welcome to the world of having a troll!
> 
> ...



Excellent information.  At this point I had figured a lot of this out myself, but sadly a few others have not.


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## Bossroo (Nov 27, 2013)

I too have figured this out and am now putting the fluffy bunny love troll on a strict NO feed diet .


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## OneFineAcre (Nov 27, 2013)

Bossroo said:


> I too have figured this out and am now putting the fluffy bunny love troll on a strict NO feed diet .



Good job.


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## Bossroo (Nov 29, 2013)

The reason I responded to this troll is ...   Trolls are in reality BULLIES      ...  I have been bullied in grade school  and quickly got fed up with it and wupped him.  No more bullying !  Another older bully tried that  in the play yard,  I wupped him too and NO  MORE bullying.  One tried it when I was a Freshman and a new kid in High School,  same result.  Since a cyber bully is not in my reach and don't understand the written word, I am putting it on a NO FEED diet and hope others here do the same.


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## treeclimber233 (Dec 25, 2013)

I have acquired a few trolls at work.  Will this work on them too?


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## Goat Whisperer (Oct 22, 2014)

elevan said:


> The Care and Feeding of Your Troll: A Primer
> 
> So, you brought home a new Internet Troll. Congratulations!  If you are a first timer having a troll, you may have questions.  Here are a few suggestions so that you and your troll can live in karmic balance.  Now remember, each troll is different and your results may vary.  However, this primer should help you get on your way.  Welcome to the world of having a troll!
> 
> ...


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## GD91 (Nov 19, 2014)

Great post that was.
Ok, so who's the troll, I haven't met him/her on here yet?


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## OneFineAcre (Nov 19, 2014)

That particular one moved on 
They come and they go


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