Baymule’s Journal

Ridgetop

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Love that they are learning history about their own ancestors as well as American history.

I thought the Caddo Museum was destroyed in a tornado several years ago. Has it been rebuilt? We woud love to go see it. Of course, we still haven't made it to the Dairy Museum in Sulphur Springs yet! For some reason they are only open during the week and closed on weekends!
 

Tina's LucyGraycee

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I’ve been a member here for, let’s see….at least 10 years and have never kept a journal. My life has blown up to the moon, with the death of my beloved husband of 25 of the best years of my 66 years of life. I am Blessed to have known such pure adoration, wrapped in unconditional love, safe and secure in that love. Most people live their whole lives and never know the happiness I had.

This is us in 1996, we were married shortly after. My hair has long gone white, heck it was white then, but I wasn’t ready to deal with being white headed. LOL Over the years, his hair whitened and he had less of it, but when we looked at each other, we saw one another as beautiful as the day we met.

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I’m in a state of upheaval and change in my life. We bought our 8 acre farm in September 2014, moved on our 19th Anniversary, February 14, 2015. Our DD and family lived in Lindale and we wanted to be close to them so we could enjoy our granddaughters. They had to leave for better job opportunities 2 years ago, first in Odessa, Texas and now in Corpus Christi, Texas. Both locations are 8 hours away. I started making noises about moving closer, but staying in East Texas. BJ of course rumbled about moving, but eventually he would have caved in and followed me wherever I took a notion to go. He was always a good sport, no matter how wild or crazy of a thing I wanted to do, he piled in there with me and we did it together.

So now I’m all alone, no family, and the love of my life is in a cherry wood box on a table. I decided to move. I will put our farm up for sale in March. We had a great time. We worked hard, we lived our dream to the fullest. I raised feeder pigs and Cornish Cross meat chickens for the freezer, plus some to sell, that covered the cost so our meat was free. I raised a big garden, canned, froze and dehydrated the vegetables and shared with neighbors and friends. We bought 4 bred ewes, I couldn’t contain my excitement, I bed checked them every night at 11:00 and was out at daylight, looking for lambs. It seemed like eternity but I was finally rewarded by 2 ewes both presenting me with twins one morning. BJ ran out to see them and we held those babies, joy knew no boundaries.

I had 3 horses and a mule that we brought with us. I sold one of the horses and the mule. Later I saw a scrawny chestnut gelding, stocking legged and blaze faced, of course BJ bought him for me. We named him Prince and with care, he bloomed into a beautiful horse. One night I showed BJ a picture of an emaciated bony Tennessee Walker mare in a kill pen, slated for a one way ride to Mexico for slaughter. She was for sale. BJ named her Pearl on the spot and we went and got her the next day. Both horses were great with kids and I took the two little granddaughters with me on rides. We had a blast.

I always had chickens for eggs. I made us delicious breakfast with home raised pork sausage or home smoked bacon, with fresh eggs. We sold a few, gave away a few and thanked God for the bounty of the land.

BJ isn’t with me anymore. His smile, his laugh, his over the top personality, his never meet a stranger- in 5 seconds or less you’re best friends-in 10 seconds you’re kinfolks, is a memory of good times.

I must go on.

I did not make the decision to sell our farm lightly. I am embarking on a journey to find my place. I’m not sure just exactly where that will be. But I know it is no longer here.

My son has a house he bought 3 years ago to be a rental. It needs work. He is a crane operator and spends months being gone, sometimes moving his RV from one location to another, following jobs. He has tried to get workmen here to do what is needed, but has not had good results. Then the shutdown because of Covid, a year later he finally landed a job that barely covered the bills. Now jobs are opening up, he started a new job in Houston 2 days ago and will be moving his RV tomorrow.

He graciously offered his house as a place to stay after I sell the farm, to give me time to figure things out. It’s on 2 acres.

I gave away my hens to a disabled couple and their coops too. I sold my horses for real cheap, got tons of responses, and picked the families that I thought would give them the best homes. I’m keeping my sheep and dogs. I’ll have to build a shed to shelter the sheep and dogs, pens, etc. The property is fenced down both sides, with a fry-your-hair hot wire, it should be sufficient.

I’m here in the new-to-me house this morning, came down yesterday. I’m at the point of finishing up painting 2 bedrooms, still have to paint trim in one, then I can set up beds. I bought a twin/full bunk bed and will put the full in one room and the twin in the other.

I bought a coffee pot for this house, have been deprived on the couple of previous overnight stays. Everything goes better when I have coffee!

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I’m drinking my coffee, surveying my Queendom. What a mess. There is a pile of OSB, 2x4’s, sheet rock, ladders, saw horses with a sheet of OSB to make a work table, lumber, buckets, and everything is dirty. At least when he bought the house, the kitchen and bathroom had been remodeled, a little clean up and it will be real nice. My goal is to make this rentable. I can do a lot of the work myself. It needs outside work, now that DS is back to working like he used to, he has plans on getting that done. Together we’ll make it happen.

Never one to stay down for any length of time, I’ve hit the ground running. I don’t wallow in self pity, I carry my grief inside, it’s not for public display. I deal real well with reality.

What better time to start a journal. In a time of major change, striking a course to I don’t know where, y’all can hitch a ride on The Crazy Train and come along.
I want to praise you for your strength & conviction to go forward never look back. You are settled with fact of moving on to ? Carrying with you true source that's help make you who are or have become especially after devastating loss. That source is BJ. He'll be alongside you, wherever your journey takes you I have no doubt just from reading your journal post. You are truly amazing & inspirational in more ways than you know. Even with the very traits that make you who you are, you aren't afraid of unknown. That's what, in my opinion makes you unique. I'm so happy you wrote that post in your journal. I have to confess I've read it multiple times. Everytime I tear up. Even though you have no idea where your going or where your gona land your destiny a waits & you'll know minute you arrive. Best of luck to you & your travel partner (BJ in spirit). I have no doubt good things ly ahead for you. So God Bless you. Be safe in your travels.

I have to do a
P.s. I have no clue why I thought you were a man! No clue! No clue whatsoever! I'm usually pretty accurate when it comes to determining thgs like this about people. WELL 1ST TIME FOR EVERYTHG! Cuz I was dead wrong about you. Thank you for all your kind remarks you made about care I've given these sheep. They truly are beautiful animals that rely on humans to treat them with kindness & love. All living thgs, humans included deserve to be done that way.

OK I'm done for sure this time. Have a great day whatever time of day that is!!
 

Baymule

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@Tina's LucyGraycee keep reading. I found my home. I have 25 acres down a dead end dirt road. I only had one field fenced from August 28, 2022 to December of this year. I just got the front field, about 8 acres fenced in. Next will be a 70’x20’ 3 sided barn. That may take me all year.

Thank you for your kind words.
 

Baymule

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Love that they are learning history about their own ancestors as well as American history.

I thought the Caddo Museum was destroyed in a tornado several years ago. Has it been rebuilt? We woud love to go see it. Of course, we still haven't made it to the Dairy Museum in Sulphur Springs yet! For some reason they are only open during the week and closed on weekends!

That tornado did a lot of destruction. But the museum is rebuilt and best of all, the Caddo house. There is walking trails to the mounds and the general area. It’s really nice. The name of our great state came from the Caddo language, meaning “friend”. The Spaniards called it Tejas, pronounced Tay-HAS. Early settlers turned it to Texas, as part of Mexico we were called Texians. After our independence from Mexico we were and still are, Texans.
 

Baymule

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DH and I wanted to go to the Caddo museum and were sad that it had been destroyed. So happy to hear we can go now that it was rebuilt. Good thing to take grandkids to when they come out to visit.
Take a picnic lunch and y’all can sit and enjoy while kids run the trails. LOL
 

Tina's LucyGraycee

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@Tina's LucyGraycee keep reading. I found my home. I have 25 acres down a dead end dirt road. I only had one field fenced from August 28, 2022 to December of this year. I just got the front field, about 8 acres fenced in. Next will be a 70’x20’ 3 sided barn. That may take me all year.

Thank you for your kind words.
I'll definitely have to read on...I wish i had fraction of land on your smallest piece. But if everything works out I think I may have sold sheep to lady that's taught me so much, give me hay, supplies & tons of ideas to make feeders & hay racks. She's from our local Russell's Feed. Couple of employees are students in agg dept. They've come to my house to help me treat wool mix sheep with hoof rot. No way to run or walk her thru foot bath so had to do it hard way. I managed to braid a halter for her figured she'd still b a hand full but I was extremely happy she wasn't. Couple of them came back to help me catch & move young ram that suffered brain damage from head butting. Trait he inherited from his dad a Tx Dall Ram. It's really extreme head butter. Most of his offspring have bn too. They came gain came to help put make shift birthing tents. I owe this lady & guys & gals that work ar feed store so much but their gratification is seeing their transition back to health & fact they survived. So I'm saying prayers. I'm crossing everythg on my body that will cross that they will get a forever loving home. This lady wants them cuz of what they have survived thru but also for breeding to quickly big a herd since almost all barbado have twins. So keep ur fingers cross & say a little prayer to sheep God's to help this happen.

Ther is a back up plan should that fall through. So either way they'll go away from nightmare they've in last 3 yrs. Not have that visual reminder of what happened everywhere they go or look. People think I'm crazy when I say stuf like that but if people would put themselves in sheep's place why wouldn't sheep respond same way. All thgs in life have feelings. Some stronger but nevertheless they have them. They also have voices if u just pay attention.

Your welcome on my kind words but your story in general touchs people cuz it pull them in quite deep. Even though their just words they're from heart.

Barbado are only breed she's interested in. So that works out perfect. She's very familiar with all abuse these sheep have endured & survived & shockingly manage to trust humans again. Well me anyway I'm sure cuz I've cared for them so long.

I'll never forget look on their face along with body language when they recognized me. They never took their eyes off me when i started pushing down gates & lean to fence to let them out. They were eagerly waiting to get out or knew they were going with me. Even though 6) were on their death bed, others so weak they couldn't hardly walk, they gathered their strength & happily followed me. When they heard their names way ive always called them in past 3) that normally gather & lead others didn't waste any time taking their place in front. Relief on their faces was indescribable. They'll be living on 40 acre ranch with other American Blackbelly Barbado & Blackbelly Barbado from old. Can't wait & that's truly the hardest thing to do. Hurry up & wait as I always say.
 

Baymule

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My sheep are so spoiled. Some will paw my leg if I quit petting them. Such gentle creatures and yes, they do talk to you. You just have to listen.

I hope the lady at the feed store buys them, that will be awesome.
 

Baymule

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Lots of rain. Rain gauge says 1 1/2”, still raining. Got 1 1/2” last week and half inch week before that. Ground is saturated. It stormed with 40-50 MPH winds today. Sheep pens are poop soup, soggy and muddy. I can’t wait to start on building up a pad for other lots of dirt, for a barn. Next winter, the sheep will be DRY.

Standing in my driveway, road and front fence.

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End of driveway.

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Middle field.

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