ELeVan ~ Honaker Farm Journal

[elevan]

Thanks for your insight. The little girl does this to K on a daily basis for the past 2 weeks. K has expressed herself and asked the girl to stop multiple times. My stand is that the school now needs to step in and talk to the girl and make sure she understands that repeating this everyday is hurting someone. I completely understand the processing timeline for different individuals but sometimes they need to be made aware that they are hurting someone and to stop. We've given K a protocol for what to do, the school was given a protocol for how to respond. If this child has special needs and a different way of being told this then the school should be able to formulate a way to do so. The simple answer to give kids was "K is who K is" and for the adults to not make a fuss over it. Trust me, I'm not going into the school as a hothead demanding that the girl be punished. My goal is to have a discussion with the school about the situation and help them make sure that they have protocols in place for "extended misunderstanding of the situation" by students or staff.

 

[Southern by choice]

Elevan, I am so glad you read that with the love intended! There really is no harder yet more rewarding job than being a mother!

 

[elevan]

Elevan, I am so glad you read that with the love intended! There really is no harder yet more rewarding job than being a mother!

I've learned very quickly that anger has no place in this. Frustration is often an emotion that I feel though These 2 kids have taught me more than I could ever imagine about life, love and understanding. You're very right, motherhood is a challenge that comes with huge rewards!

 

[bonbean01]

Just read the update and I feel for your wanting to do "something" and protect K...I too would first start with talking to this child's parents. Had a problem with a bully when my son was in Kindergarten...and again when my daughter was in Junior Highschool. Both times I tried with parents first...when that didn't work, asked to speak with the bully child...both times that made the difference, and somehow I had the bully kids coming to my place on weekends and seeing me as a second "mom" they could talk to when they had problems...sounds strange, but it's true.

Life has so many twists and turns, not to mention sideway manuevers as it is...K has all of these and more to deal with...just my opinion, but I think once she is a teenager it will become harder for her, but she will be stronger by then and more comfortable with just who she is and with all that love and support, she will handle it well.

The key word about this bully child IMHO is the word "child".... and who knows what she is hearing at home about anyone being different? If the school does come up with a way to manage this, would that single out K even more?

Yes...motherhood is not easy...the mama bear came out in me many times and I had to tame that beast...say anything you want about me, but not my kids...raising children I think is the most important and hardest thing we do in our entire lives...and as Southern said...Love does go a long way

 

[elevan]

We're working new ground here as K is the first acknowledged transgender student in our district. The key ultimately involves educating kids toward acceptance of ALL people. Our school has already done a good job of that with their Character Counts classes and assemblies but since this is a new situation for all students and most staff we know that it will need to be tweaked over time how they deal with it. One of the first things that I made very clear to the school was that K's situation is a recognized medical condition that is protected by HIPPA, so they must work very hard not to do anything that specifically singles her out or they violate the federal law. That's really why I'm not contacting this girl's parents...this isn't your typical bully situation, we don't want to wave a red flag in front of just anyone's face and since I don't know the parents I will not go that route. Our schools goal is to educate kids both academically and to help them grow as people...part of that is tolerance and understanding of people that are different.

Perhaps, I should have worded my post differently...

 

[elevan]

I really do want to thank you all for the feedback. I've amended my post to address it as it makes for a better understanding of the situation.

 

[bonbean01]

Nope...you worded it just fine Em...I just get that mama bear gut emotional reaction

I'm glad your school at least try to listen and hope they do a decent job with this for K and your sake!!! Not all schools with take the time or have the patience to even deal with issues that need to be addressed. All kids and adults could learn so much with open minds and hearts.

Would life not be just so grand if people could not only be tolerant of differences, but also embrace it as it adds to the whole of society? Yes, I am a dreamer.

I once saw a bumper sticker on a car ahead of me when my kids were fighting in the backseat and totally not listening to me..."Motherhood is not for Wimps" ...and I thought, oh how true is that????

You're not a wimp, and you know best your situation...wish I knew how to help you through this...know that you are supported and loved Em

 

[elevan]

...wish I knew how to help you through this...know that you are supported and loved Em

You help by caring, not judging and showing support. In a rural area there are times that I feel so alone in all of this, so being able to share it and get feedback is immensely helpful to me.

Tolerance and acceptance is about love. Showing people that despite differences we are all the same under it all. I remember seeing a picture of multiple skeletons with captions under each..."fat person", "skinny person", "gay person", "black person", "white person"...I thought that pic was very powerful because it showed the stark reality that once you strip it all away we are the same.

What so many seem to forget is that showing support for someone doesn't necessarily mean that you agree with them, it could be quite the opposite. Showing support means that you accept their right to be who they are or to feel the way that they feel. Support means you show others the same respect that you wish for yourself.

 

[Southern by choice]

.

What so many seem to forget is that showing support for someone doesn't necessarily mean that you agree with them, it could be quite the opposite. Showing support means that you accept their right to be who they are or to feel the way that they feel. Support means you show others the same respect that you wish for yourself.

I think this is an important statement. I hear the word tolerance often, but usually it is one sided. I have family that I LOVE, but hate what they do. I am finding more and more if someone doesn't agree or like something someone else does, than the one who disagrees etc becomes villianified. ...and yes I know that's not a real word.

 

[elevan]

Daisy is doing some heavy breathing tonight... And her udder is getting bigger, so we're definitely getting closer.

The 2 big goats were constantly jumping the fence today Grrr! All I had to do was yell at them and they would jump back over. They're going to the processor next month, can't get them in during deer season so have to wait to January.

We put Barney (one of our dogs) in the field to help deter coons and other predators. We don't expect him to be an LGD, but he loves the animals and they all tolerate him (or just ignore him) and he already dispatches anything that came into his previous area (except chickens and goats).

We had some white tail deer along the back of our fence (other side of it) tonight. I love watching them...they seem to center me. They are so graceful and beautiful.

We'll be doing some fence work tomorrow...that horse needs to be gone already. I'll also be building a couple of rabbit enclosures while DH processes guineas (and maybe a couple of rabbits).