fuzzi's "Gardens and Chickens...and Goats? Oh My!" Journal and More Thread

fuzzi

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Do you mean what we did after our beloved was gone or beating up on ourselves second guessing what we shoulda’ woulda’ coulda’ done?
Yes.

Not so much about how we shoulda coulda with our beloved, but about getting rid of things and regretting later.
 

Baymule

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I gathered up BJs clothes and shoes and took to a men’s mission and shelter. I kept some favorite items. What good was his clothing going to do for me, when the bags and bags of blue jeans, shirts, dress clothes, coats, boots, tennis shoes and other things could make a profound impact for someone in need?

I am wearing one of his long sleeved Tshirts right now. It brings me comfort.

I cried over some of his things. Big sobbing grief. I was packing up to move and I couldn’t take it all. He was a bit of a hoarder and kept many things for sentimental reasons. I couldn’t keep all his stuff because it meant something to him, I have some of his stuff because it means something to me. I still have boxes of his stuff after moving twice. It’s been 3 years, someday I’ll finish going through everything, but I’d rather go outside to play.

Lots of people tried to tell me not to make any decisions for a year. Well, maybe good advice for them, but not for me. I don’t waffle around in a dither, overcome and unable to make a well thought out decision. I sold our farm, moved to my son’s house that needed a lot of work, 6 months later I bought 25 acres and moved again.

I’ve got more to do here than I’ll ever get done and that’s ok with me. I’m doing what makes me happy.

I have no regrets. I made the decision to sell our farm of 7 years. We lived our dream and loved every minute of it. But he wasn’t there anymore. He is gone. I can’t bring him back.

My advice to you is dont wallow in self pity, your grief is deep, it is personal and although it gets better, a part of you will always be missing. But the rest of you is still alive and deserves to be happy. Face reality head on, take control of your life and do what makes you happy. If it takes you a month or a year, it is a huge adjustment and you will do what is right for you.
 

fuzzi

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I gathered up BJs clothes and shoes and took to a men’s mission and shelter. I kept some favorite items. What good was his clothing going to do for me, when the bags and bags of blue jeans, shirts, dress clothes, coats, boots, tennis shoes and other things could make a profound impact for someone in need?

I am wearing one of his long sleeved Tshirts right now. It brings me comfort.

I cried over some of his things. Big sobbing grief. I was packing up to move and I couldn’t take it all. He was a bit of a hoarder and kept many things for sentimental reasons. I couldn’t keep all his stuff because it meant something to him, I have some of his stuff because it means something to me. I still have boxes of his stuff after moving twice. It’s been 3 years, someday I’ll finish going through everything, but I’d rather go outside to play.

Lots of people tried to tell me not to make any decisions for a year. Well, maybe good advice for them, but not for me. I don’t waffle around in a dither, overcome and unable to make a well thought out decision. I sold our farm, moved to my son’s house that needed a lot of work, 6 months later I bought 25 acres and moved again.

I’ve got more to do here than I’ll ever get done and that’s ok with me. I’m doing what makes me happy.

I have no regrets. I made the decision to sell our farm of 7 years. We lived our dream and loved every minute of it. But he wasn’t there anymore. He is gone. I can’t bring him back.

My advice to you is dont wallow in self pity, your grief is deep, it is personal and although it gets better, a part of you will always be missing. But the rest of you is still alive and deserves to be happy. Face reality head on, take control of your life and do what makes you happy. If it takes you a month or a year, it is a huge adjustment and you will do what is right for you.
That is extremely helpful, and I thank you for taking the time to share your personal experience.
 

fuzzi

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I was already mentally cleaning out Ron's dresser, thinking about storing extra blankets and such in the space. I'm being practical, not uncaring. I can't fit anything of his, so it's being donated.

Our son's been cleaning out the "man cave", sorting through so much junk, papers, things with no sentimental value. But I found an ID bracelet that I gave Ron when we were dating. It's now in my dresser drawer.

We were planning on moving to eastern Kentucky or maybe WV when we retired, but that is on hold. The house is paid for, let's see what happens in the next year or so. Wherever I am I will have my critters.
 

fuzzi

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Today (Tuesday):

The DME company still have not picked up their hospital bed.
:rolleyes:

I had my hair cut, it feels SO much better!

I paid the crematorium.

Stopped at TSC, bought chicken feed, bungees (for planned hoop coop), two 5 gallon buckets (on sale!), and a couple toy horses for my younger granddaughter. She's like her "Gamma", she loves animals. She has plastic farm and wild animals living in her doll house along with her Calico Critters.
:D =D

I also stopped at a Christian ministry thrift store, found a working orbital sander, woo!

Early this morning I took my Toyota Highlander to be inspected, and have the oil changed. I asked my mechanic about the passenger side window not working. I told him about Ron, he commiserated. I have been taking my cars to his establishment for 24 years, so we know each other fairly well. When he called me later and said the window would be about $350 I told him to go ahead, I wanted it working. Ouch.

When I picked up the SUV mechanic said cash price was $380 for everything. That was way low, too low...inspection and oil change AND the window? I asked if he'd given me a discount and he said yes. GOD BLESS HIM!
:love

Later the pastor of a church we attended years ago stopped by the house, with his wife and eldest granddaughter (17). I almost cried, it was a nice visit and we prayed together before they left. Those are the kind of people who truly demonstrate God's love.
:love

I have been sorting out Ron's clothes, seeing what is worth donating to second-hand stores and what just needs to be tossed.

One more day and I have to get back to work, it's been almost a month since I took medical leave.

IMG_20250111_141104060~2.jpg

Tough life...
 
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