Jumping the Moon Dairy - the next chapter

[Bruce]

I like that @babsbag. Tells people you aren't beating your animals up and about when they will be unable to get the milk they are going to get addicted to.

 

[misfitmorgan]

Except for those dang screws that get embedded deep and won't come out. They will let you separate the two boards but the screw stays in the top one. That is maddening.

@misfitmorgan Thanks for the vote of confidence, problem is that my goats are smart too. If I was really smart I wouldn't own goats.

Anytime Babs.....to be fair though if any of us were that smart we wouldnt own any livestock and would all be vacationing on some sunny beach atm.

How about this:

Jumping the Moon is a seasonal dairy. The goats are milked daily most of the year but they are given a well deserved vacation for a few months in the winter before having their kids.

I like it, the "they" bother me but thats probly my dyslexia.
Jumping the Moon is a seasonal dairy. The goats are milked daily most of the year but are given a well deserved vacation for a few months in the winter before having their kids.
Hurts me head less
The statement itself is a really good one i think though. I have a terrible time with "slogan/label" type things....yet i do websites for other people, go figure!

 

[Bruce]

I can see saving a little ink by eliminating the "they". Seems unnecessary.

 

[farmerjan]

Replace the "but are given" with "THEN are given" Capitals to show where to take out "but" and put in then.... Doesn't sound like you are making an excuse...just stating a fact of the goats life....

 

[babsbag]

Jumping the Moon is a seasonal dairy; the goats are milked daily for most of the year. Then for a few months in the winter, before having kids again, they are given a well deserved vacation


The kids are hand raised which helps to develop trust and a bond with people and makes them a welcomed addition to the herd.

 

[Devonviolet]

That looks really good, Babs!

 

[farmerjan]

Looks pretty good. Still don't like the "d" on welcomed, because "makes" is current tense, but that is just me. It reads easy. I like that you can give people an idea that there will be a break in the fresh milk schedule....
P.S. no sense in telling all the secrets of YOU needing that winter break!!!!!!!

 

[Baymule]

I think you just nailed it.

 

[babsbag]

By the time I am done with kidding season this year I will need a break for sure...oh, wait, that isn't when I get the break...darn. I have a doe that is playing me and making me crazy and we have only just begun. *sigh*

@farmerjan I am still torn with the "d" myself. I have a sister that is an English major and retired school teacher, maybe I will ask for her 2 cents just because I can.

 

[misfitmorgan]

I'm no english major but i do believe that should be welcome present tense. You also have an extra and...

The kids are hand raised which helps to develop trust and a bond with people making them a welcome addition to the herd.

 

[babsbag]

@misfitmorgan Yes, removing the and was good. Thanks.

Perhaps it is the "raised"...past tense...that is throwing off this sentence. What about this? Also added a comma after 'kids' and 'people'.

We hand raise the kids, which helps to develop trust and a bond with people, making them a welcome addition to the herd.