Farmerjan's journal - Weather

[farmerjan]

Just a short post. @Baymule move out of the rental is supposed to be May 1st. Now that may have to change... got a call from my father all upset that my mother was leaving him, she was gone. Got on the phone with one of the caretakers and she is failing, but she is not gone.... father is beside himself..... yet she will not be here much longer. He sits and watches her like a hawk, checks her pulse every 5 minutes, he is beyond sensible..... So after talking to him for awhile and the caretaker, then talked to my one brother, not the POA , and he filled me in with the latest situation, and that he has not been able to get with my other brother who is the POA, because he just left to go back home to his place the first of April to get his fishing boat in the water for the charter fishing season.... after spending the last 5 months of off season time at parents. In the meantime, my sister is going up tomorrow and Brother 2 (POA) should have gotten the messages and be there or heading there. I will talk to sister and/or B2 tomorrow evening and see. B1 said that I should make a decision after I talk to them.
I said how I pretty much said my goodbyes when I was up 2 yrs ago in April 2019, when my sister and I went together up there....when my mom was still able to recognize me and was still saying a few words and when I was leaving I told her I loved her and she very slowly but concisely said I love you. I figured then that I might not see her again while she was living. Of course, she has lived much longer than anyone thought then. Then my father had the stroke in summer 2019, and the rehab and I was encouraged to wait til he was home and doing better to come up ..... then DS broke his hip,, Nov 2019, then I had the ankle replaced, Feb 2020, then the stupid Covid crap hit.... I have not been up there in 2 years. But she was barely the mom I knew when I was up and B1 said that she is not "mom" anymore, she is a body that exists and "she" , the person she was and that we all knew, is long gone to a better place. He said she looks nothing like she did even 2 years ago. Totally unresponsive, might nod her head once to someone talking to her... but all that is there is a body that won't shut down.
So, don't know what is in store at this point. I am going to inform the landlord that I may have to postpone the final move out due to her condition....having to maybe make a trip and then the waiting on her possible passing and my fathers' mental state.....
I was working down at the house packing and sorting. May just box up stuff now, and not sort until it is up here.... and make a few calls and see about getting a moving service now since there is a good chance that DS won't be able to do it if this whole situation comes to a head and waiting on a conclusion.... and we are getting into hay season and cows to be moved to pasture and all the spring stuff. Plus he is bending over backwards for the GF and her carport deal and then the farm purchase.
So I am heading back down the hill, will load what is packed, and get some more out of there to the dumpsters .....and just pack things to be sorted later once I am here. May as well go by and feed the horses while I am up here now.
Had really thought that I would be getting a call that she had passed away during the night and just have to go up for a funeral; father does not like to call me because we butt heads so much.... I was pretty taken back by the call today. B1 said he just can't accept that she is failing and that she is going to "leave him".... and is reaching out to anyone that he thinks might be able to "change it"......

Talked to DS for a little bit and he is copping an attitude that I should be going up there to see her, and be there for my father..... but I am leaning more towards what B1 and I talked about for now; waiting til tomorrow and then see what my sister and B2 say. I can't fix it for father, and he is much more dependent on B2 and responds much better to him.... Once she is gone, I look for father to go fairly quickly after that.... he will just will himself to die. That is sad too, but that is the way he is. He has been so totally co-dependent with/on her , then to include my B2, and not wanting me to come help when I have offered.

 

[Baymule]

I’m sorry about the whole situation. It will be hard on everyone. You are using your head, get the facts before running up there.

 

[farmerjan]

Talked to B1 and he talked to the caregiver that was there today who is a good friend of his. She said that father has gotten himself worked up into a state and is not being at all rational. Mother ate tonight.... they have to hand feed her, but that is was about normal. She is pretty much bed ridden now. B1 talked to father earlier in the day, and he was trying to get father to just talk and calmed down some, and during the conversation he changed complete train of thought and said that there were people up on top of the hill working on the tower and the cable was going to go down the road.... seems like he has it in his head that they are trying to take his land away and build a tower on top of the hill behind the house.... But there is no tower, no cable; my B1 said his dementia is getting worse fast.....
Sad situation. But, B2 is supposed to be there tomorrow, and father has a dr appt on Wed..... then he will have to go back to his place as he has a charter this weekend, and B1 will be up there at his Christmas tree farm working and will be 10-15 miles from parents so he said he can go there for a bit at lunch and in the early eve for a couple days. There are caregivers there from 8 am to 8 pm....
He will be talking to B2 tomorrow too.... and said that I needed to just start calling daily and talk to father for even a few minutes..... he says that he will say he has to go and check on mother in the middle of a conversation, so they are often short on his end... but if anything changes someone will call me.

I went down the hill, finished cleaning off and emptying the desk and other shelves, just remembered I forgot the one drawer, but that won't take a few minutes to "dump it" in a box. Put the boxes in the car and brought up. I will take the truck down the hill and take stuff to the dumpster and newspapers and stuff to the recycling. Clean and vacuum some stuff so I can get into the kitchen and get the rest of the cupboards emptied... mostly dishes/baking pans etc. That will take a bit to do.... but I can go right up the road a mile or so to the dumpster there, and then come back and maybe load more stuff on the truck to come up.

Had to put in a load of clothes as I am out of the compression socks I wear on the ankle/leg. I will run the rinse in the morning, so the shirts and stuff are not all wrinkled, and hang them out as it is supposed to be 60-70 and mostly sun for the better part of the day. Then some "unsettled weather" , which is a change from the "rain" forecast... but temps are supposed to drop. Widespread frost warning now for Thursday and Friday mornings, all depending on how much wind we have.... temps here supposed to be down in the mid 20's both nights. I can hang them by 9 or so when the sun is up good, and then bring them in early afternoon.

DR is about all rearranged for the onslaught of stuff yet to come up... BR will be ready for the bed in another day. I sorta stopped on that when we were working on the carport thing.... then I got into the DR. Got the winter overalls and heavy stuff in the tote.... stacked the ones with yard sale clothes all together.

Supposed to test on Wed afternoon for the 200 cow herd that I usually do where Geneva milks part-time. She is going to be giving that up as she is becoming a full-time "nanny" for the friend who had a baby a couple months back... there is a 2 1/2 yr old and the new baby and the mom is going back to her job as a 9-11 dispatcher... so hours are kinda skewed.... hope she is milking this wednesday. Have not heard back from the other herd I texted over the weekend.

DS called earlier and was a bit upset. He took his dog to a trainer to see if she could be trained to work cattle... and she disappeared this evening. Got under the gate from the working lot the trainer uses, and out in the field with the cows and then took off. Trainer called DS and said they had alerted all the neighbors, called animal control and all, went looking..... he just texted me 5 min ago and said she returned to the trainers place. Thank goodness. About as heart wrenching as Sheba disappearing on you @Baymule . Except this was not familiar territory for her to "come home to" ... Thank God she had sense to go back there.... thinking it was the last place that DS was.... she is very attached to him. Trainer said she is not showing much interest in learning to herd or obey commands... and that there are some dogs that just don't seem to want to do it. Others absolutely want to go out there and "do something" as their instincts tell them.... DS said that he was considering going up to get her this weekend since she was not showing much interest.... now he will go for sure. No sense in paying for her to be there if she is not going to "try". And the possibility that she might take off again. The bad thing is she does that here sometimes... just takes off; but usually comes back to the barn eventually. His ex gf has the mother, and none of the dogs get worked and as far as I am concerned they are not a good working bloodline. If they were worked and trained then maybe it could be "reawakened" but, they are more useless than useful. Just going to be a pet. She is devoted to DS so he is going to have to be satisfied with that.

I'm going to head down the hill so I can get some stuff loaded in the truck in the morning to go to the dumpster, then hopefully load some stuff to come up here and hang clothes and then unload both vehicles. By then I ought to be in "fine shape"..... gotta make hay while the sun shines.... and like @Mini Horses , work the schedule to fit the weather and what you can do inside while it is wet and do outside when it is nicer.

 

[rachels.haven]

Is his dog an australian cattle dog or red/blue heeler? Where I grew up in iowa they had those in the shelter system a lot. One out of every so many would go rogue and just run and run and run (and occasionally harass cattle) until it was shot or someone brought it in-especially the lighter built one. It was like their instincts to be constantly moving were missing the "cows" part of the thought process. They were still good dogs, but they had to be on leash.

 

[Bruce]

Sounds like you've hit the rough patch of road Jan

Would it be possible just to hire someone to move the rest of your stuff to your house and get it over with? No more back and forth time.

 

[farmerjan]

Hey, everyone. Just a short sit down for a few minutes. I loaded the truck and then took it to the dumpster this morning then came up and finished running the clothes through the wash and got them hung. Ready to get the stuff out of the car into the house.
Nice pretty sunny day, started out low 40's , 60's now with a nice breeze but it is getting brisker. Might hit 70 then some possible showers tonight in front of that cold front and winds are supposed to get up to the 30 and 40 mph GUSTS..... and colder..... now they are not only saying a frost likely but maybe a FREEZE ????

I keep telling myself that it is only April and the last avg frost date for this area is MAY 15th....

B2 texted and said that mother was up in the hospital bed and ate her breakfast this morning. His words were 'mother is up and doing fine, eating her breakfast.' So my father's total hysterical breakdown yesterday was just another of his irrational panics about her leaving him, and his overbearing hovering that he could not find her pulse every 2 minutes....I am not picking on him, because he is thoroughly tramatized about her passing away. The caregiver told me yesterday that she cannot get out of the bed at all anymore; that was the reason for her to have the hospital bed several months ago when they could get her up and out with the ability to raise the bed and use the hand lift thing above for her to help herself. But she is now nearly comatose from what I was told. She sleeps 80% of the time, waking only when they wake her to eat and the clean her up and all. My mom is not this body, she is in my heart and my mind and I believe that all that is there is the physical body of her. She definitely would not have wanted to be this way and I know that from what she has said over the years. Sadly my father's dementia that has come on rather fast and intense, has him so intent on her not leaving him, that he can not and will not allow her to pass. It is going to be a very very bad situation when she does finally go. And I wish for her sake that it is soon, to not have to exist like this. What will happen to my father after that I don't know. Again, this B2 is the POA in charge of everything..... but I don't think my father will last long once she is gone. He will give up. And maybe that is the way it should be for him.... I don't know.
So for now, things are status quo....

@Bruce, I have got calls in to 3 places to see if I can get someone to do this "major moving" in the next week. I still need to finish the sorting and stuff, but to get someone to do the "carting " since I have no idea what DS is planning now at this point.

So, time to get the car unloaded. DR is done for other stuff to get put in there. I want to finish getting the BR here ready for the bed.... move the little chest and all where I have had the computer and stuff, which will all go in on the computer hutch when it gets here... get the extra chair out, little stuff... and then go back down and do some more in the house. Need to start cleaning the rooms nearly empty except the big furniture...

Have to get the sample bottles in the trays for tomorrow afternoons' testing, and get all that ready. I will be gone the better part of the day. And just realized my PT appt is at 7:30 a.m. so will have to get up and get going early anyway. That is good, gives me a push to get up and going early, then I can accomplish things before I have to leave for work. I think after PT I will come to the new house and work on stuff here before I have to leave for work. Maybe wait and finish the BR tomorrow after PT and before I go to work.
Have to load all the meters and hoses in to the car too. Will do that this afternoon since it might be raining a bit, in the morning. No sense in getting wet if I don't have to.
I can take the truck back down this afternoon and load stuff then it can get backed into the carport to keep anything dry if I have to, for tomorrow unloading. Got some stuff outside in the yard to get, a couple cattle panels and t-posts and such that I used in the garden that I need to get too.
Looking at electric netting/fencing to put up for a couple of calves here. I can make a pass with the mower then put it up to keep the grass down ...
Gotta get something more accomplished!!!!

 

[farmerjan]

@rachels.haven ... she is an austrailian shepard. small and wiry in comparison to many and DS feeds her any and everything but she runs the weight off. I think part of it is his moving to gf house and the dog not wanting to be there and has to be penned because they get into some scuffles with her couple of dogs... and DS used to give her alot more attention before he got so involved with GF again.... she has gotten shufffled from his house as a puppy, then he got involved and she got left at his house some in her pen.... he went there every day but it was not the same... then he broke his hip and moved to gf right out of the hospital, and she got shuffled to gf house and there was some problems as she was still a puppy and chewed some stuff and it caused her to get penned again.... then he came back home to his house when gf screwed around on him, and was just with him.... then when they got back together again she got shuffled around again. They are very intense dogs and she has had her loyalties (his attention) taken away and given back.... plus the old gf that has her dam, and DS had had another out of the line for years, doesn't do anything with them and it dulls their instincts and desires to some extent. They are a breed that people tried to make into "family dogs" and they are for the most part just too high energy and too intense to just be an old happy go lucky family dog. But although she has some instinct to do stuff, it has never been channeled like it should and now she is getting older and harder to train. If he were to really work with her on his own, I think she would be better.... but he has too many irons in the fire so she will just be a high energy pet that is a waste of her breed. When he goes somewhere, she looks for him the whole time he is gone.... I feel sorry for her. She isn't neglected, but she is, in a way.

 

[High Desert Cowboy]

Australian Shepherds can be hit and miss when it comes to herding ability. AKC bred Aussies have become bulkier and more conformation based which has really reduced their herding ability. They seem to be the more common family Aussie you see these days. My neighbor had an AKC Aussie and he couldn’t herd if his life depended on it. There is a different registry called the ASCA (Australian Shepherd Club of America) that focuses on herding ability. ASCA aussies are also built slimmer than AKC aussies. They can be dual registered but it is actually more difficult to register with the ASCA because they have to come from working lines.

 

[Ridgetop]

We had an Aussie about 20 years ago, She was out of a herding line. We started to have her trained on sheep and she was ok. Not great like a Border Collie or McNabb, but adequate. I was told that they could be good herders for family farms but they are not really cattle dogs. They are considered too gentle and easy for cattle, although they will work sheep. Since GF's dogs have ever been trained, you don't have any evidence that they are from herding lines. In addition, even pups from herding lines do not all have the same herding instinct.

If you want a good herding dog, I would buy one already finished from a trainer whose dogs have a good reputation for herding. That way you are not waiting till the dog is trained, grown up, etc. You get a dog that is already working and ready to work for you immediately. The cost will not be cheap, but consider the cost of getting buying a puppy, food, vaccinations, training costs, and TIME - then you find out that the dog does not have the herding instinct. Now you are out all the above costs and above all time involved in trying to come up with a good herding dog, Just like people that want a good trail horse, I tell them to buy an older horse already working and well ridden instead of a young horse unless they are capable of training it themselves. When you are buying a working animal you want it able to work sooner than later.

isn't that the reason Farmerjan buys pregnant cows instead of baby heifers, which she will have to raise, feed. breed, and finally after a couple of years get a calf? In that amount of time and money she could have bought several pregnant cows and had a crop of calves to sell.

Like most purebred dogs these days, there are "show" and "working" lines. 50 years ago, even hunting dogs were like that. I did have an all purpose Weimie, who was an American & Canadian champion, had his NSD certificate and did utility obedience work. He was wonderful and I put a lot of work into him, but a lot of the current Weimaraners can't scent, point, or retrieve anything except a ball! Livestock guardian dogs are going the same way too.

Sounds like DS has a nice companion dog, but if she is a runner, he will probably never train her out of that.

Back to your move:
I agree with Bruce. Can you hire someone to move everything from the house now? Even if you rented a storage unit somewhere it might be cheaper than continuing to pay rent on the house.

Although it sounds as though you don't have to rush to see your father and mother at this point, since the emergency seemed to be an outburst on your father's part due to his dementia. I don't blame you for not wanting to go to see your mother at this point. She is gone and you being there won't help anything. My mother-in-law had Alzheimers and after she no longer knew us it was very hard to go visit even though my father in law was healthy. Poor DH would cry all the way home so I would try to find reasons we couldn't go to see her to try to protect him. The disease is horrible and those who have it die twice for their loved ones. The first time when they no longer know you, and the second time when you bury them.

I agree that you already said goodbye. Ignore DS's instructions to go see her. If he wants to go see his grandmother, he is free to do so. He shouldn't put the burden on you or try to make you feel guilty if you choose not to go. There is also the possibility that your father in his condition will become upset at your visit, seeing your presence as meaning that your mother is dying now. It sounds like his condition is getting much worse. My heart goes out to you.

 

[farmerjan]

@Ridgetop , I think that DS wanted his dog to learn because she shows some interest here with the cows. But he is not knowledgeable enough to really train her. But she has been a mostly companion and I think that at this point it is what she will be. She does take off, but here does not go too far and mostly comes back fairly quickly. Not my dog so I am trying to stay out of it.... I just feel bad for her topsy turvy life. I am not a big fan of them simply because I don't like hyper type dogs.... just me. I also like big dogs.... and am a german shepard type of person. But overall she is a very good dispositioned dog.

As things are going, I should still be out by May 1st if I can get the big pieces of furniture moved. My thoughts were that if I had to go north, that it might be nearly impossible for me to get it done. Since that looks to not be on the "immediate" radar, I should still be okay....
Brought up some more stuff and took more to the dumpster... got some more ready to bag to get rid of. Have a bunch more boxes to pack or to put throwaway stuff in. I will be pretty tied up with work tomorrow, but then should be able to spend alot more time. The other farm I texted, has not gotten back to me... so they are not going to get tested most likely. I wanted to get them done this week, as well as the farm I am doing tomorrow, to be done for the month. I am not going to screw things up for me to get done if they decide they want to be tested last minute.

Got the laundry in, went and fed the horses, went down the hill and got some more stuff loaded in the car and more to toss. Have a pile of magazines that I thought might be good to give to somewhere like the Salvation Army "home" for people to read even though they are older. Many of the articles are still relevant. Guess I will call and see. Have the stuff for the cleaners in the car still, so might try to drop that off on my way through town tomorrow. I will get up early to be at PT, then do what I have to. I did not get the meters and hoses in the car since I made a 2nd trip up with some stuff, and took the vacuum down with me. I did get the sample bottles all in the racks for tomorrow, so ready to take. Will load the meters and hoses after PT when I come back to the house in the morning.

Got the mail, and found the new TSC credit card they have come out with. I forgot that I applied for it.... the 5% off at the store using it for stuff will help on purchases. I don't buy alot there, shavings and some other stuff, and if there are any "big purchases, there is the free financing for 6 or 12 months according to how much you spend. You don't get the 5% off if you choose that... but like the freezer I got here for the house, it freed up cash for other things and the 5% would have been less than $50... which is nothing to sneeze at, but the free 12 month financing is a bigger saving than the $50 saving.... So there are cases when it might be smarter to do it that way.... Use their money for no interest for a few months. So anyway, I have it. I had applied for a Rural King one, but they needed a copy of my drivers liscense, and I have no way to send it from here, so will have to do it the next time I am at the store.... since DS and I buy stuff there, and things like the net wrap for the one round baler is $50 or so less per roll, and at $275 a roll or more, another 5% would really help. He buys alot of his oil and fluids there as they are cheaper than TSC or Advance or places like that. I bet he spends about $150 to $300 every time we go in there....

So, time to head down the hill. Wind is picking up here already and the clouds were piling up to the west late this aft/eve on my way back up here around dark.