Jumping the Moon Dairy - the next chapter

[babsbag]

The next version.

 

[Latestarter]

There needs to be a comma after easier to handle as that has nothing to do with the 2nd part about being welcomed...

 

[Southern by choice]

Love the pics!

The baby Alpine... is that a mini? Gorgeous pic!

And Moonpie- that is Moonpie right? She is the one that started it all isn't she?

 

[OneFineAcre]

I'm not much at marketing
If you have a question on accounting or finance that's more my lane

 

[BoboFarm]

Here are some suggestions from a newbie...

Are you going to put prices for lotion, soap, honey and kids since you have it for milk, eggs and cheese?

Why is "gently" in quotes in your description vs the product list?

Here's a language suggestion for your description:

Jumping the Moon Dairy is a small, family-owned, Grade A goat dairy in Northern California that is home to Alpine and La Mancha goats as well as chickens and bees. Our does are milked daily and are given a break for a couple of months prior to having kids again. The kids are a welcomed addition to the herd. They are hand raised, which helps develop trust and makes them easier to handle.

I think the pictures are perfect and show happy looking goats. Since your brochure cover is mostly blue you may want to incorporate the blue in the rest of the brochure to be consistent. Again, these are just suggestions. I hope they're not to nit-picky

 

[OneFineAcre]

For that matter why put anything about the frequency you milk and how long ?

 

[Wehner Homestead]

I like Bobo’s way of rewriting the paragraph.

I can’t get the brochure to open on my phone so I can’t add anything else. I do hope all goes well for you though!

 

[Southern by choice]

For that matter why put anything about the frequency you milk and how long ?

That's what I asked.

 

[farmerjan]

I have to disagree with the "D" part. Are a welcome addition as opposed to are a welcomed..... Are implies current situation and the "d" implies that it is past tense. If you take the "a" out then it makes "welcomed" a proper tense. The "a" implies singular but taking it out implies that it is plural which the "d" is more correct. Then I would make additions instead of addition.
The kids are a welcome addition to the herd.
The kids are welcomed additions to the herd.

I am going to go to my work computer to see if I can get the brochure as my home computer is too old to do all the opening of files etc..

 

[Hubbyfarmer]

new to group not sure how it work