Bruce's Journal

[RollingAcres]

Neither DW nor I grew up poor, just basic middle class, and both had jobs in HS, college and went to work soon as we graduated college

We didn't grow up poor either, same here, basic middle class. I got a job right after HS but still lived at home at the time. Then at 20 left home, left country to come here for college. Got a job working at the college computer lab the 2nd semester of Freshman yr and worked there through college.

 

[RollingAcres]

My parents never gave us an allowance. We were expected to help with the housework, cook, clean, even do the yard work when necessary.

Same here.

 

[Bruce]

@farmerjan, go pound sand.
JUST KIDDING!!!!! But you did tell me to tell you that so I did .

DD2 had to pay for her books, incidentals and travel though when we got tired of driving to Schenectady to pick her up at the train (a mere 3.75 hours each way) I started paying the difference between the train and flying. And travel, on her, included the semester in Japan. Neither kid is a money spender and DD2 can pinch a penny until it bleeds. Not that she minds spending money if it is someone ELSE'S money.

No loans for school, too many kids getting out of school with crushing debt they may never be able to pay (of course that was a choice they made). Dad set up 529's for his grandkids and DW's parents were also generous and paid some every year. In the end it was about 1/3rd us, 1/3 each grand parent side. Since DD1's 529 has been sitting longer, it is worth more (unless the market goes down of course). But at less cost than Beloit even after the merit scholarship, her education will be cheaper for us.

DD2's winter job will start after we get back from So. Cal. When the snow stops, she plans to go visit friends in Japan then get a full time job ... maybe as a city carrier for the USPS. DW and I find this most "amusing" given that job requires a lot of walking carrying a lot of weight, in all weather. Not really something DD2 has ever shown any "skill" at or desire for. But no more excuses about her ear surgery coming up and all, that was done in June. She has made mention of wanting to be out on her own, and I suspect that is true, at least so we won't expect her to do things like dishes and vacuuming (the work poor "Cinderella" is expected to do!). Of course those things will have to be done when she lives somewhere else and she'll be doing it.

And yes, I suspect DD2 sees DD1's "exemptions" as somewhat unfair though I seriously doubt she would want to trade places. DD1 has offered her migraine to DD2 but the offer was not accepted

 

[farmerjan]

@Bruce Maybe getting out on her own will be the "lightbulb" in her life to doing things and then she can do them HER WAY.
Thank you for not taking offense. It just seems that you 2 as parents have done things for them that my parents would have said " there's the door, don't let it hit you in the azz on the way out " . Again, patience of a " saint " .

 

[greybeard]

Well, there's always going to be sibling rivalry no matter the circumstances. My twin brother and I were just alike in every way and we still often disagreed on how 'fair' each was treated compared to the other.
Growing up, he got less, of nothing than I did some of the time, and other times, it was reversed.
"Boy, you don't get any."
"What about me Dad?"
"You? you don't even get that much."

 

[Bruce]

 

[Senile_Texas_Aggie]

When I was a teenager in my first year of college (and still living at home), my dad and I started having our "disagreements". It got so bad that I considered joining the Army (and this was during the height of the Vietnam War) just to get away from home. Finally, I decided to go and stay with my uncle and his wife in Maryland for awhile. In the few months I was there, I got to learn just how right my dad was, and that I was the one causing all of the problems.

Maybe DD2 could have an experience like that, to get away from home for awhile, and spend some time with a relative or good friend and see what the real world is like.

Senile Texas Aggie

 

[greybeard]

It got so bad that I considered joining the Army (and this was during the height of the Vietnam War) just to get away from home.

That's exactly how my bother ended up in the US Navy in late 1969.

 

[Baymule]

And my brother joined the Marines.....1967

 

[Latestarter]

And I joined the Navy in '76.