CocoNUT - New Addition....

Southern by choice

Herd Master
Joined
Jun 11, 2012
Messages
13,336
Reaction score
14,686
Points
613
Location
North Carolina
Pearce Pastures said:
PREACH it! I am guilty though and karma bites---I used to think ADHD was just parents who didn't know how to discipline their kids. Then I had Ben :th I am a strong disciplinarian and believe in a balance of positive reinforcement and appropriate consequence....he believes his hands are airplanes and that crumbling a piece of pavement under his desk makes more sense than doing his math. :he It is one of those you don't understand until you experience it yourself I guess because there are plenty of people who think like I did (actually, that popular family psychologist guy whose book is on my shelf thinks it is made up too---:smack ).
I am much like you Pearce... I believe in teaching our kids first time obedience...with love, grace, and consequences. I also have one with ADD...not ADHD. He is borderline though. I did learn about the 6 types of ADD and that has been a very effective tool.

One of the dis-orders that can coincide with ADD is Non-Verbal Learning Disorders. Sadly I have not met ONE educator that has ever even heard of it. Of course the name makes matters worse because people think it has something to do with "speaking"...LOL it has nothing to do with it. Working with a NVLD child is difficult. The varying degrees make matters worse. Educators do not like kids like this in their class, they often will really grow to strongly dislike the child. These kids are also usualy super intelligent which of course make things even more difficult. Social relationships for these kids are also very difficult. They can handle only one person at a time.

I also know that in the 90's every normal active kid was being labeled with ADD and many really were not..it was in the parenting. There really are kids with these issues and as a mom of one it is heart-breaking. You know, with downs syndrome people can see it so they get it, same as any dis ability that can be seen...yet the wiring in the brain that gets "short circuited" cannot. I often tell people just because you cannot see it, it doesn't mean it's not there. I have found...and I don't care about stupid studies that contradict this... SUGAR greatly effects my sons behaviors.. I explained to him it is as if he is "allergic" to sugar, his body cannot handle it and reacts to it. Also.. believe it or not I have found change of seasons and the barometric pressure greatly effects his behavior.

Yesterday..Horrible, absolutely horrible...and so far today- turning out the same way. Did I say Horrible???

Hang in there Coco!
 

CocoNUT

Overrun with beasties
Joined
Aug 11, 2011
Messages
1,278
Reaction score
7
Points
89
Southern by choice said:
One of the dis-orders that can coincide with ADD is Non-Verbal Learning Disorders. Sadly I have not met ONE educator that has ever even heard of it. Of course the name makes matters worse because people think it has something to do with "speaking"...LOL it has nothing to do with it. Working with a NVLD child is difficult. The varying degrees make matters worse. Educators do not like kids like this in their class, they often will really grow to strongly dislike the child. These kids are also usualy super intelligent which of course make things even more difficult. Social relationships for these kids are also very difficult. They can handle only one person at a time.

Yesterday..Horrible, absolutely horrible...and so far today- turning out the same way. Did I say Horrible???

Hang in there Coco!
Ok...so the FIRST (bolded) part was Evil in Kindergarten AND 1st grade. HORRIBLE school. STILL HATE those days. They blamed Evil for EVERYTHING! I mean the K teacher put her desk in a corner waaaaay away from any other kids. And SHE had only 12 kids in her class AND had a teacher's assistant. As a former "teacher" (I had 9/10 year olds) that was UNACCEPTABLE! She was too hyper - wouldn't stop talking or bouncing or whatever - got her medication - now she can't stay awake in class. But is she distracting everyone when she's quietly sleeping?! :barnie Evil is a sweet kid - VERY "spunky"...like her momma! Very smart...like her momma! (Did I mention Hubby is ADD?)

Both she and I are VERY MUCH like the underlined portion of your quote Southern. I don't do well with multiple people...but one - on - one...amazing! I can't "do" multiple friends at the same time....I always feel weird. Like everyone needs attention but I don't know how to do it. Hence, FEW friends. Evil is the SAME way. And she even has problems with the ONE friend at a time sometimes too. Gets too stimulated and kinda melts down. (probably a touch of autism there...seriously.) Again...it's a GOOD THING she's so cute! We just concentrate on the good things...I 'learn' her on why she SHOULD do certain things and how. I'm HOPING she'll mellow out a little more as she gets older.... :fl

School is the biggest issue - are we going to get a GOOD teacher, who can work with her? She's had both sides of the spectrum. And her latest teacher (who was doing really well with Evil) left on maternity leave. So Evil is breaking it in with a new teacher. Hopefully, we'll get to meet with her soon and get a 'feel' for her. I'm HOPING for the best....
 

CocoNUT

Overrun with beasties
Joined
Aug 11, 2011
Messages
1,278
Reaction score
7
Points
89
Oh and Pearce - Karma KICKS MY BUTT INSTANTLY EVERYTIME! I'm talking w/i SECONDS!
So I TRY...oh LORD do I try....to keep it in check....
 

CocoNUT

Overrun with beasties
Joined
Aug 11, 2011
Messages
1,278
Reaction score
7
Points
89
Ok...so haven't had much "online time" the last few days. I'm actually sorta busy at work...AMAZING! Plus the EVIL ONE has decided that her watching Littlest PetShop Youtube videos is more important!

So...Evil was supposed to have a slumber party Friday night. That got postponed until tonight. In the meantime, she was trying to arrange a playdate with her best friend from school. Well that didn't fly cause her mom doesn't want to "put up" with Evil overnight....and the girls father was "sick" on Saturday. But still...her friend calls and they chat and spend time together at school! I'm amazed at Evil's friend...and how honest and yet loyal she is. Her parents think Evil is "wild," but still she sees a good person in Evil...and stands up for her. WOW..and this girl is only 9! There are still good people out there in this world....

Ok...the OTHER reason I've not been around lately is DH has decided to destroy ANOTHER vehicle! :barnie Well...not entirely this time. It's not like the ones he's totaled...don't get me started!:smack But anywhoo....after the last car he TOTALED, I finally got the new car (I was driving the same car for 7 years) and he got my old one. Well...it now has 250K + miles on it...and the drive shaft needs replacing. Just one of many things we've been fixing on it. So he's decided he has to have another car. OK, FINE...but NOT NEW. :old . What? he says....I'm like NO! :rant So it's been like pulling teeth and dealing with EVIL on a bad day to get him to suck it up and realize he's not getting a NEW car! (unless he wins the lottery or spontaneously comes into some MAJOR money!) So....he's finally agreed that I'm right (a*hem...) and we'll be taking it a little slower on the car shopping this time around. I swear...that man is so danged expensive sometimes! So...for now...we're commuting together - which means a later day for me, doing chores in the dark, cooking/eating late, etc. Oh for joy! Men! I swear...if it's not sports...it's cars. Let's just hope :fl he KEEPS his word and doesn't get that "look" in his eyes for some rediculous car....:drool
 

Southern by choice

Herd Master
Joined
Jun 11, 2012
Messages
13,336
Reaction score
14,686
Points
613
Location
North Carolina
Take comfort Coco.I know I wouldn't want my child to have a sleep over at anyone's house that couldn't deal with my child. As a mom though it is heartbreaking. :hugs

What is wrong with a pre-owned vehicle? Carmax is great. Usually all the fleet cars are sold off at 30,000 miles for a fraction of what they'd be new. They are usually about a year old. We saved $30,000 on one of our cars some years back. Our van was less than one year old with 30,000 miles... still have it and saved $22,000 by NOT buying a brand new one. It was an airport fleet vehicle- standard white van... excellent condition except the drivers seat...someone, let's say "girthy" obviously drove it. :lol:

I hope DH lets you handle this one for sure! ;) Hopefully you'll find something reasonable soon.
 

CocoNUT

Overrun with beasties
Joined
Aug 11, 2011
Messages
1,278
Reaction score
7
Points
89
I know Southern. But it'd be nice if Evil's friend's parents would let her stay at OUR place! I don't know that she's allowed to have sleepovers at anyone's house actually. Her parents are kinda control freaks...but they'll take her to a concert where people are stumbing around drunk and smoking pot! Go figure...but MY child is too wild!

The HORRIBLE PIECE OF CRAP car my LOVING husband bought after the FIRST car he totaled was purchased at CARMAX actually. Did I mention that car was a HORRIBLE PIECE OF CRAP?! AUGH. That car was a NIGHTMARE. That was the ONE car he didn't total...and I was about ready to set the thing on fire...SERIOUSLY. It was awful....but he'd gotten that particular car "stuck in his mind" as the one he wanted...and he DID NOT listen to me about how it was a BAD idea. (DH JUST admitted to looking at CARMAX - but in his words: "NEVER AGAIN!" So...we're checking out a lot of different options right now. I just don't want/need TWO car payments! That's the whole thing...we've got too many bills as it is! His whole thing is is "ego" with what car he's seen in. That's fine...have a champagne taste in cars with a beer budget...IN YOUR MIND! PRETEND that 'junker' is whatever the fantasy car is....plus he likes to 'tinker' on HIS cars. That's another issue that costs money and (in MY humble opinion) causes a lot of the 'problems' his cars seem to develop. I drove my older car for 7 years...just under 200K miles...never had a problem with it. NEVER. My DH starts driving it...all of a sudden this is wrong, that's wrong, I need to do this or that or blah blah blah. He tried to blame it on me...that I don't know what those 'sounds' mean...therefore I don't know about cars. Yeah whatever...my cars don't have PROBLEMS...and I don't TOTAL them! He had to suck it up...cause I'm right. So if he wants to total his cars or spend money on messing around with them...he's gonna hafta do it with a BEATER! mwa-ha-ha-ha!

At least he ADMITTED this time that he DOES tend to total cars and realizes that it's not worth the money/car payments to keep on doing that. :celebrate

With some guys it's sports - football, NASCAR, basketball, whatever. With my DH...it's cars. (I wish it would've been something CHEAPER...) Fortunately he's gotten back "into" his model kits...so hopefully that'll help distract him a little. :fl
 

bonbean01

Herd Master
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
5,192
Reaction score
841
Points
363
Location
Northeast Mississippi
Hope he finds a car that fits into the budget...we're thinking that the green beast will not last forever, and would look for a newer used beast when that time comes. A minivan is just so convenient to carry feed and lumber...whatever...going to look for a pasture gate tomorrow and measured and yup...can take an 8 foot gate inside or tie to the rack on top....you need a green beast!!! ;)

Here the thing is tires...DH has never met a curb that he has missed with the tires :rolleyes:

And you can bring your daughter here anytime...we can all have a girlie sleepover...just be sure to bring those grinch fleece pants...gotta see them in person :lol:
 

CocoNUT

Overrun with beasties
Joined
Aug 11, 2011
Messages
1,278
Reaction score
7
Points
89
Speaking of Green Beast, we HAD a nice old truck. But daddy had to start "messing" with it. You know "fix all those mechanical problems" and customize it. The danged thing blew a piston on I-81! We ended up having to WALK, in the sleet, in JANUARY, about a mile and a half to the closest gas station cause daddy didn't bring his cell phone! Did I mention this was at NIGHT!!!! What a mess! Never trusted that truck again. Even after we replaced the engine. That truck, when it was RUNNING, was awesome! But...it turned into a moneypit. Daddy finally sold it this fall...to pay for repairs to his car.

After we get him this beater...I told him I wanna save up for another pickup truck. (DH would DESTROY another minivan...already been through that!) Not a BIG one...but a RELIABLE one. We're lucky in that we have several pretty good auto auctions close by...so we're going to check those out. Just have to PREVENT him from getting a SPECIFIC car (or even make/model) stuck in his mind...otherwise we're DOOMED! His blinders go on and that's it! But don't worry...I'm ON GUARD for his telltale phrases..."I've learned my lesson," "I'm NOT 'stuck' on an xyz," and my personal favorite, "I KNOW...."

Huh...I just realized...daddy needs to change my oil.....(I let him be 'manly' and do the oil changes...) ;)
It's a good thing I LOVE him!

Oh Bon...daddy goes through tires like you can't imagine! Seriously! It's unbelieveable! I may be driving on less than desireable condition tires...but I don't SLIDE OFF THE ROAD like some people! Amazing. I'm willing to bet money...that WHATEVER car we end up with for him...he's going to NEED new tires! And Bon...my thing used to be denting the rims on the curbs...until we got me a subaru (all wheel drive). Now I just jump the curb...haven't destroyed a rim since!

As for those grinch fleecy pants...if you're good to me Bon...I might put in a good word with Santa for you this Christmas! ;)
 

CocoNUT

Overrun with beasties
Joined
Aug 11, 2011
Messages
1,278
Reaction score
7
Points
89
Be CAREFUL Bon...Santa might just HAVE to find you a pair of the elusive, rare, green grinch face fleecy pants! Hey wait a minute...St. Patty's day is coming up....I'll have to remember to spock out the wal mart next time we go! You'll have to tell me (PM) me your pants size...and I'll keep my eyes peeled!
 
Top