ELeVan ~ Honaker Farm Journal

[redtailgal]

I'm sorry you feel bad!

 

[elevan]

Thanks. Having a cold makes me cranky...and I don't like to be cranky. But it would be a good time to take on 77's teenagers

 

[redtailgal]

 

[elevan]

Hey RTG - You can't sleep, I can't sleep. I should hop on a plane and fly down to NC and we can party in your barn with DWbonfire's calf

 

[redtailgal]

Sound great!

 

[Sunny & the 5 egg layers]

I am sorry to hear about your son. That stinks. Maybe you should look into homeschooling him?

 

[elevan]

Homeschooling? Uh...yeah, that's not gonna happen.

 

[elevan]

DH went out to put the chickens in a little while ago and came in panting.

I asked what was wrong and his response was "I am NEVER wearing RED in the field again!!"

"Why?" I asked

"Because T-Bone decided to play!"

 

[SuburbanFarmChic]

I would imagine that he's rather confused and frustrated at the moment. 5 is a hard age. You really want to be a big kid but especially so often in boys the emotional development just isn't there. Have you thought about having a party/ceremony that would make him "officially" yours? It could help boost his emotional confidence to where doesn't feel he needs to act out to get validation that you are there for him. I don't know the details so I don't know if you can get legal custody. (My cousin just got custody about eh 3 years ago in a similar situation. She had custody of her daughter already and and got custody of her daughter's 1/2 sister that the father just dumped at a friend's house. Said friend let her stay for the summer and then called Christine asking if she'd take the girl permanently. It took a couple years for custody to be swapped and social services was involved in making the needed changes but it was worth it to everybody involved)

Anyway. Something that tells your oldest that you love him and are there for him even if right now legally he's not yours. While my cousin was waiting on legal custody they did a family commitment ceremony which was fashioned after a wedding. Do you take this lady to be your mom? etc. And as a family they all have a patterned ring that they wear on their right hand. Now with being boys you may have to do something different other than a ring but it really helped with the girl feeling like she was absolutely wanted and not just being "cared for".

 

[elevan]

The youngest (who's 5) and having trouble in school...there's just no way that he'll ever truly be mine. It's just the way circumstances are. It makes me sad and I hope it's not what's bogging him down.

The oldest (who's 7) is generally very well behaved. He's the one who asked to call us Mom and Dad. I'm sure if we pushed it his biological mother's rights could be terminated so that we could adopt him, given the situation. The timings just not right for that type of push. He chose us and he knows that he's "ours" even if the legality of it isn't quite what it should be.