I have had jobs that I grew to hate. I have had jobs that were MEH and jobs that I loved. I had a lot of jobs, I'd get bored and go on to the next one. Maybe I have attention deficient disorder..... wait! I see something SHINY!
Point being, maybe it is time to change jobs, maybe it is time to find something to like about your job. Make a list of things you would like to do and how much they pay. Look at help wanted. How much money do you need to make? My daughter is a college professor and complains that she made more money waiting tables. Ha, she could have stayed a waitress and not been deep in debt for her degrees.
Sorry about your Dad. Sometimes I wonder why late life has to be so hard. I want to go like my Grandfather did. He told me "I am going to die in my sleep or all at once. I refuse to be sick." And by golly, he dropped dead with a heart attack one morning while shaving at 76. He was dead when he hit the floor. I'm going to die at 105, riding my horse. I'll get thrown off, hit my head on a rock and die. LOL LOL
You have a lot of things going on right now. You need a break. Take a day trip and go do something fun. Or take a 2 day, overnight trip and go do something fun. You need something to make you laugh. Too bad you are so far away, I'd drag you out and go do something stupid.