Jumping the Moon Dairy - the next chapter

[misfitmorgan]

@misfitmorgan Yes, removing the and was good. Thanks.

Perhaps it is the "raised"...past tense...that is throwing off this sentence. What about this? Also added a comma after 'kids' and 'people'.

We hand raise the kids, which helps to develop trust and a bond with people, making them a welcome addition to the herd.

Happy to help

i like that version the best! I think the past tense was doing it, this newest version reads the best so far.

Jumping the Moon is a seasonal dairy; the goats are milked daily for most of the year. Then for a few months in the winter, before having kids again, they are given a well deserved vacation.

We hand raise the kids, which helps to develop trust and a bond with people, making them a welcome addition to the herd.

You may also want to make the first part more present tense to, something like this maybe.

Jumping the Moon is a seasonal dairy; we milk our goats daily for most of the year. For a few months in the winter, before having kids again, they are given a well deserved vacation.

Read all together, my brain doesnt see any hard stops(the again catches me but dyslexia i think) so it reads smoothly.

Jumping the Moon is a seasonal dairy; we milk our goats daily for most of the year. For a few months in the winter, before having kids again, they are given a well deserved vacation.

We hand raise the kids, which helps to develop trust and a bond with people, making them a welcome addition to the herd.

 

[Bruce]

I like it @misfitmorgan. I think though subtle, present tense does read "more positive" for some reason.

Hmmm, I wonder if maybe the "for" in "daily for most of the year", is unnecessary.

 

[farmerjan]

I like the "present tense" of it. I think that is what was getting to me also, mixing the past tense and the present tense. This sounds positive, and professional, yet homey and inviting. I am glad the term seasonal works. I knew that the seasonal cow dairy term would translate to goats.

 

[CntryBoy777]

I really, really am sorry for this Babs, but check with your sister...because I say the "d" should still be on welcome. The reason is the future perfect tense of the verb welcome...is welcomeD....the kids are not the reference for the verb, but the herd is....so when the kids "Join" the herd they are welcomed by those of the herd and are not welcoming themselves to the herd. I believe your DS will clear it up and I will be interested in the outcome. It all sounds really great to me and am so Excited for ya and the trickle of milk going in the bottles and the shelves filling with product....and then disappearing so more can be sold.....

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Or you could just say the kids will be a WONDERFUL addition to your herd!

 

[babsbag]

Always the peace maker.

 

[babsbag]

@CntryBoy777 that is definitely more than I remember from high school grammar class. I will let you know when my sister chimes in.

 

[misfitmorgan]

I really, really am sorry for this Babs, but check with your sister...because I say the "d" should still be on welcome. The reason is the future perfect tense of the verb welcome...is welcomeD....the kids are not the reference for the verb, but the herd is....so when the kids "Join" the herd they are welcomed by those of the herd and are not welcoming themselves to the herd. I believe your DS will clear it up and I will be interested in the outcome. It all sounds really great to me and am so Excited for ya and the trickle of milk going in the bottles and the shelves filling with product....and then disappearing so more can be sold.....

Welcomed is Future Perfect, yes
Welcome is Future
Welcoming is Future Continuous
I believe any can be used in this context though to a layman and average joe using future tense would be easiest on the brain most times. This reminds me of the oxford comma debate.....yes i use the oxford comma.

I also believe the statement ment Bab's was welcoming the kids, not the herd

 

[babsbag]

I use the Oxford comma too.

I have not heard from my sister so I am thinking that she and her husband are still wandering around the southwest somewhere. She lives in OR and they like to escape the wet damp winters. They are both very good amateur photographers so they went out on a trip to get some pictures, with no set time of return. That is a lifestyle I can't even imagine. Somehow I am the only sibling that got bit with the critter bug.

 

[babsbag]

Well, the Internet sure has a lot to say on the subject of welcome or welcomed so we aren't the only ones having this discussion. Welcome is an irregular verb, I am using it as an indicative verb in the future perfect tense, so it would be welcomed. But when I run it through grammar check it doesn't correct it no matter which way I spell it. If I substitute "they will be" for "making them" it is still welcomed.

English...gotta love our language.

I think I will call my sister tonight and see if she is in cell phone range.