My BJ, My Husband has Died

[Thefarmofdreams]

He's on an end table in the living room. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I think I just joined the Club of Crazy Old Widow Women who talk to their husband in a box or urn or whatever. At least mine has a catchy name.

For what it is worth, I think talking to him is a very normal, healthy part of grieving and remembering.

At least you talk to ashes... I talk to myself, while at the grocery store.

Wait.... that isn't normal? What about talking to the items as you pick them up? Is that better?

 

[Bruce]

Dad has my stepmother's ashes in an urn in the bedroom, she died 14 years ago. Still there as far as he's concerned (no he isn't loony).

I talk to myself, while at the grocery store.

That is fine as long as part of that discussion isn't "What did you say?"

 

[Alaskan]

That is fine as long as part of that discussion isn't "What did you say?"

I think my most common phrases are "WHAT were you thinking?" and "What blast all did I need to buy?"

 

[Bruce]

Oh, I know BOTH of those conversations! They are perfectly legit

 

[farmerjan]

I used to get teased for talking to myself sometimes. My pat answer for that...."Yeah, I talk to myself, because that is the ONLY way I get an INTELLIGENT ANSWER".... that stops them in their tracks for a few moments..

 

[robhuncor]

I went to the funeral home today and picked up BJ in a box. BJ in a Box sounds like a catchy name for a new toy doesn't it? Just don't open the box.

He's on an end table in the living room. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I think I just joined the Club of Crazy Old Widow Women who talk to their husband in a box or urn or whatever. At least mine has a catchy name.

There is something very comforting knowing the essence of your loved one is near. I brought my Dad's ashes home with me when I was worried my Mom might misplace him as she began to suffer from dementia. He was on my dresser with a little vase of flowers or memorial memento near him. When I needed comfort, I would pick up the box and hold it for a bit. It was quite heavy and reminded me that all my Dad ever was to me was still there and uplifting me. 14 years later, when Mom died, I placed his ashes in her casket over her heart, as they wished. The service celebrated them both and I felt privileged to have been the caretaker of his earthly remains until he went to join her - two soul mates together again.

My sincerest condolences to you, Bay. I have followed your adventures in your "Paradise" and know the joy both you and BJ were experiencing. His loss is a true tragedy but you must be an exceptionally wonderful person to have so many friends and acquaintances already coming forward offering meaningful help and support in your time of need. In spite of this unexpected turn of events, you will survive and flourish again.

 

[Baymule]

There is something very comforting knowing the essence of your loved one is near. I brought my Dad's ashes home with me when I was worried my Mom might misplace him as she began to suffer from dementia. He was on my dresser with a little vase of flowers or memorial memento near him. When I needed comfort, I would pick up the box and hold it for a bit. It was quite heavy and reminded me that all my Dad ever was to me was still there and uplifting me. 14 years later, when Mom died, I placed his ashes in her casket over her heart, as they wished. The service celebrated them both and I felt privileged to have been the caretaker of his earthly remains until he went to join her - two soul mates together again.

My sincerest condolences to you, Bay. I have followed your adventures in your "Paradise" and know the joy both you and BJ were experiencing. His loss is a true tragedy but you must be an exceptionally wonderful person to have so many friends and acquaintances already coming forward offering meaningful help and support in your time of need. In spite of this unexpected turn of events, you will survive and flourish again.

That is beautiful. Than you for posting that, I'm tearing up, but that is such a comforting post. Someday when I'm gone, I want us placed together, and one of my kids will have to do what you did.

 

[Baymule]

I finally dumped out the sludge in the coffee pot yesterday and cleaned it up. I'm making progress.

@Devonviolet and her husband came by yesterday and we had a great visit.

 

[farmerjan]

So glad that you got to visit with @Devonviolet and her husband. How are they doing? Did they ever get the aquaponics thing set up? Are they still growing alot of their own food even though they don't have the goats anymore? Miss seeing her post.

Friends don't fill up the empty lonely times but they do help to balance the memories.....

 

[Blue Sky]

This may be hugely inappropriate I’ll check back and delete if need be. My birth family could make a commercial for Ronco.
“The Ronco Problematic, it slices, dices, shouts, flouts and pouts. Comes with baggage. Just add alcohol for fun filled holidays.” Or funerals. After a rollicking afternoon in an attorney’s office discussing a deathbed will presented by a wicked stepmother, my brother and I went to pick up his (not my- and that’s a story) father’s urn. We were alone and ever the prankster he says “catch!” Urn sails in a beautiful arc and I catch it. Just in time to pull a straight face as the director walks in. “Good thing the top was on tight or you’d have some ‘splainin to do Lucy.” I told my bro. The only time I ever rendered him speechless. People can act strangely at times like this.
And keep your eye on the class clown…